When is it safe to 'make the first move'/get physical with a girl? (dating, women)
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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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I know signals can be misread, you might think she's really into you when she's not, so if you meet a woman who thinks might like you, but who isn't initiating anything, how do you know when it's okay to 'get physical' so to speak?
Obviously, this is coming from somebody who hasn't even crossed that line. Not in a 'natural context', at least.
A question for the blokes out there, with all this talk about sexual harassment, are you ever afraid that you'll be accused of molestation or even worse?
Say you meet an attractive girl at a party. You get along great, make a lot of eye contact, a lot of smiling, you feel something strong, and you think she might be digging you. Are there any definitive signals that tell you it's okay to proceed? i.e. kiss her, touch her in certain areas (lol I sound like a teenage pervert, I don't mean even fondle her breasts (although there's a point when that comes in), but even intimate touching like stroking her hair or something corny like that). I mean it just sounds kind of dorky and awkward to actually ask 'can I kiss you' or 'can I feel you up'. Not that I'm really into feeling up women I just meet. But what if say you go on a few dates and you're feeling something, but she just doesn't do something, cos she's too shy.
I guess sometimes it's hard to know how much she's into you and how open she is to getting physical, even light petting or something, in the early stages.
I've met a few girls I thought I've clicked with but when the thought of taking things to the next level I'm pretty much paralyzed by fear because I'm afraid she'll think I'm crossing the line/molesting her or something. I assume she probably doesn't like me, but if I don't do anything I could be waiting for ever.
Sometimes I think courtship is a lot simpler in the animal world. I mean the idea of 'wham bam thankyou mam' doesn't appeal to me *****, but I would think the fear of doing something wrong is very real.
I assume women don't have this problem as much because if a girl came onto them most guys would either like it or, if he wasn't into her, politely say no thankyou, whereas there are women who would kick up a storm if you pinched their ass or something like that .
The safest way is to wait until she gives you signals. She will give you clear signals. If she's shy, it may take her more time to get to that, but she will. If you think you've been with her long enough and she seems shy, and you've waited, and still no clear signals, if you haven't already, you start by taking her hand while you're walking together. If that goes over well, at a later date you progress to putting your arm around her when you're sitting on a sofa or watching a move in the theater. At some point around that time, she should start giving you signals, like snuggling closer, or something--taking your arm when you walk together, anything. Maybe you put your arm around her when you're walking together, and she responds by putting hers around your waist. This sounds so old-fashioned, but some women really like that gradual approach. (Very romantic!) You sound like a gentleman. Anyway, as this progresses, she'll either get "touchier" with you, or you can go for a kiss. How she responds to that will tell you whether the light is green to continue, or not.
Meeting a girl at a party and already getting kissy/touchy with her? idk. Maybe some girls, some parties. If a woman at a party seems into you, take her hand. If she's into you, and into getting kissy/touchy, she'll stand closer to you when you do that, she'll sort of close in on you. Then you find a quiet corner to sit together and talk. And ... whatever. Go with the flow.
When is it safe to 'make the first move'/get physical with a girl?
It is never "safe". However, if you fancy yourself as the highly desirable type, why wait. She'll blame herself for what would get an average man arrested.
It is never "safe". However, if you fancy yourself as the highly desirable type, why wait. She'll blame herself for what would get an average man arrested.
He said "get physical" with her, "touch her in certain areas", he didn't say "commit a crime" on her person.
Smooth Moves: Put your arm around her slide down which seems accidently to touch side boobage.
This can work while dancing on the back too.
Another good move pretending there is something wrong with your key then plant a kiss on her.
And a great one is whispering in her ear something real low so she turns and says "what" then plant a kiss.
C'mon trim....lot's of creative ways. Pretending to help her swing a bat. Wrapping your arms around hers. Very many.
I think it depends on the woman. I don't like a guy to make any moves on me on the first date. A hello and goodbye hug is okay. Putting his hand on my back while we're walking or other light touching is okay...but otherwise I expect gentlemanly behavior on the first date. By the second date though he better kiss me...absolutely by the third date he better kiss me. Third date and no kiss...see ya. I feel for guys that it can be tough knowing if it's okay to make a move or not and I try to give clear signals that I'm okay with him doing so. Putting my hand on his arm, sitting close to him, lots and lots of eye contact. I try to make it as obvious as I can that I really want him to make a move. As far as the other stuff...that comes in time. I prefer to be exclusively dating someone for at least a few weeks before I get intimate with them and given some of my experiences recently I'm up'ing my time requirement!
Smooth Moves: Put your arm around her slide down which seems accidently to touch side boobage.
This can work while dancing on the back too.
Another good move pretending there is something wrong with your key then plant a kiss on her.
And a great one is whispering in her ear something real low so she turns and says "what" then plant a kiss.
C'mon trim....lot's of creative ways. Pretending to help her swing a bat. Wrapping your arms around hers. Very many.
EEWW!! Creep move! Only do this if she's given you major signals! We're not in highschool anymore! But I see the topic is more about what to do when someone's digging you at a party, not general dating strategies. I'd still start more gradually if I were you, and if she's receptive, you can accelerate the pace.
EEWW!! Creep move! Only do this if she's given you major signals! We're not in highschool anymore! But I see the topic is more about what to do when someone's digging you at a party, not general dating strategies. I'd still start more gradually if I were you, and if she's receptive, you can accelerate the pace.
What if you like him, but made the mistake of thinking he's a nice guy, then suddenly he goes for your boob in a fake "accidental" move? These things must depend in part on how much alcohol the woman has imbibed, or something...
...I think the touching side boobage should wait after he gets to know the girl better because even if she does like him and is attracted to him, she may not want to be touched in certain areas. Leave the obvious erogenous zones for the ONS or after a couple of dates.
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