Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Is it easy to appreciate the little things in your relationship? Do you do it automatically, or do you have to make a conscious effort to do so? These are just some thoughts that have been on my mind lately. Nothing really profound, I suppose; but I can't help but wonder if this is why so many marriages struggle these days.
I try to appreciate the little things, but sometimes it takes effort. As humans we are all flawed, and sometimes it is easier to be dissatisfied with circumstances in life or even with something within your relationship than it is to be thankful and show your partner the appreciation he/she deserves. I think that a lot of people are quick to define their daily life with the things that went wrong than the things that went right.
Sometimes we just live for the big moments in life. But not every night is a date night, and not every day can be a trip to Disneyland. We all love the big moments in our lives with our wife/husband/SO, but those moments are not necessarily going to keep a relationship going. So the little routine things become very important. Lately I've been on a bit of a quest to better myself at this sort of thing. I'm talking about every day routine things that seem unimportant, but truly are not. Stuff like my wife making me a lunch the night before I go to work, or me doing my part around the house, like cleaning the kitchen or making dinner. It's taking the time to talk to each other, even if the subject is benign or routine. Letting her pick what we are going to watch. Not always voicing my opinion when it is not solicited (this one goes hand in hand with letting her pick what to watch). It's also about recognizing small things that we do for each other and showing our appreciation for them. That can be as simple as a "thank you" or as big as reciprocating with another act.
By no means am I claiming to have this down. I am simply sharing some thoughts and seeing if others out there have anything to add. I don't think that I am introducing anything ground breaking or original here, but I have not seen a discussion like this here in quite a while and solicit your thoughts. Are little things important? Do you agree or disagree that it could be a reason why so many marriages struggle?
PS: I think a lot of these ideas are transferable to our kids as well, but that is more a conversation for the parenting forum.
Years ago i got into the habit of leaving little love notes around for my beloved wife, letting her know how much she meant to me. I put notes in places like on her pillow, by her coffee cup, on her chair, by her makeup, by her silverware, in her lunch bag, in her car......
I do everything and I mean everything for my SO. Right now, I'm not working and she has a pretty stressful job as a nurse where people are constantly hitting the call button for any and everything. The last thing she needs after a hard night of that is to come home and wait on me or the kids. I really do spoil her rotten...not because she demands it or even thinks she deserves it, but I think she deserves it.
Years ago i got into the habit of leaving little love notes around for my beloved wife, letting her know how much she meant to me. I put notes in places like on her pillow, by her coffee cup, on her chair, by her makeup, by her silverware, in her lunch bag, in her car......
Stuff like this is easy to do and pays big dividends. It's easy to leave a note, and what's really important is the thought behind it.
She knows I appreciate a nice cup of green tea. I didn't even ask, but she ordered me some really awesome green tea on the internet. She makes me a cup here and there while I'm working at home. Always at the perfect time
Small gesture sure, but that kind of stuff goes a long way with me.
I love this thread. It's such a positive thread! So many people need to read it and take the wisdom from it.
Years ago, when my kids were little, there was a story on the news about a mom who had said goodbye to her child that morning and that child was killed in a car accident (or some other horrible event) the same day. I remember her crying and saying that she had said goodbye, but said it like she always did, like they would see each other again. After that, I always said goodbye to my children and make sure they knew that I said it with feeling. I think that (and the speed at which the kids grew up!) is what started me really appreciating the little things.
When I was living with my SO (who I recently split up with), I would make a point to snuggle to him before getting out of bed. I always told him, "Please" and "Thank you", because I feel that manners shouldn't go away, simply because you're comfortable with someone. I would just look at him sometimes, and when he'd catch me and ask me why I was looking at him, I'd tell him that I was "savoring" him (meaning taking him in so I could remember him just that way).
I still feel like that the house we're living in is hers not ours. She reminds me in the sweetest voice that this place belongs to the both of us. She always follows by "it will always be ours" Make's me feel good about moving forward with her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
