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Fat spouse who married a fat spouse - happy and content in their relationship because both are fat. If one starts to get skinny, the other doesnt like it (see the active thread on http://www.city-data.com/forum/relat...d-up-your.html ). Usually these folks, even they are happy in their relationships, usually try to make themselves feel better by saying how fat/obese people are somehow better than skinny people on the inside.
Skinny spouse who married skinny spouse - These folks are usually happy as well until one starts to get fat/obese. The skinny one usually tries to give hints to the one who is getting fat to take care of their health before serious issues arise, but if the person does not, they start to wonder why the skinny person no longer seem to have as much interest in them physically as they did before.
Skinny female spouse who marries fat/obese male spouse - Rare. Usually this is where the man is fat and wealthy (or has things of wealth) and the woman marries for his possessions and money. Or, if the man is not wealthy but he's still fat/obese, the skinny woman will usually be mule-faced.
Skinny male who marries fat/obese female - Another relationship that usually does well. That is, until the female dedicates herself to taking care of her health by exercising and losing weight. When that happens, she all of a sudden starts to realize/think that she could do better or starts think of all the fun she missed out on in life by being overweight then starts living a "sowing her oats" type of life. Female starts to get praise from friends and family on taking care of herself better and losing weight, and starts to really enjoy the attention that she's never gotten before in her life from males and develops an attitude.
I might also add that its ALWAYS 100% of the time, the fat/obese (or even anorexic/bulimic) woman (or formerly fat/obese/anorexic/bulimic woman) who gets upset about posts like this because it just hits too close to home to them and their emotions. If my wife says to me "you're getting fat" I dont get upset, I just take note of it and do something about it. It doesnt "hit close to home" with me. Just like an ex-girlfriend of mine who used say (in a sweet way like people talk to puppies) "Hey ugly" when she saw me. We both know that I was far from being ugly so I never got upset. I would just say "Awww" because I knew that she loved me.
Hmmm, your mostly wrong on your opinion but that is ok. Because I am a fat guy and I have no problem dating a skinny girl. I do have a problem dating an atheletic girl because she worked me so hard that i was almost always tired. She was INSANE. Not emotionally she just enjoyed to make me go on runs/walks with her. And I did them and that is why i think she is crazy. On top of that she had a six pack and was very tone and I wasn't. I wasn't flabby. The time I spent seeing her I lost 35IBS. But I've gained all that weight back and some more.
Oh, I get upset with my brother for calling me fat but he does so much more that gets to me. But I can't tell him anything because he says my opinion doens't matter. He treats me like dirt I am sure you would too if we met in real life. I also wanted to add that some skinny girls, their dads are fat so they are naturally attracted to fat men. But not too fat.
Recently many of my friends(some old some new) seem to be getting divorces. It seems that the lack of sex appears to be a big issue and a factor in the divorce. Three of four that are open about it say it is because the spouse got really fat and it became a turn off. Two guys and one girl asked me if they thought they were wrong for not wanting to be intimate with someone that heavy. I really didn't have an answer, thoughts?
How big is too big before you lose interest? 20 lb, 40 lb? Doesn't matter? Would you be considered shallow if your Spouse gained 100 lbs and you didn't want to indulge?
When it takes so much time to find it that we get out of the mood.
I love the curves on my wife, but I would love her just as much if they were gone. Wow, trying to comprehend the shallowness of some people who speak of divorcing their spouses because they gain a few pounds. I THANK GOD that my wife (who has gained and lost weight all our 32 years of marriage) doesn't feel that way about me or me about her. We took our vows of marriage for better or worse, sickness and health, till death do us part seriously. They mean something, not just empty words that fall on deaf ears. If my wife was in a wheelchair or burned and disfigured or stricken with some debilitating disease, she is still my wife and I will be there for her and I know she will be for me as well. I don't have to worry about something as superficial and petty as gaining 15lbs being the end of a 3-decade relationship. Some of those who have commented about self-respect, etc. seem to feel that it's derived strictly from the outward appearance. Well boys and girls I'm here to tell you that it goes deeper than some of you can apparently comprehend.
If you are a man and no longer attracted to your wife because she got fat and no longer has the sex appeal that she once had, it is hard to fake it, Mr happy is just will not work. Why bother?
(My husband about me when I got fat once)
Last edited by Weekend Traveler; 05-18-2009 at 09:41 AM..
I was drop dead gorgeous when I met my husband 30 years ago. I have since gained 150lbs. over about 15 years or so. Although he loves me, our sex life suffered and he is turned off to me physically. We did not have sex for 10 years because he was so turned off. I didn't lose weight and now have a disinterested husband who is attracted to someone else and may leave me because of this. It really sucks. Not an easy situation and unless you've been there you wouldn't understand. My heart is broken but I am now dieting strictly and pray I can lose a lot of weight.
I have a friend who's ex gained more than 100 lbs. Went from 125 to over 225. Gained some after a health issue (20 lbs), but she continued with unhealthy eating/exercisize habits, and I guess a loss of self esteem and kept going. She started blaming all her issues on him, until they got divorced. His life has only improved...dude weighs no more than 5 lbs more than high school.
Both my husband and I are both about 20 pounds overweight right now. I started gaining weight before we married. I lost my job (laid off) and took a desk job with a hefty salary cut. So I got a second job working eves and weekends to make up the difference. All that sitting at the computer, and being too exhausted to do anything about it really took a toll on my figure.
Now that my situation is better (thanks in large part to my ambitious husband) and I'm working more reasonable hours I am able to make time to get exercise and I eat better. But the weight is really coming off slowly. Very slowly.
Unfortunately I think in order to drop the weight and get back to my previous weight, it's going to take something more extreme. Exercising regularly and eating in moderation is not getting me any results. I probably need to be come a fanatic about it to get results.
Gee, I hope my husband doesn't boot me to the curb just yet!
A few pounds is one thing. You catch it you work on it. Problem solved. People tend to go through periods when they are married. As long as they are willing to make an effort its fine. But when they dont care and say " your supposed to love me no matter what" or " your shallow". Well fine ill love you but I will not have sex with you. Not that she has to look like a super model. Of course not. But I will never ever have sex with a obese woman no matter how many years we are married. If that makes me shallow so be it.
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