Emotional or Physical Hurt? (wife, married, men, love)

[Chanteuse d' Opéra]

Which is worse in your opinion? For me, it is by far emotional hurt..not only is it more intense than physical pain because much of it is feelings & a usually bruised self-esteem? Physical pain in my opinion can heal up more quickly than can emotional pain, emotional pain can last for lifetimes & affect future relationships. How can one heal themselves from emotional hurt?

[Aylalou]

Both are bad!!! I can't compare between one horror to the other. Healing from emotional hurt takes place when one says NO MORE.

[funymann]

Which is worse...

Getting hit by a car or a truck?

Sad thing is...you either allow it or you don't. Most allow it.

I had someone tell me about a guy who gets treated really bad by his wife and I told him, "He allows it." In other words you only let them do it once and you draw the line and they should know, you don't cross that line. EVER!!

[Connecticut Pam]

Originally Posted by Chanteuse d' Opéra

Which is worse in your opinion? For me, it is by far emotional hurt..not only is it more intense than physical pain because much of it is feelings & a usually bruised self-esteem? Physical pain in my opinion can heal up more quickly than can emotional pain, emotional pain can last for lifetimes & affect future relationships. How can one heal themselves from emotional hurt?

How can you separate these two at all? Good God, they go hand in hand and if you think for one second that suffering physical harm doesn't cause emotional harm, then you are shut down somehow emotionally. What you are saying is that you would suffer abuse physically in place of someone perhaps verbally beating you up? There is no difference and for you to try to separate these two is messed up.

Never, ever let another person lay their hands on you in anger..NOT EVER. I was an abused child and to this day have never forgotten how the belt stung my back, legs and butt...how it felt to have my Dad kick me, punch me, slap me....I can still feel the sting. Did I heal from this physically..of course I did...wounds heal but the bigger wound has been the emotional devastation these beatings caused...by the way...I am 61 years old..no spring chicken. Now tell me that you would rather take a pounding!!

[Boneheaded]

I have always looked at my heart much like Achilles's Heal. I can not deal with emotional pain very well at all. The physical stuff I can hardly feel. It is really ironic if you know me.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by Chanteuse d' Opéra

Which is worse in your opinion? For me, it is by far emotional hurt..not only is it more intense than physical pain because much of it is feelings & a usually bruised self-esteem? Physical pain in my opinion can heal up more quickly than can emotional pain, emotional pain can last for lifetimes & affect future relationships. How can one heal themselves from emotional hurt?

I had both, one husband used to hit me, the other, was mental abuse and it was much worse in my case. Mental abuse and control is done very sublimately and slowly over a long period of time. You marry the person and right after your married they change drastically. They are emotional vampires, and drain you of all self esteem and friends. They cut you off from family and friends so that you have no support system or network. They want to control you...they are very manipulative, and down right evil in my book. And yes, I will never every have any future relationships again. I used to date, and while I was getting ready I'd break out in a cold sweat. I know there are wonderful men out there, but I just fear any kind of relationship again. Not for me...plus, I love my independence and quiet times after work, weekends and travel way to much to give it up.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by funymann

Which is worse...

Getting hit by a car or a truck?

Sad thing is...you either allow it or you don't. Most allow it.

I had someone tell me about a guy who gets treated really bad by his wife and I told him, "He allows it." In other words you only let them do it once and you draw the line and they should know, you don't cross that line. EVER!!

You are absolutely right, absolutely, and I now look back and wonder, "What the hell were you thinking". I was really vulnerable, naieve and down right stupid.

[cremebrulee]

While we're discussing this...I wonder how many of us that put up with this kind of treatment, were from abused homes?

While I was very fortunate to have a foster family, my maternal mother did a lot of damage...I didn't think I deserved any better, and if you never have a good relationship, how would you know any different, or what your missing? I really really wish, the school would step in and educate kids on this...what to do and where to go in the event they are being abused.

Like I said, I made some very bad choices due to this, but was one of the lucky ones, b/c I had a very caring loving family take me in and treat me like they're own. I thank my lucky stars.

[noela]

physical hurt implies emotional hurt. But I just can't compare: both are equally damaging in my book.

[tag08]

But take the situation of where a couple treats each other great.. then all of a sudden Person #1 finds out that Person #2 has been cheating or something.. That pain comes out of nowhere so it's not like the other person was "allowing" it. Or what if Person #1 unintentionally hurts Person #2 so Person #2 leaves and Person #1 is devastated.

I broke my femur (thigh bone) when I was younger.. So the last time I had my heart broken, I used to tell people that I'd rather break my leg than go through what I was going through.. And I still feel like that. And I'm usually not an overly emotional person either!