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None of my girlfrieds nor I called the others boyfriend unless instructed to, to see what time we were to meet up..
One girlsfriends boyfriend use to send all her girlfriends flowers though. He was a jerk and was trying to run all her friends off.. each week he would pick another of her friend to glare at or insult, once she was told what he was doing, the person he selected to be ugly to would get flowers that week... He didn't last long at all...
Now I did have one fella that after I dumped him, would call everybody to rant and rave about me, how low down I was and how I had wronged him.. We shut him down completely by hanging up when he called and that stopped it.
You can be friends with females, but have enough respect for YOUR girlfriend and don't be accepting phone calls and trading texts every damn day. A Hi how are you every once and a while is sufficient. Most people arent mature enough to have a friend of the opposite sex while in a relationship, because they tend to act on their sexual feelings.
i know, he doesnt even know why i was kinda distant late that night... i dont want to ask him about this, because i dont want to be petty, insecure and immature...but I have doubt about being strictly platonic..
Then you're being unfair to him. You're punishing him, in a sense, without anything concrete.
And look, I don't want to put extra stuff in your head to worry about, but chances are the farthest its gone is that there's some level of sexual tension between him and his female friend. That kind of stuff can just happen without either party really meaning it to. That's how I got involved with one of my friends, but neither she or I were dating anyone else at the time.
If he cares about you enough (and you make it sound like he does), he won't act on it or let it affect his relationship with you. Right now the only person affecting you two's relationship is you.
he told me that he doesn't have a lot of female friends, and he mostly hangs out with his guy friends...it just hit me that he might not be honest about what he told me...
other than this, all other things tell that he does love me...
Do you mind if I ask you around what age group you're in?
18-21, 22-25, 26+ That would give more of an insight as to what stage he is in his life to be saying the whole "love" thing.
Alohha,
Unless you have concrete evidence that he is messing around he could tell you what ever he wants about those calls, it's neither here nor there. Like Lindsey said, I would be worried about the calls he answered not the one's he missed. Doesn't he ever talk to these girls in front of you? Were those calls missed because he couldn't "talk" to them because you were there?
All in all it's better to give someone the benifit of the doubt until he proves other wise. Truth has a way of always coming to the surface, maybe not when you want it to, but definetly when you need it to.
If you're feeling uneasy about anything, and your instincts are sending you worry signals, it's important that you address it right away before you start putting too much into it. It obviously seems to be nagging in the back of your mind so before you all of a sudden errupt one day out of anxiety and portray yourself as the psycho GF, I suggest you bring it into discussion when it's still fresh.
You have to listen to your feelings - they are a natural response there to warn you. It is normal these days to brush them aside for fear of looking desperate or whatever, but the reality is, I have felt that way many times before and I just wish i had ended it sooner when in a similar situation. All this advice from people doesn't mean they know the dynamics of your relationship. Only you do, and that's PRECISELY why your feelings are telling you this. It's that realisation from your mind to your heart.
He doesn't sound honest. Your feelings come first.
If another woman wants to let their man have female friends, then their relationship is entirely different, but the fact this man has his girl friends on the side (and let's not kid ourselves here, female-male friendships are never just that. A passing hello is good. Calls at night are most definitely not!!!) is hurting you - and he keeps it hidden because he knows this.
Pull away - that is the best thing to do.
When I found the right guy, any (and I mean ANY) hint that i was upset about a friend of his meant he was right there putting a stop to it. and we are still together loving each other more than I could have thought possible. Not obsessive. Normal............
From experience I also know that whatever his intentions are, does not mean they are the same as his so called 'friend'.
If he loves you, you have nothing to worry about. But if he loves you then you wouldn't be feeling this way. Like I said your feelings are there to tell you that with regards to the man who you want to treat you correctly, this is not happening right now, and the red signal is on.
I would have probably listened to the other comments saying you are being too sensitive to the situation a few years ago, but boy do I know how wrong they are. (And no, it's not because these guys lied and were the 'exception').
Good luck and hold out for the right guy - if you carry on feeling hurt you lose all your value! If you love him so badly the only thing you can do is to pull away - and you were exactly right in thinking that approach. Don't pander to him, for heavens sake. It's the hardest thing, but don't.
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