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Yes, Ivory, agreed. But I still feel that both parents working full time leaves children without much attention from their parents. I find it sad actually. I've worked in Daycare centers in the past, and sometimes kids were not being picked up until the Daycare was closing for the day already. I felt really bad for those kids. That's why I'm thankful that I was able to work at the Daycare centers that my children were attending, and that, when they were ready for school, I could work part time in the mornings while they were in school. Now they are big enough to take care of themselves after school, but I still want to be there for them when they have something on their mind they would want to talk about, or when they need help with homework, or just be there so that they won't get tempted to do stupid stuff online, just because no adult is around. I'm not saying that I don't trust them, but I'm acknowledging that the temptation is there. Too many teens are going wild these days, doing stupid stuff they may regret later on, and it's all to get attention.
Anyway, this time a part time job will not work out for me, because I need to start saving money in case the day comes that I might have to leave my husband. But I'll still do my best to be there for the kids after work. My older one is old enough and stable enough to watch over the younger one.
I disagree. Enough has changed in the past 6 or so decades that children aren't shortchanged at all when both parents work. A big part of the reason women went to work is we no longer have the work load we once did at home and, now that we control our own fertility, we don't have the number of children either.
My grandmother had 11 kids and washed clothes by hand, walked to market daily, cooked everything from scratch, lived without no wax floors, non stick pans and permanent press. How much time did she have for each child? Compare her to me with two kids, a washer/dryer, permanent press, a dishwasher, a refrigerator/freezer, no wax floors, non stick pots and pans..
If the research is to be believed, today's full time working mom has more time for her kids than a 1950's stay at home mom and fathers are more involved when mom works so kids win on both fronts. That is assuming they actually needed more time than they were getting from mom and dad in the 1950's.
Nah, teens are just a little more carefree these days. If they want attention it's attention from other teens. Times have changed here too. Kids grow up faster but we ask them to wait longer to settle down. Used to be girls started their periods at 15 and married at 18. Now it's 11 and we expect them to get through collge before settling down. It's not so much that teens are more wild but that they're maturing younger. When I was a kid, a 12 year old played with barbies. My 11 yo is well past barbies and we won't talk about what my 13 yo looks like in a bathing suit
I really don't get why people fixate on moms staying home being the thing that's changed over the years when so many other things have changed as well. 12 year olds are more like 15 year olds when I was growing up and 15 year olds think they're 18 which has to do with how long it's been since puberty more than anything else. I blame hormones in the milk. We also expect our children to get more education. Used to be you could drop out of school at 16, get a decent job and do ok in life. Now you need a college degree unless you want to sell drugs. Society as a whole has changed.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 04-27-2009 at 06:39 PM..
You do have a point. I never thought of it like that. However, because of the many kids, usually the oldest one ended up being the second mother in the house. That was the case with us. My oldest sister was basically my mother's assistant by helping her with the younger kids.
But you certainly have a point. I don't agree about the teenagers part, though. That's probably because I'm quite old fashioned. I don't like all this carefree behaviour. Especially the girls, I feel like they don't have much self respect and that they are allowing guys to view them as nothing more than toys. I can't stand it.
so I took the subject to one of my younger friends back home... not only is she a stay-at-home mom with her little kids & husband works, but so are most of the young families... and nooo, it's not "the backwoods of a coalmine village" either
Looks like Zephora is the ONLY person who longs for the olden days.
Wrong. There are LOTS of women who would love for those days to come back. Yours truly being one of them. I would much rather stay home and take care of my home and children.
If a couple wants one parent to stay at home it can usually be worked out if they want it badly enough.
If pressed, they'll admit that the parents paid a sizable down payment on the house and when granny died, someone received a sizable inheritance. But then, they'd not have anything to be smug about.
Around here, I've crunched the numbers. For most people, the first income pays the mortgage. There may be places where this is possible, if you can find a good job, but these are in short supply in such places.
We've lived in fantasy land for years. The recent trend to remortgaging ones home to spend the increase in its value is over. It kept many in the middle class. This was the last salvo for a society that was increasingly out of touch with reality. Now that starting salaries have dropped considerably, it will be years before many in their 20s can again enjoy what was taken for granted a few years ago. (Live large on debt)
Maybe have it both ways?
With the choices we have now, and women who fought for the right to vote only the last century (those days were not that far behind us) let the career driven women go and get what they desire, and those of us who miss the olden days go that route? too bad in some states/counties it takes two incomes to survive these days...
I'm a wife, without kids, but during those rough months in between jobs, my husband loves me being home with supper and a movie for him. I've had all day to plan it, and he gets way more attention than he did when I was working, because I'm not stressed out from the wrong jobs all evening.
I know I already said this, but if people want to live like the old days, they absolutely can.
However, in the old days they didn't have cable tv, high speed internet. They didn't eat out nearly as much. When they bought a car they usually drove it for a LONG time, not until it went out of style or the paint got dull.
I keep seeing in this thread, people saying that it's impossible to live on one income anymore. That's hogwash. The reason it seems impossible is because we've all learned to fill voids in our lives with garbage, trinkets, instead of with relationships.
I know I already said this, but if people want to live like the old days, they absolutely can.
However, in the old days they didn't have cable tv, high speed internet. They didn't eat out nearly as much. When they bought a car they usually drove it for a LONG time, not until it went out of style or the paint got dull.
I keep seeing in this thread, people saying that it's impossible to live on one income anymore. That's hogwash. The reason it seems impossible is because we've all learned to fill voids in our lives with garbage, trinkets, instead of with relationships.
Yes they are, actually it's quite simple to accomplish.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaBeez
Poor, poor, poor, poor Zephora. She started this thread probably thinking that others would be like her wanting the old days to return, but unfortunately, no one else does.
Yes they are, actually it's quite simple to accomplish.
I do
yup... except, as I mentioned about my friend, there are plenty of us who never stopped living that way
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