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Old 04-22-2009, 01:06 PM
 
Location: far away in Europe
109 posts, read 258,036 times
Reputation: 79

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Goes hand in hand with the other one I came across these days, don't make someone a priority, who only makes you an option.

Thought I'd share these 2, not as bearing a great deal of novelty, but because the choice of words makes them appear as unequivocal. (I'm always on the hunt for economical and inspired choice of words).

I've come to think that most of the times when we put the other one first we realize what we're doing, but we fail to see if it's not reciprocated. Sometimes when you're very much in love the most difficult part is just that, to realize, if so, that you are an option, not a priority.

For those of you who've come across that situation, please share a moment when you felt that difference.
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Old 04-22-2009, 01:10 PM
 
2,751 posts, read 4,710,125 times
Reputation: 1767
You're absolutely right. If a man is not there for you when you're down then he does not get to enjoy the best of you either. But the same of course could be said about a woman, a friend, a relative, etc., etc. It's the rare person who not only shows up in the down times, but sticks and sticks and will go down with the proverbial ship. That's friendship, that's love, that's family. But let's face it, most people are a lot better at taking than giving. Call it human nature.
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Old 04-22-2009, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
20,014 posts, read 20,509,618 times
Reputation: 20369
I like that crossing. Im going to add it to a couple I have on the fridge. Im getting out of bad marriage and have been dating, so I like to have these words of wisdom around to remind me not to make the same mistakes in future relationships.
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Old 04-22-2009, 02:01 PM
 
22,770 posts, read 25,186,842 times
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Why is this only a one way street?

Could we not also say that if a woman is not there for you at your worst, she does not deserve to be there when you're at your best?


YouTube - Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out - Dominos
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Old 04-22-2009, 02:09 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
16,469 posts, read 33,418,786 times
Reputation: 15197
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExPit View Post
You're absolutely right. If a man is not there for you when you're down then he does not get to enjoy the best of you either. But the same of course could be said about a woman, a friend, a relative, etc., etc. It's the rare person who not only shows up in the down times, but sticks and sticks and will go down with the proverbial ship. That's friendship, that's love, that's family. But let's face it, most people are a lot better at taking than giving. Call it human nature.
I think my mom used to talk about the real friends who will stick with you through thick and thin, and the other kind, the fairweather ones.
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Old 04-22-2009, 02:13 PM
 
2,751 posts, read 4,710,125 times
Reputation: 1767
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
I think my mom used to talk about the real friends who will stick with you through thick and thin, and the other kind, the fairweather ones.
More people take the low road for the same reason that more people take the easy way out. It's easier.
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Old 04-22-2009, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Orlando
8,181 posts, read 16,155,849 times
Reputation: 49730
The guy I dated before my now husband, wanted to be around only in the good times....
I went thru a period where, I was working non-stop, my grandmother was ill and it was up to me to help take care of her, my uncle had died and I was also helping to clear out his house...basically, it was a very trying time.

I was extremely stressed one night and tried to vent to him a bit....his response was to call him when I got my life straightened out!

I knew then, he wasn't the one.
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Old 04-22-2009, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh's 'EAST SIDE'
2,043 posts, read 4,398,816 times
Reputation: 2642
Well, I just ended an 8 month relationship with someone in November because he wasn't there for me when I was 'down'. I lost my ATM card, someone found it and decided to go have some fun! Wiped out my entire bank account. I had ZERO dollars to my name. He acted as if he didn't have a care in the world. Didn't ask if I needed anything or NATHIN'. Only thing he said was "that's messed up". Had to give dude the deuces after that... You never really know who is in your corner until a crisis hits.
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Old 04-22-2009, 02:46 PM
 
Location: Ohio
668 posts, read 1,844,537 times
Reputation: 806
When I was working, I was a Priority... The breadwinner of the family.

Now that I am Retired.. I am an Option... A disabled ball and chain on the Wife.

*sigh*

May the LORD Bless each of you.

I wish you well...

Jesse
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Old 04-22-2009, 02:51 PM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,224,396 times
Reputation: 7511
If a man is not there for you at your worst, he does not deserve to see you at your best.

The only exception I would make to this is if your worst hurts him. Suppose you cheat on him or lie to him or just treat him like dirt. If he's not there for you during those times, does that mean he doesn't deserve you? Sounds like he's better off without you.

Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

This one I definitely agree with. Too many people take the other person for granted, always assuming that person will be there in case things don't work out with someone else. I've experienced this firsthand and it's a lousy feeling. Sometimes you realize it immediately. Other times you don't see it until it's far too late. Love can blind you to what other people think is obvious, which is why you need to periodically turn to people who can be more objective. If your friends think your partner is neglecting you, they'll make sure to tell you.
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