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Old 04-15-2010, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA
5,412 posts, read 1,145,868 times
Reputation: 916
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
This is so true. Most normal heterosexual men do not compete with each other and view such gatherings as times to have a good time, talk about sports, commiserate about whatever, and of course, drink.

Perhaps the fact that men are so chill is a major reason that I've been hearing women say that they have more ease being friends with men than with other women since I started college. And perhaps this is a reason so many women I've come across after entering the workforce say they prefer male bosses over female bosses. (Although one of my better bosses was a woman whose cultural sophistication, business credentials, class, and manners always humbled me.)

Women? They ALWAYS check each other out and they give each other dirty looks from puberty. And if grown men try to one-up others - career, money, accomplishments - it's usually shot down as "bush league" or "ghetto" or any other adjective you wish to use.

The only time, IMO, when females having guy friends can turn problematic is if one of the two begins to want more than friendship. Then it turns into an entirely different ballgame.

barfights are usually over women.
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Old 04-15-2010, 09:50 AM
 
1,860 posts, read 2,490,456 times
Reputation: 1343
Quote:
Originally Posted by betamanlet View Post
barfights are usually over women.
If you are one day a married man and some dude disrespects your wife, wouldn't that anger you to the point that you'd be willing to fight the man?
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Old 04-15-2010, 09:56 AM
 
Location: silver springs
792 posts, read 731,727 times
Reputation: 571
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
If you are one day a married man and some dude disrespects your wife, wouldn't that anger you to the point that you'd be willing to fight the man?
he would be destroyed immediately ....its MY girl and he shows disrespect towards ME at that point.....he gets what he deserves mans creed....thou shall not or thou shall die
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Old 04-15-2010, 09:56 AM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,197,848 times
Reputation: 14923
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExPit View Post
So why don't so many men have this with each other?

Because when men don't get along, they get in each other's faces about it. If it comes to blows, it comes to blows. Then it's all over and they go get a beer.

However, I do agree with those who say that women who are catty are generally insecure. After my chick buddies of my early 20s dispersed to various points around the country, I ran into more and more catty women. I don't know if it's that being single in one's late 20s makes some women feel insecure or what. Could be what someone else said about women judging their worth on a man's approval (and obviously, if you're married, at least one man approves of you).

At any rate, I had one close female friend at that point, and the rest of our social circle consisted of men. We just got tired of dealing with the cattiness.

It actually caused a few problems, though, not so much for us because we had a great time going to games, keeping stats for their night leagues, and so on, but for the guys whenever they first started dating someone: The new women would get all vicious before even meeting us. Then the guys would bring them around ("Susan wants to meet you--make it easy on me?") and a month later the women would all confess that when they first heard of us, they anticipated meeting either two lesbians or two "ho-bags," and that it ticked them off even more because they wanted to hate us but couldn't because we were "just so dang nice and cool."
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Old 04-15-2010, 10:02 AM
 
Location: US, California - federalist
2,795 posts, read 1,699,036 times
Reputation: 471
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple View Post
Hmm...I notice men being very competitive and making fun of each other - the difference is, most don't seem to take it to heart. They are more open about it too.

A lot of women will do the same thing, but they take it personally. I think women's relationships with each other are closer emotionally, and so emotions tend to run higher in general.

The cattiness is the feminine way of being competitive; "feminine" meaning it is simply less direct.

I think women have been conditioned to be less direct because society made it so we had to be. It used to be that women had little direct control over their own lives, and so they had to find subtle ways to influence things. Though that may not be the case now completely, a very direct woman may be seen as masculine or harsh, when the same behavior is perfectly acceptable in a man.

That said, there are a lot of non-catty, cool women out there who support each other & don't get upset over every little thing. And yes, age/maturity has a lot to do with it.
What about when a female is simply cute enough to get away with some things that many other women can't ? Can you provide an example of how your view would work in that case or do women have a different strategy?

What about when a guy has a petty cash fund for such purpose? Do women employ the same strategy as when a guy does not have a petty cash fund for that purpose?

I agree with you that women can be unique whenever they want, but as a gender they are still female.

Our Constitution and Bill of Rights is gender neutral.
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Old 04-15-2010, 10:24 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,717 posts, read 17,782,341 times
Reputation: 28954
Quote:
Originally Posted by danielpalos View Post
What about when a female is simply cute enough to get away with some things that many other women can't ? Can you provide an example of how your view would work in that case or do women have a different strategy?

What about when a guy has a petty cash fund for such purpose? Do women employ the same strategy as when a guy does not have a petty cash fund for that purpose?

I agree with you that women can be unique whenever they want, but as a gender they are still female.

Our Constitution and Bill of Rights is gender neutral.
You guys, I must be losing my mind, because I have re-read this five or six times and I still can't understand it.

What?
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Old 04-15-2010, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
12,724 posts, read 9,833,777 times
Reputation: 19359
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
You guys, I must be losing my mind, because I have re-read this five or six times and I still can't understand it.

What?
No, I'm there, too.

What petty cash? What purpose? What does the Constitution have to do with mean girls?
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Old 04-16-2010, 08:26 AM
 
Location: US, California - federalist
2,795 posts, read 1,699,036 times
Reputation: 471
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
You guys, I must be losing my mind, because I have re-read this five or six times and I still can't understand it.

What?
You can work on this one. I am pretty sure just about any girl can understand this concept.

What about when a female is simply cute enough to get away with some things that many other women can't ? Can you provide an example of how your view would work in that case or do women have a different strategy?
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Old 04-16-2010, 08:29 AM
 
Location: US, California - federalist
2,795 posts, read 1,699,036 times
Reputation: 471
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
No, I'm there, too.

What petty cash? What purpose? What does the Constitution have to do with mean girls?
It was a direct response to the post, if not the thread. Do women play the same games when a guy can afford to buy it somewhere else? In other words, if a guy can simply pay a woman to use him for sex regardless if he wants a relationship afterward, why would he want to play games with women who are using every guy but him for sex, and claiming what they really wanted was a true love, one and only relationship with him?
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Old 04-16-2010, 08:31 AM
 
16,623 posts, read 13,373,558 times
Reputation: 11439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
This is so true. Most normal heterosexual men do not compete with each other and view such gatherings as times to have a good time, talk about sports, commiserate about whatever, and of course, drink.
i don't agree with that at all. men - particularly normal, heterosexual, young, single men - compete intensely in social situations, for attention, respect, et cetera. just go to your local college bar and watch the males jockey with one another for position. have you never been in a situation where you felt there was 'too much testosterone in the room' ? that is male competition.
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