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Old 04-10-2009, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
657 posts, read 953,281 times
Reputation: 390
Quote:
Originally Posted by alohaha View Post
No, we haven't slept together. but we did make out, like kiss, touch...etc. we also call each other honey and baby, etc...

I am 24, and maybe I am immature. but don't you ever wonder what if?? what if i am with a wrong person? what if there is a better one? what if ther is no a better one ?
what if i win the lottery tomorrow? what if i don't get the money because i die tonight? what if?

quit asking what if.. you'll never be happy with anyone, ever, if you don't. don't wonder.. just take life as it comes, and enjoy it. "what if" is a form of overanalyzing things, and eventually will turn to near literal paranoia.
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Old 04-10-2009, 09:26 AM
 
65 posts, read 107,504 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ulnevrwalkalone View Post
Both parties sound pretty young, the guy is in love after a month? How can he possibly really know anything about this girl? If you are having sex then you definitely need to tell him how you feel, if you're not then that explains the "I think you are the one" talk

we have talked a bit on msn for about one month..and dated for a month...then he said he loves me...

is this too fast?? so what is a "reasonable" timeline for people to say "I love you'??
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Old 04-10-2009, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,191 posts, read 24,498,380 times
Reputation: 12279
Quote:
Originally Posted by alohaha View Post
thanks!! I do see him face to face, but he still sends messages to me 4-5 times a day and calls me at the end of the day..and then calls me before i go to bed..

he has been very sweet to me...and I do like him...I would be so sad if I lost him...but I just feel something is missing...for example, he doesn't like to go to pubs with me (I like live music there)...he doesn't make plans for our dates...he likes to watch movies at home or go out for dinner...He just says that he would love to do anything I want...it bothers me that he is like that sometimes...I thought he doesnt care enough to make a dating plan..but all other behaviors shows that he loves me... do you think, this is only his personality or he doesn't care me enough or just me being fussy?
If he doesn't have the qualities you are looking for and that are important to you, move on. There are a million people out there who fit the bill of what you are looking for. If his lack of planning, non-interest in activities you enjoy, etc. bothers you now - after a month or two - guess what ... it isn't going to get any better a year or two or ten from now. It will only get worse. Because you accepted the relationship as it is, you've already set the tone for the future. If he's lazy now, he's only going to get lazier. You need not be so dependent on other people for your happiness. Just because somebody treats you nice and maybe throws in an "I love you" every once in a while is not a reason to keep them hanging around. Do you love him?

Just as an observation, I was reading the People magazine and Melissa from The Bachelor and Dancing With The Stars is on the front cover and it says something to the effect of being in love again weeks after being dumped by Jason. Weeks!!! This isn't love! Love takes a while to cultivate. If that's love, then you could ostensibly fall in love with a different person every single day. Anyway, it sort of reminded me of this thread, I don't know why.
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Old 04-10-2009, 09:34 AM
 
Location: The 719
8,021 posts, read 12,810,696 times
Reputation: 9403
Quote:
Originally Posted by alohaha View Post
what if I can't find another man who loves me more or is better than him?
That's where you lost me. What is this dating service for? Did you think you were gonna find some guy and date him for 2 months, meet his mom and have him NOT take it as seriously as you?



Were you both on the same dating site?
  • Press here to find your life long soul mate
  • Press here to find a potential long term mate, but not ready to walk right on down the aisle
  • Press here to find someone who's not in a rush
  • Press here to find someone to not get serious with, maybe have a few laughs, but keep your profile up and date others
I'm not an expert on how these things go, but if you go into it with the feeling that this is the last chance, then what if you accidently stumble onto a relationship with a guy who, Heaven forbid, thinks the same thing?

I would logically think that dating sites are for just that; date. Meet, greet, have dinner, maybe a movie, maybe a physical relationship, maybe get serious and maybe back away and start over.

But when you met his family you must have had a clue that he's taking this more serious than you. If you're sticking with him out of fear that this may be your last opportunity with a guy at least this good, that's what you need to rap to your confidential friends about. That's a sick behavior that's only in your head and will cause this guy (most importantly) serious harm and yourself (not as important) harm too. I say this not to judge you, but because if you want to live by the Golden Rule, you should learn to be easy on others and hard on yourself; not the other way around. You do this and you'll at least be healthy enough to end a relationship like a mature adult.

Good luck with that.

Add: Oh you're 24! Well that explains it. So old! You are probably mature enough for your age. Don't be in a hurry growing up. You like to go to the bar and socialize and he doesn't? That's a problem right there. There's a time to be selfish and demand what you want in a partner. I would think the online dating would give you the freedom to do that. In the future, don't go so far with the wrong guy and don't think you're in a hurry at 24! So old!

