i feel silly and resentful - am i right to feel this? (how to, woman)

[samston]

there is this woman i like in my workplace, and i sent her an e-mail saying i'd like to chat outside work. she and i chat sometimes during the day, and i want to get to know her better.

she hasn't responded yet...
i know she doesn't care, and i should move on and forget it, but i don't like being shown up like that. she probably has gone and told all her friends how some guy at work e-mailed her; i guess i just don't like being made a fool of.

so, am i right to feel silly, or should i go along with my own feeling and move on and forget it?

[Barrister85]

She's in the wrong for not even bothering to address it. If she's not interested, the least she could do is respond in person or by email and say thanks, but no thanks. I wish people would be up front with each other in a polite and reasonable way, but it's easier to just ignore it.

Chances are your mind is working overtime. I know, because I do the same thing ALL the time. I've called girls to ask if I'm being an ******* to them and they don't even understand what I'm talking about.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by samston

there is this woman i like in my workplace, and i sent her an e-mail saying i'd like to chat outside work. she and i chat sometimes during the day, and i want to get to know her better.

she hasn't responded yet, and i feel a dick.

i know she doesn't care, and i should move on and forget it, but i don't like being shown up like that. she probably has gone and told all her friends how some guy at work e-mailed her; i guess i just don't like being made a fool of.

so, am i right to feel silly, or should i go along with my own feeling and move on and forget it?

How long has it been since you sent her the email? And if you work with her, why didn't you just ask her in person? That would make me feel a little odd, to have someone that I work with, ask me that in an email. Also, why would you think that she would go tell others about your request? If you thought she was that type, why are you even interested in her???

But as far as your question...if it's been a few days, simply email her back and tell her you take her lack of a response to be an indication that she is not interested, but that you value her as a friend and hope that you both can remain so. Easy. No reason at all for you to feel silly or resentful.

[samston]

Originally Posted by ChessieMom

How long has it been since you sent her the email? And if you work with her, why didn't you just ask her in person? That would make me feel a little odd, to have someone that I work with, ask me that in an email. Also, why would you think that she would go tell others about your request? If you thought she was that type, why are you even interested in her???

But as far as your question...if it's been a few days, simply email her back and tell her you take her lack of a response to be an indication that she is not interested, but that you value her as a friend and hope that you both can remain so. Easy. No reason at all for you to feel silly or resentful.

i feel silly since i've been made a fool of. and i don't like being made a fool of. i know she will tell everybody since that's what normal people usually do.

but i've moved beyond it. next time she says hello to me, i'll just ignore her. i have other people in my life, i don't need her.

[oleo]

you sent her an email saying "i'd like to chat outside work"

that is creepy man..... what is wrong with you?

it's probably too late now, but why don't you just ask her to get something to eat with you after work or something?

don't send an email like that...it's just weird

How old are you?

[samston]

Originally Posted by oleo

you sent her an email saying "i'd like to chat outside work"

that is creepy man. what is wrong with you?

it's probably too late now, but why don't you just ask her to get something to eat with you after work or something?

i don't want to any more.

i'll ignore her, she'll ignore me, so it would suit us both fine.

[mommytotwo]

Originally Posted by ChessieMom

But as far as your question...if it's been a few days, simply email her back and tell her you take her lack of a response to be an indication that she is not interested, but that you value her as a friend and hope that you both can remain so. Easy. No reason at all for you to feel silly or resentful.

Great advice.

You don't want to just leave it out there, especially if she hasn't responded. Maybe she just isn't sure what to say exactly.

It sounds like your ego is hurt.

I would be upset to if I put myself out on a limb like that and the other person didn't even respond.

But, just give her the benefit of the doubt, because if she isn't interested but hasn't responded it is probably because she just doesn't know how to tell you she's not interested, or is worried about making the work relationship more awkward than it is now going to be.
Don't assume she is telling all her friends.

[NYC1DAY]

Originally Posted by oleo

you sent her an email saying "i'd like to chat outside work"

that is creepy man..... what is wrong with you?

it's probably too late now, but why don't you just ask her to get something to eat with you after work or something?

don't send an email like that...it's just weird

exactly. you should not be bringing that stuff into the workplace

she might be ready to slap a sexual harrassment case on you

[mommytotwo]

Originally Posted by samston

i don't want to any more.

i'll ignore her, she'll ignore me, so it would suit us both fine.

That is just slightly childish in my opinion.

If you give her an attitude, she's just going to think she was right not to be interested.

Be nice. Then she just might realize what she's missing out on......

[oleo]

Originally Posted by samston

i don't want to any more.

i'll ignore her, she'll ignore me, so it would suit us both fine.

That sounds really mature. Are you proud of the way you handled this? Be a man. Grow up.
Be mature. You'll be more attractive to others. Stop acting like a little baby.