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Old 03-24-2009, 08:45 PM
206 posts, read 469,724 times
Reputation: 135


Did you become a "Stay At Home Mom" at your husband's request? Has your experience been positive or negative?
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Old 03-24-2009, 08:49 PM
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,736,370 times
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Why would a husband request his wife SAH? Does he want you to do the child rearing so he doesn't have to?

BTW, I was a working mom at my husband's request. I did think, fleetingly, about SAH but I have to admit that working works for us. I like that my working kind of forces he issue with regard to my husband being a more active parent. He has no choice but to cover what I can't. He's gotten pretty good at it. Some days, he does more parenting than me.
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Old 03-24-2009, 09:47 PM
5,273 posts, read 11,925,150 times
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My wife really wanted to stay at home and work on writing, getting involved at church and helping to take care of our daughter/grand daughter. We knew her writing only brings in about $15,000/yr, but she also loves to sew, crochet, cook... and we agreed we'd be poor and happy.

And so we are.
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Old 03-24-2009, 10:15 PM
Location: Austin
4,103 posts, read 5,895,144 times
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I would have been making just enough to pay daycare. Having said that it took me a while to get used to not earning my own paycheck and going into a work place. Now that I'm real comfortable with it, though, I have to go back to work. Kids are in school and hubby just got a pay cut. I much prefer staying home and managing the house and volunteering at school.
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Old 03-24-2009, 10:17 PM
25,165 posts, read 47,343,585 times
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I respect stay at home moms. It means they care for their kids.
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Old 03-24-2009, 10:19 PM
48,975 posts, read 39,447,996 times
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My wife and I were DINKS (Dual Income No Kids) for a year or two after marriage (she was 32 I was 25)
Then had kid #1 and she went to 1/2 time.
After kid #2 she WANTED to be a SAHM...and she was awesome at it.
It was lean money-wise for a while but we got through it.
Overall, our experience was positive...it was what she really wanted.

Basically, what makes things work as a couple? Discuss it, especially WAY ahead of time. (Don't buy the real expensive house and then decide later to try to do it on 1 income etc. plan ahead) Life is soooooooo short....these are some really precious, formative years.
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Old 03-24-2009, 10:33 PM
206 posts, read 469,724 times
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Default Happy

It's worked out really well for me, due to the fact that my husband has a new career and now brings in the same income as when we both were working. I'm not bragging, but we are very comfortable. I enjoy being there to take good care of the kids myself, as some nurseries just aren't safe anymore. No one will take care of your kids the way you would.
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Old 03-24-2009, 10:36 PM
23,964 posts, read 31,176,495 times
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I would have LOVED to be a SAHM. At least when my son was younger. I absolutely hated going back to work after he was born...but I was the major breadwinner, so not much choice there! Plus, in my industry, it's pretty hard to take a few years off and come back without a financial penalty.
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Old 03-24-2009, 11:16 PM
4,268 posts, read 13,722,393 times
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My husband and I are thinking about kids and discussed this topic. We both considered our options but in the end, he wanted me to work and I knew I'd be a horrible SAHM. I need the distraction of a job. We don't need the income but it'll be nice to save one and spend the other. Maybe we can reach retirement sooner! Plus, if either of us ever lost a job, at least one of us can keep the bills afloat. I respect any parent who can do it - wife or husband. The work never ends when you're at home!
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Old 03-24-2009, 11:29 PM
Location: The best little city in the country
267 posts, read 774,136 times
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I stayed at home for over a year with each of my first two kids. At some point during those years I came to the very solid conclusion that I was a HORRIBLE SAHM. I am used to multitasking to the extreme, and having a very set schedule and deadlines. Storytime at the library, and swimming lessons with a toddler just didn't do it for me. I ended up resenting the fact that I was at home all day long.

That said, by the time my 3rd one came around - I was confident in the fact that I was a happier person, and my children were better off, if I went back to work. I had a daycare center I trusted (probably more than I would have trusted my own extended family) I had a job that I loved, I had the stress levels that I needed during the day at the office, and leaving those stress levels behind everyday forced me to really go home and open my eyes and REALIZE how lucky I was to have my wonderful family.

SAHM or not - I respect both sides of the table. It's everyone's personal choice, and everyone has different reasons for which side of the table they land on. Everyone just needs to look at it, and make sure that they make their decisions for the right reasons!
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