i feel a bit desperate, and i know this is offputting - how to get around it?

[Heiwos]

Originally Posted by samston

i sound whiney, but all of the reasons above get me down a bit sometimes. I know i should be positive, but I just want somebody to snuggle with.

Yeah, stop the whiney and realize that you're in the driver's seat in the prime of your dating life. You're at, or nearing, the ripest age of attractiveness for a LTR for women. Here's what I would do if I were in your position: every time you see a girl who looks good on appearances and has no wedding ring, ask her out. They're waiting to be asked out. The problem is, you're waiting too. If you're not confident in doing that, do it anyway, it should get easier with practice.

[bxlefty23]

long story short i had a 3 year relationship end early last year, went out with a few women and i really did want a relationship but i just didnt click with anyone and basically gave up on the idea
out of no where i met an awesome women and everything so far has gone perfectly
im not sure if its because i let my guard down and was just being myself instead of coming across as wanting a relationship, but that sure couldnt have hurt

[temptation001]

Originally Posted by samston

the third reason (and to me the most important) is i just want closeness with somebody. i'm 30 in under 4 months, and i think i need to start to slow down. not get married, but just have somebody to share life with.

LOL. Slow down what?

[Connecticut Pam]

Originally Posted by samston

i know my threads in this forum have been a bit...well...off. but i've learnt my lesson now, and am over the issue in my last thread.i think lately i am trying to hard to find somebody. and i know this can be counter-productive. looking for somebody to date is fine, but being eager is like putting a sign on my head saying "I need a date!! please date me. Pleaaaaase??" lol.. i can understand that being eager makes women think "loser!!" and not pursue anything.now, i feel desperate for a number of reasons. first, it's been too long since my last relationship - 2 years to be exact. second, well...this is embarrassing but my drive has risen over the past few months, far higher than it has been for quite some years. because of this, i need somebody to...you know...satisfy the urges, if you catch my meaning. i could get a friends with benefits, but i only have female acquaintances and not friends as such. there is this one woman i know who i find cute, but she is already attached. and there is another one who i also find cute, but she is a Christian and probably doesn't see a **** buddy relationship as morally right.the third reason (and to me the most important) is i just want closeness with somebody. i'm 30 in under 4 months, and i think i need to start to slow down. not get married, but just have somebody to share life with. i sound whiney, but all of the reasons above get me down a bit sometimes. I know i should be positive, but I just want somebody to snuggle with.

Glad to see that you have cleaned up your posts some. You would never have even found someone to talk to with your former posts, so this is a good start. Now, you need to not sound so desperate. Desperation is a big turn off for women and you do sound despearte. How about this...get out more! So perhaps you don't know the area well, join a gym, go for a run. The exercise will work out that MALE frustration you are feeling and you just might meet a nice woman....I caution you...do not be over zealous with a woman when you finally do meet her. Women now a days are trained in all kids of self protection and you might get more than you bargained for. Cool your jets son...get out more and socialize and keep cleaning up your posts on here too.

[samston]

Originally Posted by temptation001

LOL. Slow down what?

huh? i don't your point.

[samston]

Originally Posted by Heiwos

Yeah, stop the whiney and realize that you're in the driver's seat in the prime of your dating life. You're at, or nearing, the ripest age of attractiveness for a LTR for women. Here's what I would do if I were in your position: every time you see a girl who looks good on appearances and has no wedding ring, ask her out. They're waiting to be asked out. The problem is, you're waiting too. If you're not confident in doing that, do it anyway, it should get easier with practice.

i am confident in doing that.

tonight i'll go to the mall and speak to some ladies. thanks all!

[pigeonhole]

Whatever you do, man, never lose your pride and do not have that attitude "please date me pleeeaze" even if you must feel frustrated.
Having self-esteem anyway is highly prized by females, don't be a "crawler"!

[temptation001]

Originally Posted by temptation001

LOL. Slow down what?

Lol. I was just making a joke on how nothing is happening and you want to slow down.

[thebanker]

GOOD LUCK. Hope you find a nice person!

[Twinkle Toes]

Originally Posted by samston

i know my threads in this forum have been a bit...well...off. but i've learnt my lesson now, and am over the issue in my last thread.

i think lately i am trying to hard to find somebody. and i know this can be counter-productive. looking for somebody to date is fine, but being eager is like putting a sign on my head saying "I need a date!! please date me. Pleaaaaase??" lol.. i can understand that being eager makes women think "loser!!" and not pursue anything.

now, i feel desperate for a number of reasons. first, it's been too long since my last relationship - 2 years to be exact. second, well...this is embarrassing but my drive has risen over the past few months, far higher than it has been for quite some years. because of this, i need somebody to...you know...satisfy the urges, if you catch my meaning. i could get a friends with benefits, but i only have female acquaintances and not friends as such. there is this one woman i know who i find cute, but she is already attached. and there is another one who i also find cute, but she is a Christian and probably doesn't see a **** buddy relationship as morally right.

the third reason (and to me the most important) is i just want closeness with somebody. i'm 30 in under 4 months, and i think i need to start to slow down. not get married, but just have somebody to share life with.

i sound whiney, but all of the reasons above get me down a bit sometimes. I know i should be positive, but I just want somebody to snuggle with.

Have you thought about getting a Snuggie? Bed, Bath & Beyond has them for $14.00!!!!!