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Hi Boneheaded - I don't know the details of your situation (new to this) but it sounds like you two are still living together. If so, my advice would be to get your own place quickly - it would make things much easier and help drive home the fact that you're done (if you truly are). She's trying to hang on to you and if you really want to end it, make yourself less available to her. If you move, you will only have to see/talk to her when it concerns the kids.
I will have to second this one. Get your own place. no matter what her emotional state is: trying to hurt you, play you more, emotionally unstable, manic or whatever her reasons are for the way she acts and treats you and you business, it is not a healthy situation to stay in the same household.
My ex and I resided in the same house in Italy for a short time while we were legally seperated... it was a horrid mess to the extreme and we didn't have kids.
Once the seperation is legal have your (or hers) apartment ready ASAP.
Nooooooo, do not leave the house, especially since you have kids. I think that counts as abandonment. My uncle lived in the same house as his crazy wife during their divorce. She was MEAN, just trying to get him to leave. He wouldn't. She finally did, and he kept the house.
So most of you already know I am going through a nasty divorce. On friday we will be legally separated. She calls me on the way home.. early BTW, and says "What are we doing tonight?" I told her the kids are showered, home work is done, dinner will be ready when she gets here. After we eat with the boys I am going out so that she can have the house to herself. To be honest I am tired of fighting so I can't be around her.
She gets flipping mad and tells me "What you don't want to spend time with me?" Aaaahhh no. I don't thus the divorce. I swear she is mental. She started sobbing saying she will change she will do therapy. All of this after trying to ruin my business. After all the bitter crap spewed from her mouth.
Is mine the only one that flip flops back and for with the wind?
Is it just denial?
Since you've come to the decision it's over and taken the steps to make it legal she is beginning to feel less and less in control of the situation. And losing control makes her feel really panicked I bet. Expect more of the same until she gets a little more used to the situation. Oh, and also expect her to get much more nasty before it's all over with - they all do (the ones who didn't file for the divorce). You're in for a storm for sure, but eventually the sun comes out and the waters quiet down
I beg your pardon. Do not cast us all into the same net. I for one was ready for the dissolution and quietly accepted my papers and moved on.
Sorry, shouldn't have painted with such a broad brush stroke. I've just personally seen that happen too many times - the one who didn't file usually gets very angry before it's all said and done.
I apologize as well. Sensitive subject for me I guess. Sorry for interrupting your thread bone - it sounds like you may have a rough road ahead of you. I wish you well.
If he's the one that filed for divorce (it sounds like he did) why would he move out of his own house?
You misunderstood me; I'm simply advocating they not live together. By suggesting he get his own place doesn't mean he necessarily has to move out (his own place can be the house). If need be, she can move out; they just need to live apart. However, if the house is in both names, she may refuse to budge and in that case, he may want to move. He just needs to get away from her, IMO. I don't know if he filed or she filed (I stated I didn't know the details) but if two people are getting a divorce/separation, it's nearly impossible, even on the best of terms, to live together in peace. If he's divorcing her, they'll soon have separate places anyway - so why not do it now? It could save his sanity - plus, this tension could be adversely affecting the children.
Nooooooo, do not leave the house, especially since you have kids. I think that counts as abandonment. My uncle lived in the same house as his crazy wife during their divorce. She was MEAN, just trying to get him to leave. He wouldn't. She finally did, and he kept the house.
That depends on each individual state (abandonment) and I don't believe with a legal separation they would consider it that (as separated couples do not normally live together). Besides, if both names are on the mortgage, legally they each own 1/2 of it. Usually, one party buys out the other or the judge orders it sold with the proceeds split (and this can happen even if she isn't on the mortgage depending on the state).
When she wonders out loud if you dont want to spend time with her, remind her of how worthless she thinks you are and that she really wouldn't enjoy your company anyway.
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Sorry, shouldn't have painted with such a broad brush stroke. I've just personally seen that happen too many times - the one who didn't file usually gets very angry before it's all said and done.
