The begining of the end!

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by msta999

Our marriage has been over for almost 10 years now, and although I feel she has try'd to get rid of me on many occasions, I stay'd because I wanted to watch my kids grow upl We are both in our mid 40's and really haven't had anything to do with the other for well over 3 years now.....She wants to live in the house with the kids, until our youngest has graduated which is in 4 years.

i say please learn to enjoy life for yourself, discover joy in your life, find out what makes you happy, and learn to have joy and pleasure in your life. you still have a lot of life to live and love and enjoy, your job is to make that happen for YOU not for other people

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by older fella

My opinion: do what you need to do for yourself, as soon as you can. You need to heal. They need to take care of themselves.

good point
good post
good advice

it is a waste of your precious life when it is spent in despair and depression
life is not meant to be wasted

[msta999]

I talked to the wife, over the weekend and asked if she would go see someone about her problems (she has admitted she knows she has problems, but doesn't know what to do about them). She asked if I was willing to wait and find out if there is anything that can be done?!!""" I have already waited a long time and in the mean time, I told her, I would even pay her 50$ a night for a romp in the sack until she was feeling more chipper . She laughed......I then told her I was serious! Sounds kind of kinky! We'll see what happens..I'm not holding my breath. Wish us luck.

I mean it has been "20" years!! Hate to not at least try everything we can and even if it doesn't work, if we get by one more year, our oldest will be out the door, I think if anyone has problems with our divorce, it will be our daughter, so, we'll have her in college......I hope. My son is too smart for his own good, he seems to never be surprised by anything, so I know he'll be ok.

Thanks for letting my dump on you all. Putting this up and reading through it does help some how.

So for now, I'm still living at home.....offered the wife a fifty Sat for the first time and she turned me down flat.......said it was that time of the month
Eh, what do ya do?!, play the cards your delt and take it one day at a time.

"I'm a man and I'll change.........if I have too".

On a good note, I got lucky tonight!!

Things still seem odd, but not as bad. Another oddity is, I know we will end up going our own ways. I can't wait to get back out in the country and she wants a condo in the city.........Did I mention I married a city girl?? uhg!

[msta999]

Trying to decide if I should consolidate everything, when we split. I mean the 401K's too. I went 7 years of not putting anything away, because she said there wasn't any money for it, all the time she was putting money away in hers. I fought it at first, but her screaming was just unbearable so I gave in to get her to quit screaming at me. So I didn't start putting anything away until 2002, and now that is down to nothing and her's is around 70K.....In a 12 year period, I have also had to refinance just over 90K of her debt into our house, if it wasn't for that, our house would be paid off now.......If she at least had something to show for all the money she spent, I wouldn't be so fustrated about this hole money deal, but she just spends, a lot of it on our daughter and wouldn't even put any effort in our son. Our daughter has been to Hawaii (going again this summer) once, CA twice, TX, AZ, and other places and has tickets to France for this summer. The wife has taken over 7 K out of our joint accounts in the last couple months (money I made working above my regular job)..........I'm 45, I just don't see how to come out of this and still have a chance at anything............There is not enough time to get a place, get it paid off and get some money in the back...............I'm still looking at my options, they just don't look good. I think the first thing I need to do is get rid of the wife, but I'm not going to do anything until my daughter graduates HS, I can see this has been affecting her and don't want to make it worse for her....I just feel so stuck!