Ever have great email and telephone conversations with someone, but can not talk in person?

[artsyguy]

You probably talked his ear off.

Another thing is that sometimes people will do a lot of 'listening' out of respect. Hello.

Originally Posted by oregonwana_b

Actually, something simular happened to me recently. I chatted with a guy for about a month. Gosh, he was so witty, great personality, charming, all these great qualities. Seemed talkative but not over talkative. I was thinking, wow, this could really go some where.We never spoke on the phone though, at his doing. That was kinda strange. I saw a picture but couldnt really tell anything by the pic, but at that point he was so great in "chatting" that I didnt care too much what he was going to look like. Finally we meet. He is probably one of the most handsome men I have ever met. But, nothing and I mean nothing like his chatting persona. Didn't say anything, only answered my questions. No more joking around, no wittiness, nothing. I even asked him if he was ok. Chalking it up to nerves, we go out one more time. But no, the person I met in chat was not the person before me. I asked him was I the same as in our chats as I am in person and he said yes. Anyway, I had to let it go, it wasn't going to work. Shoot and he was sooo cute.
I don't understand how such a big difference could be there.

[artsyguy]

I completely agree. Sitting down at a restaurant and having a deep intimate conversation so early in the dating process is like setting the hurdles way too high.

A walk at an upscale park, a drive to a concert, art gallery, museum, etc..is far better than a 'stare down' at a very noisy restaurant.

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

I think it is important to set up your first meeting someplace where there is something to do and talk about like an art gallery, museum, or perhaps even an amusement park, that way there is no pressure to come up with conversation while having a staring contest in a restuarant. I think dinner makes for a poor first date. Do something fun, that way if there is little to talk about there isn't such an awkward silence and need for forced conversation. Being in a gallery or museum also gives you something to talk about, you can discuss what you are observing.

[DennyCrane]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

I completely agree. Sitting down at a restaurant and having a deep intimate conversation so early in the dating process is like setting the hurdles way too high.

A walk at an upscale park, a drive to a concert, art gallery, museum, etc..is far better than a 'stare down' at a very noisy restaurant.

God forbid you actually spend time getting to know one another. Sitting down at a restaurant or coffee shop doesn't require having a deep intimate conversation. If you go in expecting that on a first meeting, then of course you'll come away being disappointed. But if I were meeting someone for the first time, I'd rather meet in that kind of setting. The suggestions you gave like an art gallery or museum are fun outings as part of a date, but they make it hard to actually get to know the other person. It's like asking someone to the movies. You both just sit there watching the movie.

[artsyguy]

Well what do you talk about at a coffee shop or restaurant?
A lot of times it is a stare down.

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

God forbid you actually spend time getting to know one another. Sitting down at a restaurant or coffee shop doesn't require having a deep intimate conversation. If you go in expecting that on a first meeting, then of course you'll come away being disappointed. But if I were meeting someone for the first time, I'd rather meet in that kind of setting. The suggestions you gave like an art gallery or museum are fun outings as part of a date, but they make it hard to actually get to know the other person. It's like asking someone to the movies. You both just sit there watching the movie.

[DennyCrane]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

Well what do you talk about at a coffee shop or restaurant?
A lot of times it is a stare down.

You talk about whatever both interests you. What do you usually talk about with someone when you're on a date?

[Ladywithafan]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

Well what do you talk about at a coffee shop or restaurant?
A lot of times it is a stare down.

My jdate first date was a freakin' coffee shop job interview, and I told him so. He's still searching for his 3rd Xwife.

[Tzaphkiel]

i hate talking on the phone
to anybody. ever (except my kids)

in person is fine. e-mail is fine. i just hate being on the phone.

so there are people i've gotten to know through e-mail for months and months, great conversations, but then when they want to talk on the phone i'll just say let's meet in person. Sometimes it works, sometimes it falls flat. I just skip the whole phone thing.

[ExPit]

I'm actually going through this right now with an old love. We've been communicating this way for months. Not a secret, not from my spouse anyway, but still frustrating. She's an old love, but I haven't seen her in twenty years! A lot of the rapport is there, you can feel those things, but it has now officially crossed over into the frustration zone. For me anyway, you can only get so close, even with someone you were once very close to, with only phone/email communication.

We're both married, and that is of course why we have kept it where it is, but at the same time I am now looking at the probability of breaking off all communication due to the frustration factor.