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My SO is 40 and we live together. Before I moved in, his mother always had an extra key "just in case he lost his keys or if there was an emergency". ( These are his words!)
Fast forward to me living with him now. I want him to get the keys from his mother. This is for privacy reasons. She has opened the door without knocking twice. That is, she came over to where we live & opened the door ...used her keys to let herself in...no knock, no prior phonecall ...nothing!
Once she even just opened the door to where we live without knocking & found me Moderator cut: .. . You would think my SO would of gotten the keys back after that incident.
The house belongs to my SO as I do not contribute financially ( not working and also pregnant).
I feel like these people (him and his mother) are disrespecting me because it is "his" house not "our" house since he pays the mortage & I don't. We are not legally married. Living together & expecting a child.
So I want him to get the spare key from his mother as I'm not comfortable with another woman having the keys to where I live. He feels that since I'm pregnant for the first time I might need his mother to have the keys in case of "pregnancy emergencies". My take is that if there is an emergency I'll call 911.
I said lets compromise & have a spare set of keys in a safety deposit box @ the bank not with his mother. He refuses.
Am I wrong for wanting the keys back? If I lose my keys my SO has the keys & vice versa so I feel we dont need third parties aka his mother keeping a spare key.
I'm so mad. Please help. I feel like choking him right now
Thanks
Last edited by Keeper; 04-24-2009 at 05:37 AM..
Reason: not pg13
My SO is 40 and we live together. Before I moved in, his mother always had an extra key "just in case he lost his keys or if there was an emergency". ( These are his words!)
Fast forward to me living with him now. I want him to get the keys from his mother. This is for privacy reasons. She has opened the door without knocking twice. That is, she came over to where we live & opened the door ...used her keys to let herself in...no knock, no prior phonecall ...nothing!
Once she even just opened the door to where we live without knocking & found me playing with myself. You would think my SO would of gotten the keys back after that incident.
The house belongs to my SO as I do not contribute financially ( not working and also pregnant).
I feel like these people (him and his mother) are disrespecting me because it is "his" house not "our" house since he pays the mortage & I don't. We are not legally married. Living together & expecting a child.
So I want him to get the spare key from his mother as I'm not comfortable with another woman having the keys to where I live. He feels that since I'm pregnant for the first time I might need his mother to have the keys in case of "pregnancy emergencies". My take is that if there is an emergency I'll call 911.
I said lets compromise & have a spare set of keys in a safety deposit box @ the bank not with his mother. He refuses.
Am I wrong for wanting the keys back? If I lose my keys my SO has the keys & vice versa so I feel we dont need third parties aka his mother keeping a spare key.
I'm so mad. Please help. I feel like choking him right now
Thanks
Run away like hell, and file for child support from him. It would get worse once your child is born.
It's his house - he makes the rules. If you don't like it, move out now in time to set yourself up in your own place before the baby arrives, and then you can give a key to whoever you want.
I don't see a big deal with letting his mom have a set of keys, but he should tell her to stop coming by unannounced. You'd think once she caught you in flagrante, she wouldn't be so hasty to barge in.
Last edited by JustJulia; 04-22-2009 at 04:15 PM..
Reason: Typo! All this time I thought it was "en flagrante."
I don't see a big deal with letting his mom have a set of keys, but he should tell her to stop coming by unannounced. You'd think once she caught you en flagrante, she wouldn't be so hasty to barge in.
Thanks Julia. That's what he says too. This guy is Dutch & where I come from grown people keep their own keys. The whole idea of a 40year old having his mum keep his spare keys is so foreign & childish to me.
Thanks Julia. That's what he says too. This guy is Dutch & where I come from grown people keep their own keys. The whole idea of a 40year old having his mum keep his spare keys is so foreign & childish to me.
Heh, I have my parents' key and my grandparents' key, and I'm pretty sure my mom has one of mine. Or she did before we moved out of state. We're Swedish ... maybe it is a cultural thing. Don't lock yourself out: you'll freeze to death!
My in-laws used to stop by and walk in. We just asked them to call first.
My SO is 40 and we live together. Before I moved in, his mother always had an extra key "just in case he lost his keys or if there was an emergency". ( These are his words!)
Fast forward to me living with him now. I want him to get the keys from his mother. This is for privacy reasons. She has opened the door without knocking twice. That is, she came over to where we live & opened the door ...used her keys to let herself in...no knock, no prior phonecall ...nothing!
Once she even just opened the door to where we live without knocking & found me playing with myself. You would think my SO would of gotten the keys back after that incident.
The house belongs to my SO as I do not contribute financially ( not working and also pregnant).
I feel like these people (him and his mother) are disrespecting me because it is "his" house not "our" house since he pays the mortage & I don't. We are not legally married. Living together & expecting a child.
So I want him to get the spare key from his mother as I'm not comfortable with another woman having the keys to where I live. He feels that since I'm pregnant for the first time I might need his mother to have the keys in case of "pregnancy emergencies". My take is that if there is an emergency I'll call 911.
I said lets compromise & have a spare set of keys in a safety deposit box @ the bank not with his mother. He refuses.
Am I wrong for wanting the keys back? If I lose my keys my SO has the keys & vice versa so I feel we dont need third parties aka his mother keeping a spare key.
I'm so mad. Please help. I feel like choking him right now
Yikes. It is time for your SO to grow up. His mother should not have an extra set of keys, especially now that you are living with him. You can always keep an extra set hidden, in the car, in your purse, etc. I don't care what culture he is from, he is 40 and has a woman living with him and it is time the keys are taken from mom nicely.
Yeah....(clears throat) I was gonna say that ya` all need to be doing something in there one day, that would surprise her, but ah.....masturbating should be enough! She still don`t get it!
One time, my ex mother in law just walked in to my husbands house, until one day, she walked in to a group of 5, smoking a big ol` joint!
She entered, smelled, looked, said,"OH MY!!" And then, quietly closed the door, and walked out.
Or he needs to step up to the plate and tell mom that she is to call first, knock and ring the doorbell EVERY TIME she plans a visit. I doubt mom would want someone barging in on her privacy. Since mom obviously lacks common sense, her son needs to tell her to comply, or he takes the keys away from her.
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( These are his words!)
You would think my SO would of gotten the keys back after that incident.
I was gonna say that ya` all need to be doing something in there one day, that would surprise her, but ah.....masturbating should be enough! 
She still don`t get it! 
