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Recently many of my friends(some old some new) seem to be getting divorces. It seems that the lack of sex appears to be a big issue and a factor in the divorce. Three of four that are open about it say it is because the spouse got really fat and it became a turn off. Two guys and one girl asked me if they thought they were wrong for not wanting to be intimate with someone that heavy. I really didn't have an answer, thoughts?
How big is too big before you lose interest? 20 lb, 40 lb? Doesn't matter? Would you be considered shallow if your Spouse gained 100 lbs and you didn't want to indulge?
My husband and I are both heavier now than when we met 14 years ago. People tend to naturally gain a little weight as they age. The thing is, I guess, that when you love someone physical appearance tends to become less important the longer you are together.
I'm sure that my husband would like for me to be the size 7 I was when we met in 1996. I don't think however, that he loves me any less even though I am about 40 pounds heaver than I was then.
Many women gain weight as a defense mechanism to push their husbands away. Once they get a divorce, they usually manage to get back into shape in record time.
My husband and I are both heavier now than when we met 14 years ago. People tend to naturally gain a little weight as they age. The thing is, I guess, that when you love someone physical appearance tends to become less important the longer you are together.
I'm sure that my husband would like for me to be the size 7 I was when we met in 1996. I don't think however, that he loves me any less even though I am about 40 pounds heaver than I was then.
My husband and I have both gained weight since we first met decades ago. We don't love each other any less for it.
Of course, the weight gain actually looks good on him.....Ah, men, you gotta love 'em.
Fat people are now lobbying for laws to prevent discriminating against them. I guess they don't see that being fat is a choice. When minorities, women, handicapped people, etc. have been discriminated against, they didn't have a choice in the matter. No one chooses to be in a wheelchair, for instance.
Ahh, Brave Ulysses.
Being someone who was once almost 500 lbs, I did not want special treatment, I just wanted to be treated like everyone else.
Discrimination is punishing someone for something they have no control over.
If someone is morbidly obese (aka fat) the problem is not in there mouths, it is in there minds.
Recently many of my friends(some old some new) seem to be getting divorces. It seems that the lack of sex appears to be a big issue and a factor in the divorce. Three of four that are open about it say it is because the spouse got really fat and it became a turn off. Two guys and one girl asked me if they thought they were wrong for not wanting to be intimate with someone that heavy. I really didn't have an answer, thoughts?
How big is too big before you lose interest? 20 lb, 40 lb? Doesn't matter? Would you be considered shallow if your Spouse gained 100 lbs and you didn't want to indulge?
It depends. Did you marry the person who was already fat or overweight? People want to stay with the person they fell in love with. If your spouse has bad habits and starts gaining weight right in front of the other spouse there are ways to reverse the situation. I sometimes I'm inclined to believe people make up excuses as opposed to just admit they fell out of love...
Maybe this sounds really horrible, but I had a partner that gained 80lbs and I felt suffocated during sex.
It wasn't even a physical attraction thing as much as it was a comfort thing. I could not stand having sex with him. So I can understand how someone who gained a lot of weight would not be someone you'd want to be intimate with and eventually end the relationship.
People want to stay with the person they fell in love with.
People who want to stay with the person they fell in love with shouldn't get married.
People change, that's basic human nature. The person I married almost 7 years ago is so different from the man I'm married to today, and in another 7 years I'm sure I'll be thinking the same exact thing. If you're truly committed and married to the right person then your love grows (even when you're struggling) while you both grow and change as well.
Right now I wouldn't trade the man I'm married to now for the younger version of himself that I married. His hairline wasn't receding, he was in shape, and he was super sexy but he was also young and immature. Now he's still super sexy (and he always will be, it's no longer just his looks that make him attractive to me) but he's also more mature and smarter.
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