Older men - Younger women (marry, singles, gay, children)

[Rapture]

Cosmic - The way I'm understanding your point of view explains why people fit better that are closer in age. (original topic) Although there are exceptions and people shouldn't have the preset standard rules because that does eliminates a lot of people that could be a match for them.

[Wisteria]

Rapture: Cosmic - The way I'm understanding your point of view explains why people fit better that are closer in age. (original topic) Although there are exceptions and people shouldn't have the preset standard rules because that does eliminates a lot of people that could be a match for them.

Agreed!

[Cosmic]

Originally Posted by Rance

Ok...so I'm 46...and I have this bad crush on a very nice lady that is 25. Is that bad?

You are well within the range that she is giving up little in terms of a mate and having the ability to live a normal family type life if that is desired.

One half + seven rule would put her ideal age at 30 but I would wink at it and say within the same decade if rounded off. Plus being Alaska got to figure the babe quotient factor. Do what you have too.

The older man actually has an advantage in an unfair fight if he has had his crap neatly in one bag. Probably why a number of societies figured out that one half rule.

You appear to have the toys to get her attention. Charm and toys with a truly good heart and need. Got to be a winner. Just don't get lazy after getting out of the blocks.

[Rapture]

I just thought of something realted but I don't want to hyjack this thread, so I'll start a new one...somewhat age related.

[Rance]

Cosmic at this point I don't think either of us are looking for mates. I just really enjoy her company. And I've never been the type to try and impress a lady with toys or money. Sure I do very well for myself...but you'd never know it by meeting me on the street. I wear 501's, t-shirts, and a worn out pair of scruffy boots normally. I live in a small 2 bedroom house. And although I have 4 vehicles to drive...the oldest is 1923 and the newest is 1991. I live a very quiet and simple life. I won't risk blowing the current relationship we have...by trying to take it to any other level. We are great friends...not lovers...and there is nothing finer than a true friend. We do have a pretty good age difference, but it's not an issue to me or her.

[Cosmic]

Originally Posted by Rance

Cosmic at this point I don't think either of us are looking for mates. I just really enjoy her company.

Go for it.... Remember that thing about the Pilgrims. Speak for yourself John. There is a story there. The thing about never hiding the light under a bushel.

Man, if you have the interest, make it happen. About like trying to get to Oil City. BTW - I suspect I may make landfall. Rotate the antenna, read the radar. Get my drift.

PPI showing clear harbor.

[plaidmom]

Ok...so I'm 46...and I have this bad crush on a very nice lady that is 25. Is that bad?

Just wanted to say...it's only "bad" if you would not be ok should the roles be reversed (i.e. you're a F and "she's" a M )

In other words...what everyone else said. It's more about the heart and soul than the chronological age (statutory laws excepted of course).

Clocks schmlocks.

[tasmtairy]

Younger men have always been attracted to me and I have always been with younger men, maybe because I have always looked younger. However, now that I am 54, I no longer feel comfortable with seriously younger men, 10-15 years or more. I have been having a phone relationship with a man of 39. We are best friends but after several broken promises about moving out here I have decided to let go. The age difference is tremendous right now. Just the fact that I have been on this earth so much longer and have so much more life experience makes the age difference bigger. When you are older and single, independence makes a great deal of difference. I am not willing to compromise as much. I went out with someone my age and he left a 1.00 tip on a 25.00+ tab and I was mortified. In NC the pickings are slim. I went back to the restaurant and gave the waitress 5.00. Younger men have energy and stamina, older men have life experience. I am having trouble finding someone who is on my level. Age is just a number, true, but I am not willing to be a teacher. Now, at my age, I need someone who is already there...
I don't get older men with younger women. The physical stuff will wear off. My daughter is 31 and her boyfriend is 25 and because of his upbringing, big family, good work ethics and so on, makes this relationship worthwile for her without feeling like she is a babysitter. Everything is dependent on your own self-esteem, intelligence, and desires. Age doesn't matter if you are both on the same page.

[Cosmic]

Originally Posted by Wisteria

Okay, I'm game. How about the rest of you?? I'm sticking my neck out -- please don't chop it off!!

1: Nightowl or early bird: Nightowl here!! I wish I wasn't a nightowl because it seems that the rest of the world functions at a much earlier level. Nightowl behavior seems to be inherited from my mom, and all 4 of us sisters have the same habit -- my dad was a real early bird and we never understood him in that way. My daughter, also inherited the nightowl gene, as my ex was one, too. She even has been checking into colleges that have NIGHT classes because she feels she is more alert at night!! She does not want those 8 a.m. classes!

