Older men - Younger women (personality, daughter, mature, friendship)

[Wisteria]

I haven't lived in another country, but as a female, it is very creepy when you are young and have some older (even 10 years or more older) guy coming on to you, or "stalking" you around in stores, on the streets, etc. I had that happen a lot to me when I was young, and I don't think that it's a thing about "acceptance" of older men/younger women.

Younger women just are not attracted to older guys!! It's very simple. Why in the world would a twenty-something, cute, smart, shapely young lady be attracted to some guy in his 40s or 50s??? It is truly beyond my comprehension. Unless, of course, he's got lots of money.

I think it's the American advertising that has made men think these airbrushed women are "real." They can't seem to understand that they are aging, and so are women. They're kind of in a time warp.

The whole thing was really creepy to me. And I feel bad for my friend who is hung up on young women because he'll never have a girlfriend again. He said that young women have less "baggage," but in reality, women his age will be a whole lot less prone to being hysterical, and crying, and all the weird stuff women go through when they're younger. They may have some baggage, but they know how to carry it.

I'll bet if you look at other countries, the young ones who are with old guys are those who were in arranged marriages, were "bought" by someone, or they married them for the money. To guys viewing this from the outside and seeing old guys with young girls, they might think that the girl was actually attracted to him -- where, I have a hunch, it was because she was pretty much forced by circumstances or custom to marry or be with him.

I don't know of any woman I've ever known who has said "I love older men," (unless by "older" they meant 5 years or something like that). NONE of my women friends ever were attracted to old guys -- none. In fact, other friends of mine who were also very attractive when a young twenty-something, also were creeped out by older guys coming onto them. And you had to be very careful in what you said and how you said it to them to keep them away.

Anyway, that's my take on it -- I'll have to think more about it. But take it from at least American women -- in my opinion, most of us are not attracted to old guys (especially if the old guys are not our old age), and that's just how it is. Guys live in some weird Playboy fantasy world of wanting these beautiful women. Hugh Heffner only got some because he was supporting them in some fancy style and lavished money and objects on them -- plus, he probably had a few at a time, so they weren't stuck with him for the whole time.

Really, just think about it logically -- if a pretty twenty or thirty-something woman has her pick of a handsome young guy her own age, and HE is into her, do you really think she'd pick some old guy who is twice her age, especially if he's not a multi-millionaire or can help her in some other way???

Let's hear more from the young women and what they think. How do you feel about a guy 10, 15, 20, 25 and more years old coming onto you??

Thanks!

[Rance]

Good point Wisteria, but do you think it may be possible...and may even happen on ocassion...that a younger woman "is" attracted to an older guy? I myself have never been anywhere other than Canada...but I wonder if women in other countries feel any differently than American women on this subject.

[Wisteria]

Okay, Rance, sometimes a young woman will have a male friend who IS older. I did when I lived in Colorado. He was a guy (who actually was married) and I liked his wife and kids. Unfortunately, he liked me for more than a friend, and I ONLY liked him as a friend. I found him interesting and intelligent, but I was NOT sexually attracted to him. I was very uncomfortable when he would talk about sexual things, or about an ex-girlfriend and just weird stuff that was inappropriate for a guy older to talk to a younger woman about. Now, mind you, I wasn't even that young then, but he was 13 years older than me, and to me that was a lot. I DID genuinely like him as a friend, and I had to several times repeat myself to him that I ONLY liked him as a friend. So, YES, I do believe that younger women and older men can be friends.

And maybe occasionally a young woman really IS attracted to an older guy for whatever reason....but I do think that is much more unusual, and older guys should not think that each time a young lady just smiles normally that they are smiling enticingly at them.

If you look around, you'll notice that most people are with people their own age -- especially young people. The advantage of being with someone around your own age is that you share a social and historical history. I have a friend who married a woman 7 years younger than he. He said he never should have done that (they had two kids and were divorced -- he was from the hippie generation that was really quite different from other generations either before or after), because they were just too different in values and perceptions.

And, yes, I know some people do fall in love with older people -- both older men and younger women, and younger men and older women. I actually DID know a couple where the guy was about 30 years younger than the woman -- and she actually looked like a grandmother with white hair and all -- but they had been together for 7 years at that point!! I know we all were confused at what it was all about, but we had to admit something was working or they wouldn't have been together for that long. I'm just saying that I think it is more typical to be with someone closer to your own age. IMHO

I'm going to put another experience on a different post, just because it's a story by itself.

[vpcats]

Originally Posted by Wisteria

I haven't lived in another country, but as a female, it is very creepy when you are young and have some older (even 10 years or more older) guy coming on to you, or "stalking" you around in stores, on the streets, etc. I had that happen a lot to me when I was young, and I don't think that it's a thing about "acceptance" of older men/younger women.

Younger women just are not attracted to older guys!! It's very simple. Why in the world would a twenty-something, cute, smart, shapely young lady be attracted to some guy in his 40s or 50s??? It is truly beyond my comprehension. Unless, of course, he's got lots of money.

