i feel a bit desperate, and i know this is offputting - how to get around it? (dating, Christian)

[samston]

i know my threads in this forum have been a bit...well...off. but i've learnt my lesson now, and am over the issue in my last thread.

i think lately i am trying to hard to find somebody. and i know this can be counter-productive. looking for somebody to date is fine, but being eager is like putting a sign on my head saying "I need a date!! please date me. Pleaaaaase??" lol.. i can understand that being eager makes women think "loser!!" and not pursue anything.

now, i feel desperate for a number of reasons. first, it's been too long since my last relationship - 2 years to be exact. second, well...this is embarrassing but my drive has risen over the past few months, far higher than it has been for quite some years. because of this, i need somebody to...you know...satisfy the urges, if you catch my meaning. i could get a friends with benefits, but i only have female acquaintances and not friends as such. there is this one woman i know who i find cute, but she is already attached. and there is another one who i also find cute, but she is a Christian and probably doesn't see a **** buddy relationship as morally right.

the third reason (and to me the most important) is i just want closeness with somebody. i'm 30 in under 4 months, and i think i need to start to slow down. not get married, but just have somebody to share life with.

i sound whiney, but all of the reasons above get me down a bit sometimes. I know i should be positive, but I just want somebody to snuggle with.

[ExPit]

Ok, so what are you doing home on a Friday night?

[samston]

Originally Posted by ExPit

Ok, so what are you doing home on a Friday night?

i get your point. and it is a good one to make, but i don't know many people in my town, nor any bars in my town.

[ExPit]

Originally Posted by samston

i get your point. and it is a good one to make, but i don't know many people in my town, nor any bars in my town.

No bars in town or just none that you know? Being the mysterious stranger in the joint has its upside. All those chicks are sick of looking at the same Tom, Dick, and Harrys, they've already been there and done that, so to speak. You on the other hand are all possibilities. Hey, don't get me wrong. I had nights like that at your age, (I've got almost 15 years on you). I know that being single is not always what it's cracked up to be. But think of how many married guys there are on this board that would love to trade places with you tonight, myself included. There is, samston, a great deal to be said for new romantic beginnings. Sorry for the cheap metaphor, but you can't get on base if you don't take your swings. The fact that your currently loaded with ammunition says the time is right.

[samston]

Originally Posted by ExPit

No bars in town or just none that you know? Being the mysterious stranger in the joint has its upside. All those chicks are sick of looking at the same Tom, Dick, and Harrys, they've already been there and done that, so to speak. You on the other hand are all possibilities. Hey, don't get me wrong. I had nights like that at your age, (I've got almost 15 years on you). I know that being single is not always what it's cracked up to be. But think of how many married guys there are on this board that would love to trade places with you tonight, myself included. There is, samston, a great deal to be said for new romantic beginnings. Sorry for the cheap metaphor, but you can't get on base if you don't take your swings. The fact that your currently loaded with ammunition says the time is right.

i don't know any in my town. i moved here about 18 months ago and still don't know the place that well.

[ChessieMom]

If I knew where you lived, I could pretty much tell you where to go inside of 15 minutes. The internet is a great tool my friend. You should use it!

[Redisca]

How about using a dating site? Put some thought into your profile, though. And -- this is just friendly advice -- please make it grammatical and capitalize where appropriate. Sloppy writing makes a poor first impression.

[ExPit]

Originally Posted by samston

i don't know any in my town. i moved here about 18 months ago and still don't know the place that well.

I don't know Sam, but I've done a lot of traveling and I always looked at a new town, a new club as an adventure. What's that song? Girls Just Wanna Have Fun? It's pretty true, just keep it light. Just know what any girl, any guy for that matter is looking for on a Friday night. It ain't depression. That said, I have also been guilty of that mistake. But if you jump in the shower and then your car and head out here pretty fast it will still be fresh in your mind. Wallowing's a bore.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by ExPit

I don't know Sam, but I've done a lot of traveling and I always looked at a new town, a new club as an adventure. What's that song? Girls Just Wanna Have Fun? It's pretty true, just keep it light. Just know what any girl, any guy for that matter is looking for on a Friday night. It ain't depression. That said, I have also been guilty of that mistake. But if you jump in the shower and then your car and head out here pretty fast it will still be fresh in your mind. Wallowing's a bore.

I so agree!! I love going to a new place and checking everything out. Man you have the place at your feet! No one knows you? Well all the more reason to get out there!! Go get dressed! Now! Report back tomorrow.

[wanneroo]

I say go Cougar and you'll be snuggling to your hearts content.