2: Independent loner-type, but likes to be in social situations when I choose to be. It has been a problem with men who wanted to always be there -- and would not respect my need to have my own space when I needed it. I remember one guy who would literally drive to my house and sit in front of it before I even got home from work! Oh, my gosh, that was too invasive! And he couldn't understand it, he kept saying: "I thought women wanted men to always be there." And then he even went to counseling for it and the counselor even told him to give me my space and that he was suffocating me! (true) I don't want a magnet, I want a friend/lover/companion who understands we are not joined at the hip! Freedom-loving Sagittarius!

3. Money. Oh dear, my big bugaboo. I have not been good at making money. Too many years of moving around and not staying in one place. I'm at a secure job now, and it's been hard to stay, but I've done it -- almost ten years now! A small pension will finally be attained! Then again, I am very good at budgeting, I'm not a spend-thrift, I find many cheap/free things to do that I enjoy, and I'm easily pleased with little things -- thus, my material needs are less than many women I know.

4. Since I don't have a Significant Other right now, I don't know. But ideally, I'd agree those are important features.

5. Tolerance/sharing. Hmmmmm, a little too tolerant in some ways because it's gotten me in some bad fixes. Now I have learned to be more critical of things, but I think I'm pretty good at sharing. It depends on the person -- with some people I am not very tolerant about certain aspects -- such as if someone uses really bad grammar, I cringe and can be like HIF (! ) and correct them! I can't help it, it's something that just gets to me. I'm not good with stingy people because I find that very unappealing, and I'm not materialistic anyway, so if they're stingy by my definitions, they're stingy! Tolerance is subjective depending on the situation. If I blend well with someone, it might be said I am very tolerant, if I don't, I might be considered intolerant -- compatibility vs. noncompatibility.

6. Oh dear - control. I guess that is somewhat of a downfall. Again, I think it depends on the person I'm with. I do think of myself as quite competent and intelligent, so I tend to see the "big picture" when others don't. Because I am very logical and analytical in assessing situations, I think I tend to get to the "answer" quickly, and I find it frustrating to hear over and over again from a partner a more incompetent way just because they want their own way or feel I'm challenging them. (Men sometimes don't like a tiny woman being smarter than they are or more competent, I've found -- maybe it's just me.... )

7. Values: honesty, integrity, generosity, independence, intelligence, kindness, HUMOR, open mind....those are the basics. I tend to be very empathetic, so unfortunately I pick up feelings from people around me. If a person is down and depressed, I'll be that way; if they want to pick a fight, I'm not one to let someone stomp all over me!; if they are upbeat and funny, I'm a great audience, and will laugh and laugh. So, I prefer a funny, smart, kind person, overall.

8. I don't know what a pre-set standard rule is!!

9. I'm a leader and a follower. I like to lead if I know I know the lay of the land, but I'm willing to follow the expert. I recognize that some people are better at some things, and others at other things.

10. Personal characteristics, weaks and strengths: gosh that's a pretty big category!! A little too big to get into here. You can figure out some from the above. I am NOT perfect --- News alert -- I AM NOT PERFECT!!

I tend to have a stressful life, however, I am aiming toward de-stressing it! I plan to sell my house (when the market gets better) and relocate to a place that I have a very small payment or none. I want to retire (I work too hard), and I want to relax. I think I deserve that after many years of working hard for others (and I don't mean employers), raising a great kid (my contribution to society, which I take very seriously as a mother), and I'm a much happier person with less stress -- then I can laugh a lot!! Comedians: I am a terrific audience to have (my friends who are quite funny will readily agree -- they love having a ready audience in me!).

Okay, anyone else want to venture to answer these questions? I've noticed that many of you are already happily married, so maybe you have these figured out already -- good for you. I'm intelligent, but not very smart in these things -- it's taken me a long time to figure all this out. But I've had an interesting life, been a lot of places, and I am grateful for what I have.

And I'd love to meet some of you here! I never actually spent time in Florida -- it never appealed to me -- but many of you from the Florida forum seem really cool!! Maybe I should put Florida on my list of places to check out ..... ?

Well, Honest Sagittarius coughs up the truth (yuck).

Answers are keyed to numbers above. Note: Your pretty neck is very safe in my hands. Put that Emmy Lou Harris on the stereo and settle in........ Twang. My pleasure. You really know how to chop thru the heavy undergrowth.

1. I am also basically a night owl by bio habits. But I can swing both ways or all ways. I have worked a lot of shift work and weird hours, so have learned to adapt, can control it at a level. Do best at night, it varies in winter, my clock tends to wants to run at the 25 hour cycle and has be reset every so often by crashes in the nest. Had lots of experience with flat out very, very long stretches of crazy hours. I can control it like nobody I know. Sharpest 8 PM - 2 AM. This past 20 odd years I have had total control of my time and can set the hours to please me. The schedule is whatever I say it is.