I think it's the American advertising that has made men think these airbrushed women are "real." They can't seem to understand that they are aging, and so are women. They're kind of in a time warp.

The whole thing was really creepy to me. And I feel bad for my friend who is hung up on young women because he'll never have a girlfriend again. He said that young women have less "baggage," but in reality, women his age will be a whole lot less prone to being hysterical, and crying, and all the weird stuff women go through when they're younger. They may have some baggage, but they know how to carry it.

I'll bet if you look at other countries, the young ones who are with old guys are those who were in arranged marriages, were "bought" by someone, or they married them for the money. To guys viewing this from the outside and seeing old guys with young girls, they might think that the girl was actually attracted to him -- where, I have a hunch, it was because she was pretty much forced by circumstances or custom to marry or be with him.

I don't know of any woman I've ever known who has said "I love older men," (unless by "older" they meant 5 years or something like that). NONE of my women friends ever were attracted to old guys -- none. In fact, other friends of mine who were also very attractive when a young twenty-something, also were creeped out by older guys coming onto them. And you had to be very careful in what you said and how you said it to them to keep them away.

Anyway, that's my take on it -- I'll have to think more about it. But take it from at least American women -- in my opinion, most of us are not attracted to old guys (especially if the old guys are not our old age), and that's just how it is. Guys live in some weird Playboy fantasy world of wanting these beautiful women. Hugh Heffner only got some because he was supporting them in some fancy style and lavished money and objects on them -- plus, he probably had a few at a time, so they weren't stuck with him for the whole time.

Really, just think about it logically -- if a pretty twenty or thirty-something woman has her pick of a handsome young guy her own age, and HE is into her, do you really think she'd pick some old guy who is twice her age, especially if he's not a multi-millionaire or can help her in some other way???

Let's hear more from the young women and what they think. How do you feel about a guy 10, 15, 20, 25 and more years old coming onto you??

Thanks!

I, personally, am not attracted to much older men. Not now, not when I was young and restless. The reverse happens to me and I usually end up with younger ones.

My mother, however, was married to my stepfather who was 20 years her senior, for 40 years, until he passed away a few years ago. The relationship was not based on money whatsoever.

[Anigirli]

Western parts of Europe has a completely different atittude. I lived there and the male-to-female dynamics are different in a refreshing way. It's an older culture so that has something to do with it. Yet no place is an utopia. Everyplace has their good and bad points.

[Wisteria]

Okay, so here is what happened to me in my early thirties. There was this guy in his 60s who was interested in me. I didn't realize that he was interested in THAT way (after all, I wasn't attracted to him, and I figured he knew that).

We attended a common organization, and we got to talking afterwards, and we lived near each other, and I made the mistake of asking him in for tea. He wanted to know if I would give him a foot massage, because the organization was about holistic health. So, I agreed I'd give him a foot massage.

Now, remember, this guy was in his 60s -- 30 years older than me. So, I told him I was going to the kitchen to make the tea. When I returned about 10 minutes later, there he was on my living room floor....and I swear this is true....TOTALLY NAKED!!!

I was freaked!!

I shouted at him: "I was only going to give you a FOOT massage!!" He said, "But I want to be comfortable....."

I was pretty distraught, but I tried to keep my cool, and I started to give him this "foot massage," but he, of course, wanted more...... I waivered between trying to be polite and trying to stay out of his grasp.

Fortunately, God came out of the Heavens and this guy suddenly remembered that he had to get to the train station to pick someone up! He jumped up -- naked and "dangling" and called the train station. The train was late, but he had to go.....Oh, poor thing.....had to get dressed.

Anyway, I sweated through that one. I never put myself in that situation again. Was that one weird night!!!!

[Anigirli]

I agree with you Wisteria I also get freaked out if a really old gentleman starts to eye me. When a 60-something year old gentleman starts up a conversation with me with that attention it freaks me out. It would like dating my grandpapi. Ewwlll. Very on-pointe with what you wrote Wisteria.

[Ronzou]

Originally Posted by Anigirli

I agree with you Wisteria I also get freaked out if a really old gentleman starts to eye me. When a 60-something year old gentleman starts up a conversation with me with that attention it freaks me out. It would like dating my grandpapi. Ewwlll. Very on-pointe with what you wrote Wisteria.

What about younger dudes? I'm 21! =P

I'm just playing! =)

But being a dude, it really bothers me when old farts take the shots I have at a gal. It's like, come on now, I have a hard enough time getting a girl, you're trying to take the little chances I have left!

[Wisteria]

Ronsou: But being a dude, it really bothers me when old farts take the shots I have at a gal. It's like, come on now, I have a hard enough time getting a girl, you're trying to take the little chances I have left!

Well, this is good that you're reading this and learning -- see, most women like guys their own age! Lucky you!!

[Ronzou]

Originally Posted by Wisteria

Well, this is good that you're reading this and learning -- see, most women like guys their own age! Lucky you!!

They might go for men their own age, but everyone seems to make exceptions to me. I'm that one exception that a gal wouldn't go for unless she HAD to have someone to be with. Haha!