Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Most females grow up dreaming of their wedding day. Sometime during her teens. she decides when she'd like to get married, if at all. No one wants to waste their time and no one wants to get used. Think about how you feel about losing your FWB. If you had told her early on that you were open to the idea of being more than sex buddies, you might be in the throws of a great romance.
For me you don't have to define the relationship early on, but you DO have to tell me if you are loooking for something long term or just a fling. And please be honest.
Most females grow up dreaming of their wedding day. Sometime during her teens. she decides when she'd like to get married, if at all. No one wants to waste their time and no one wants to get used. Think about how you feel about losing our FWB. If you had told her early on that you were open to the idea of being more than sex buddies, you might be in the throws of a great romance.
For me you don't have to define the relationship early on, but you DO have to tell me if you are loooking for something long term or just a fling. And please be honest.
Yeah, you make some good points. I guess I was frustrated when I wrote this thread originally. Thing was, I went into it looking for a "fling" of sorts, because I found my friend sexually appealing, she was safe, and I knew she was laid-back and wouldn't make a big deal of things. However, emotions changed later I guess.
You shouldn't fault all men if they're not upfront early on. It's complicated for us too. For every douche bag, there is one of us who is just as concerned about getting burned as the woman is.
You shouldn't fault all men if they're not upfront early on. It's complicated for us too. For every douche bag, there is one of us who is just as concerned about getting burned as the woman is.
Being concerned about getting burned doesn't justify manipulating another human being. If you don't want a serious relationship, don't lead her to believe otherwise.
I never wanted to define my relationships, the guys I dated always did. I think it's natural to want an answer from someone who clearly doesn't want to give you one...regardless of the sex of the person.
But when you are thinking about life, settling down, making big changes and wanting you current partner to be part of that, it's only natural to want to know where things stand. Example; My daughter is graduating college in a few months and will probably be moving to a new area in search of a job in her industry, and since her current bf of nearly a year is in the same field she would love for them to make the move together. The guy is waffling, not sure what he wants to do, doesn't know where he wants to go, etc. She took that as "I'm going to break up with you when we graduate" even though he doesn't actually want to do that. Now they HAVE to define their relationship...or it's over.
To barrister85 - I'm a man,29, and have always wanted a woman to define the relationship from the start. To me it grants me the knowledge of knowing I am making a better choice in my partner. I wouldn't want to spend 6 months or 60 years with a woman who wasn't interested in the important aspects of a relationship... love, marraige, children.
Im a guy and I will admit that I am guilty of this from time to time. I guess it is just good to know where you stand with someone...so you know that you are not wasting your time if you are looking for something more. Does that make sense??
Why do we want to know? So we know how to behave, what's reasonable to expect, etc. I got caught in this situation VERY recently.
New male friend calls every day, buys me gifts and even says he wants to take me on an expensive vacation. I'm pretty stunned but pleasantly so, I'll admit. So, I'm kind of wondering what his take on the relationship is and he immediately backs off and says he wants to take things slowly. WTH?! I'm not the one who wanted to go on an exotic vacation but I was the one being deliberate and cautious!
Women want to define a relationship because men are erratic oftentimes. They go full steam ahead on impulse then get scared or nervous or whatever and pull back. Often, they imply that it's the woman who was wanting something more so it's really OUR fault. Not so. We're just trying to make some sense of it all.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
"define a relationship"