2. Independent loner-type but not so much the loner as independent. When you dial in a few facts you don't yet understand it will make sense. I need my own personal time. Never been married, never allowed anyone to actually live in the same house. But it can be modified, hopefully by agreement to a set of rules. I will never be a super tight, do everything with any partner type. It must be by a certain agreement. Benefits, zero disagreements, zero arguments. Lots of freedom for her. Some of my relatives have this type of lifestyle works super. Is what I have always had in any type of close female relationship that lasted for any period. Mutual lifestyles in many areas, totally independent in others. Not many peeps can master it, many will not understand it but in practice is a very comfortable way to live for the right peeps.

3. Money and finances have always been a strong point in my life. Only ever bought two things on credit. First car and one house. Today I have zero financial problems, am free to do as I please within reason. I am a financial conservative but also will go for the bargain and good value for the money. I understand and practice good habits in all areas, taxes, investments, money management, shopping habits. The purpose of money is to have a good lifestyle. One of the joys is taking nothing and making something. I hope the present house is not my last but view a lifestyle as more than material things.

4. No SO or anybody that really matter at present. Definite need in that department in some manner.

5. Tolerance/sharing. I have a super level of tolerance within some set of rules. Am not jealous or petty in any manner. Goes back to point #2. I have even had girlfriends who were very unfaithful which might have been tolerated if they had not gotten so out of bounds in other areas. In general all sharing has been one way because I always had the lions share of the material / financial aspects. Never really bugged me if they did not waste or abuse the situation.

6. Control another of my very, very strong points. I want everything within my control if there is any type of problem. Solve it quick, these are the problems.... fine.... define it.... options.... pick.... do it, problem over. I can not fuss or argue of debate at endless detail anything. Define it, get a fix, do it. I will always get it at the best price. In most real World situations I will do all the work. I trust no fool less competent than myself. Does not mean I have to run any one elses life. In fact I clearly have no desire in that direction. Attempting to set me up for being your backbone or answer to everything, usually leads to failure of the relationship.

7. Values: honesty, integrity, generosity, independence, intelligence, kindness, HUMOR, open mind....those are the basics. Yup, yup, yup, right on.

Basically with me, if life ain't fun it is going to get changed. I am not so empathetic until I exactly understand what your problem is. Do NOT bring me something you are fully capable of solving yourself. DO NOT try to engage me in petty bickering. I prefer the fun side, but have a totally serious side that usually I alone deal with. The smart peeps leave me be when in the trenches with only something I can solve. Do not need or usually do not want moral support.

Smart, funny, stable peeps very, very in. Probably give the shirt off my back to protect you. Very defensive of "My Peeps" and fur-friends in general.

8. Pre-set standard rules are simple. Dumb Arsed games run by somebody's else rigged rules. Will last about 3 micro-seconds or less with me. I totally hate to be snookered in gotcha-games even if money is not a factor. It is one area of life that will generate "Pay Back" from me. In general I will forget and let - let live. I suffer fools poorly.

9. I am a true leader. I will get out in front and lead by example. Will follow you if you can lead in an area that I require it. If you try the standard song and dance where your interest only is served, I will be gone in a flash. It is Independent thinking with the I in font size 36. You better have the better mousetrap and have it totally planned out well. I will tolerate normal snags, I will not tolerate incompetent fools.

10. Personal characteristics, weaks and strengths. Simple I worked all my life to improve the God given talents. I can manage anything, organize anything, cut to the chase quick. I will never do it like anybody else. To include many skills, talents and abilities. Of course the weak points are there. I attempt to maneuver to never expose them. Play to strengths, never weakness. i.e. I never gamble, if it was for no luck, I would have none at all. If I don't earn it, I haven't a prayer.

H, mmm wonder why them dating sites will not work for me????

I am extremely attracted to and am comfortable around strong intelligent independent women. If they want to drive, I love it. Show me the ropes, show me a good time, show me your World. Go out and capture dinner, bring me the World on a platter. Tell me about something I don't know. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO NAG OR FUSS WITH ME.

[_redbird_]

Originally Posted by Cosmic

3. Money and finances have always been a strong point in my life. Only ever bought two things on credit. First car and one house. Today I have zero financial problems, am free to do as I please within reason. I am a financial conservative but also will go for the bargain and good value for the money. I understand and practice good habits in all areas, taxes, investments, money management, shopping habits. The purpose of money is to have a good lifestyle. One of the joys is taking nothing and making something. I hope the present house is not my last but view a lifestyle as more than material things.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO NAG OR FUSS WITH ME.

Hats off to you regarding your financial status! You are blessed! A rarety these days to have zero financial problems.

I like the last sentence too. It sounded like "OR ELSE" was coming. Maybe a paddle in the corner? I like that take charge attitude.