Older men - Younger women (dating, how to, married, lover)

[tet tea]

My friend is six years older than her boyfrend who is 26. Most people I know seem shocked by this, but don't bat an eyelid when it's the reverse. I personally don't see anything wrong with it. I just don't get it.

Now, if the age difference is quite considerable say 20 years plus, then I kind of wonder.

[Ronzou]

Well one of the local business guys here... Let's see he was... 33 and married a 16 year old. 17 years, not quite 20 yet.

[SandyCo]

I don't judge anyone else too harshly, but I don't think I could date anyone more than five or six years younger than me. If they're younger than that, they'd be closer to my kids' ages, and that would be too weird!

Even though I'm in my 40s, and therefore too old for many men (well, it's true, especially in L.A.! ), I can see why so many men choose younger women. A guy in his 40s looking to get married and have kids isn't going to choose someone close to his own age. The real extremes, though, like Tony Randall, kind of turn my stomach.

I'd definitely have a problem with a 35-year-old man dating an 18-year-old young woman. Just by the nature of their ages, it's an unequal relationship. But a 45-year-old man dating a 25-year-old woman? That's a lot better, because let's face it, we all mature a lot between 18 and 25!

What really bothers me is that if a female teacher is caught boinking her male student, she gets a slap on the wrist or very little jail time. If a male teacher is caught boinking his female student, then he's an evil molester! The female teacher is just as much in the wrong, in my humble opinion. Anyone in a position of authority should never abuse that.

Okay, I am now climbing down from my soap box, everyone... Thank you.

[Cosmic]

It is not some type of rule #33. It is basically the peeps involved and what they might bring to each other. You need some basic cautions within those type relationships. I have done it both ways. With fair age differences both ways.

I had a 43 year old woman lover went I was 22. Had no other choice. Navy town, what else is available. I think of her warmly today. She was not pretty but super nice. We had a lot fun in our own way. Both understood the standard rules did not apply. It depends on what you seek.

It is no magic bullet with partners matched in age. I always totally overwhelmed women my own age in the younger - middle category. There has to be a lot more considerations.

I have relatives that are pretty instructive. One is a super guy, mid aged, super well educated, not many women are going to match up with him. He wanted a new job. 2200+ peeps applied for one job. He went to all the bozo interviews, something like 15. Who got the job, who else. We talked during the process. In fact nobody supposely qualified, so he had this contract, that had the impossible. Eveybody said, can't be done. Yup, he not only got the impossible job, he did all the hoops, afterwards to keep it. Flies the private jet, gets all the perks. Super nice guy but with genes that ties him to a small farm. Actually can use common sense in an unreal World. Never loses the cool.

So were does a guy like that get a girl friend. Tough, but he did pull it off. She can not really match up with him in total fire power, but it is interesting to see how they play off each other. They are similar in age but their methods could work at any age. It is the dynamics, not the profile somebody wants to bring.

Lot of it is common sense. There does have to be some basic compatibilty issues resolved. You can trot 10,000 women out into a field. I will be compatible with ~100. Of those, 50 will not make the final cut. 10 will be suitable longer term. 5 of those will say no based on some type of phony profile.

It is what skills, desire and beliefs you bring to any endeavor. It is your character and qualities that matter in the end.

[mainebrokerman]

we all dance to the beat of a different drummer, and once we find a dance partner, its hard to give up,

my lovely maine woman is five yrs older than i, she comes from good stock, can still throw 30 bales of hay in the back of a pick-up, without complaining.
a great cook, keeps the woodpile/woodstove full, and keeps a clean house,,,what more can a guy ask for? would i want a spoiled, self-centered, younger queen??? no way!

[Mrs.Bewitched]

As long as they're legal, I don't think age matters. It's who you get along with; someone mentioned compatable. I could see an immature 30somthing year old man being attracted to an 18 year old woman (aside from just the young age thing ) because chances are, she is immature too. if she was mature, she might not be attracted to him!

As long as there is love, attractiveness, and they get along...as long as it is legal, I don't think it matters.

I would not be attracted to a 20 year old boy. Well, let me phrase that better. I might be ATTRACTED to him because of appearances, but when all is said and done...that boy woul dmost likely need a few years of growing up, and I need me a man.

Now, with that being said, I am trying to imagine when I was single...or if I became single. Back in the day, and probably even now...I was never attracted to much older men. I will be 35 in August, but I know I don't look it...and besides from having children, when I am out of child mode (like with friends), I know I act young at heart. I don't think i would be attracted to say a 45 year old (never was attracted to someone older), just becuase they might be winding down, or be more...mature isn't the correct word, but maybe more than me. But, a guy my age might also be too immature...and a 27year old might be mature.

I don't think it really is age. I think it is just who appeals to you for you they are. Initally I would be attracted to looks, but the hot looking person who still likes to give wedgies and wet wheelies is going to get the cold shoulder.

(well, brad pitt can act like an a$$ and I might ignore that!)

[MoMark]

I always was attracted to more mature women. I think it's evened out now in my mid-forties (44). I've finally caught up to them and am happy with my own age group. Younger women can be stunning, but they don't interest me at all.

[msjbrent]

Age is just a number. I have always been attracted to and dated older men. Young guys are too immature. Too short as well. I was 5'9 at 16, the last thing I wanted was a 16 yr old guy several inches short. Just never interested me. Older men have lived and seen more and for sure know how to treat a woman better. If two people fall in love they can't help the age. Happens.

[nomoresnow]

I prefer older men personallly - they appreciate the attentions of a younger woman better than younger men. But, now that I'm 50+.....

My best friend is engaged to a younger man. She's 66, he's 60. She was all upset at first, worried about what people would think and all that, but she's over it now. It took her several months to admit her age to him. LOL

[mystree]

I prefer older men as well but only by a few years,my husband is almost 3 years older than me. But in the case of a 40 something man dating an 18y.o. in my opinion doesn't seem right he's old enough to be her father.Also want to add same thing with a female 40 something and an 18 y.o. But 18 is legal so it's neither here nor there.