Happy Easter!

Oh, "I love you." for a guy after 1 month means "Let's have sex now."

Last edited by McGowdog; 04-10-2009 at 09:52 AM..
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Old 04-10-2009, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Cairo - Egypt
4,495 posts, read 1,891,577 times
Reputation: 3214
I think that you can date him for awhile after deleting your profile...and if you find out that you don't love him and he is not the suitable one for you..Put your profile back.
Give yourself and this man a chance....The dating website will always be there for you.
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Old 04-10-2009, 09:58 AM
 
65 posts, read 107,504 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by McGowdog View Post
That's where you lost me. What is this dating service for? Did you think you were gonna find some guy and date him for 2 months, meet his mom and have him NOT take it as seriously as you?




Were you both on the same dating site?
  • Press here to find your life long soul mate
  • Press here to find a potential long term mate, but not ready to walk right on down the aisle
  • Press here to find someone who's not in a rush
  • Press here to find someone to not get serious with, maybe have a few laughs, but keep your profile up and date others
I'm not an expert on how these things go, but if you go into it with the feeling that this is the last chance, then what if you accidently stumble onto a relationship with a guy who, Heaven forbid, thinks the same thing?

I would logically think that dating sites are for just that; date. Meet, greet, have dinner, maybe a movie, maybe a physical relationship, maybe get serious and maybe back away and start over.

But when you met his family you must have had a clue that he's taking this more serious than you. If you're sticking with him out of fear that this may be your last opportunity with a guy at least this good, that's what you need to rap to your confidential friends about. That's a sick behavior that's only in your head and will cause this guy (most importantly) serious harm and yourself (not as important) harm too. I say this not to judge you, but because if you want to live by the Golden Rule, you should learn to be easy on others and hard on yourself; not the other way around. You do this and you'll at least be healthy enough to end a relationship like a mature adult.

Good luck with that.

Add: Oh you're 24! Well that explains it. So old! You are probably mature enough for your age. Don't be in a hurry growing up. You like to go to the bar and socialize and he doesn't? That's a problem right there. There's a time to be selfish and demand what you want in a partner. I would think the online dating would give you the freedom to do that. In the future, don't go so far with the wrong guy and don't think you're in a hurry at 24! So old!

Happy Easter!

Oh, "I love you." for a guy after 1 month means "Let's have sex now."
He is very patient...I said I want to wait until I am ready for sex..so he never pushed me...he said he will wait until i am ready...he is 27 by the way...
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Old 04-10-2009, 10:00 AM
 
Location: in my imagination
10,080 posts, read 12,819,134 times
Reputation: 7065
Quote:
Originally Posted by alohaha View Post
I met him from on line dating website. So we started dating for over 2 months so far, and he said he loves me after we dated for about 1 months.

He is very nice and caring to me, and I feel loved and happy being with him. He also introduced me to his family and always calls and sends messages me. he also thinks I am the one.

So last night he was unhappy that he found me still have my profile on that dating website. (He had taken off his profile after we dated for two or three weeks.) So to make him happy, I deleted my profile.

But now I realize that I am not happy, I still want to keep my options open and want to put my profile back on that website, but at the same time I don't want to loose him or hurt him, I like him alot. what if I can't find another man who loves me more or is better than him?

what should I do? should I be honest with him and tell him what I think? would he go away and think anything bad about me? or should I exclusively date him for a while and see how it goes?








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Old 04-10-2009, 10:03 AM
 
65 posts, read 107,504 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by New-Mona View Post
I think that you can date him for awhile after deleting your profile...and if you find out that you don't love him and he is not the suitable one for you..Put your profile back.
Give yourself and this man a chance....The dating website will always be there for you.

that makes sense...i guess I am just being too careful about investing myself in a " relationship"...just dont want to waste time and miss good guys...

but have your cake and eat it all- no such a thing..
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Old 04-10-2009, 10:04 AM
 
65 posts, read 107,504 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post







O...K.... am i confusing you? I just have mixed feelings..whats wrong about that
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Old 04-10-2009, 10:11 AM
 
Location: in my imagination
10,080 posts, read 12,819,134 times
Reputation: 7065
Quote:
Originally Posted by alohaha View Post
O...K.... am i confusing you? I just have mixed feelings..whats wrong about that
Well you say he is a great guy and all,don't want to loose him and really like him.Yet you aren't happy and want to see if you can do better yet you wonder if you will be able to find someone who loves you more and is better......what is more and what is better?


You want him on a string
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