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I hate to break this to the women sleeping with married men out there who are so flattered by the attention, but men cheat "down." They sleep with women they wouldn't marry. A mistress is almost always going to be uglier and lower quality than a wife -- same goes in casual situations. Men will sleep with all kinds of women they wouldn't dream of marrying because they don't deem her worthy of that level of commitment. (Perhaps it's the same for women with men too.)
That's especially true when there's lying going on to the spouse. The affair is just some sexual fun on the side. The spouse is the one he/she wants to keep around to go to family get-togethers, workplace parties, and social events. The lover is kept secret and on the side for a reason, although there are some who make sure everyone knows about their lovers because having them is supposed to enhance their reputation as being sexually desireable.
i know, there was a hot and heavy flirtation going on at work for a while with me and this other guy. He told me he is divorced, so i thought, OK that's a green light, so the flirtation continues and the lovey-dovey and sweet talk. Something didn't feel quite right though, so I flat out asked him, "You're divorced, right?" and he said yes, and then I asked him, "Are you available or are you with someone?" And turns out he and the ex-wife are "getting back together for the kids." So in my book he is not available, and that is the end of that for me.
But if I had not come right out and asked him "Are you available" and gotten it out in the open, we were both getting so turned on I know it would have continued and ended up who knows where. So for me it's better to get it out on the open, and have my actions match my words. If I say the guy's gotta be available and not with someone, then my actions have to match or its a no go.
So I backed way off on the lovey-dovey flirting, and so did he, and we are cordial with each other as co-workers, and it feels fine. Yes there is some disapointment on both our parts. But the respect is intact, and so is the integrity, and that's what is most important to me these days, not getting a quickie!
Only if more people felt this way, life would be sweet
Any woman who can go into a relationship with a married man knowing full well that he has a family, home, and another life he is involved in has no conscience. My first husband cheated on me non stop....it was awful. I don't know and don't care if the other women knew about me...they were the scum of the earth as far as I was concerned.
i can understand the person's upset and anger for a husband who cheats on her. i don't get though the upset at the "other women." They may have no scruples, but they also have no responsibility towards the wife and the family. They are simply not her problem so why get upset at her? He is the one cheating, if not with one mistress, than with another. The problem is his scumminess, not the other people he hooks up with.
i still think, though, it's a far worse offense for the married man to be fooling around, than for the single woman he is fooling around with. After all he is the one who is hurting and betraying his wife and family.
She has no obligation whatsoever to his wife and kids. She is single. She is free. She is available. She is also asking for him to cheat on her someday. So I can see trashing the husband, but i could never see the anger at the "other woman."
If a guy robs a bank, we don't blame the bank for having money in the drawer, or even a lax security guard for sleeping on his break and letting it happen. The guy is responsible for his own behavior. Period. We don't say "get rid of banks" we say the guy needs to learn not to rob banks.
I am not a holly roller but on this I have to weigh in.
The Catholic church will tell you there are mortal sins for which you can not be forgiven. However in the Bible time and again, God does not judge one sin more or less than any other. No support of the Catholic claim can be found. God take over after death. While living we posses free will. He knows we will sin. In fact he knew it to be so certain he sent his SON to die for US.
Look up the stories dealing with the Angelic Conflict. There are those that believe our only purpose on this planet is to prove to Lucifer that more of us will choose a good path than a bad.
One can not assume to live in chaos with zero accountability. The physical body is punished by man for crimes against man. The soul will be judged at the end.
No one on this forum is perfect. No one here can righteously look down their noses at those who are honest enough to admit their sins.
^^ regarding above, CPam's post. How could you think the other woman was "the scum of the earth" if she honestly did not know the man was married?
Now, I don't understand how anyone can date someone longer than a month and NOT KNOW that they are married, but I guess from what people have written on city-data lately, it does happen
But, I would hold no anger for someone who honestly did not know there was a spouse involved.
i can understand the person's upset and anger for a husband who cheats on her. i don't get though the upset at the "other women." They may have no scruples, but they also have no responsibility towards the wife and the family. They are simply not her problem so why get upset at her? He is the one cheating, if not with one mistress, than with another. The problem is his scumminess, not the other people he hooks up with.
i still think, though, it's a far worse offense for the married man to be fooling around, than for the single woman he is fooling around with. After all he is the one who is hurting and betraying his wife and family.
She has no obligation whatsoever to his wife and kids. She is single. She is free. She is available. She is also asking for him to cheat on her someday. So I can see trashing the husband, but i could never see the anger at the "other woman."
If a guy robs a bank, we don't blame the bank for having money in the drawer, or even a lax security guard for sleeping on his break and letting it happen. The guy is responsible for his own behavior. Period.
Yes, he sure is. I usually laugh at the women in the movies that wanna beat up the chick the hubby is cheating with..
Why not get a hot pan of grits and pour it on him while he's sleeping?
Just kidding
Any woman who can go into a relationship with a married man knowing full well that he has a family, home, and another life he is involved in has no conscience. My first husband cheated on me non stop....it was awful. I don't know and don't care if the other women knew about me...they were the scum of the earth as far as I was concerned. The final straw was when he and a married woman with children took off together. When she left her family, she took all her kids photos out of her wallet, her husbands photo and left them on the table for her husband to find. Nice woman, huh? Me? I was GLAD he was gone and packed my bags and drove my son, me and my dog 500 miles to get away from him. I firmly believe that my ex and his now wife are both sociopaths....have not clue what is right and what is wrong. Her son hasn't spoken to her in 30 years and probably never will. My son hasn't really talked to his Dad in probably 25 years...saw him briefly at his Grandfather's funeral but "Dad" never came back to visit with my son...SOCIOPATHIC NIT WIT.
My suggestion for people who feel like they can only be with married people while they stay single? Find other people who are as sociopathic as you and get together. You can all get married then cheat on each other and leave the rest of us alone!
I've known people who were victims of cheating and the emotional pain can be just as bad as physical pain.
I think the other woman or other man might just as well help the cheating spouse deliver a good punch in the face or stab in the back to the cheated on spouse.
Pain is pain and inflicting emotional pain on someone just for the sheer fun of it isn't somehow morally better than hurting them physically.
I am not a holly roller but on this I have to weigh in.
The Catholic church will tell you there are mortal sins for which you can not be forgiven. However in the Bible time and again, God does not judge one sin more or less than any other. No support of the Catholic claim can be found. God take over after death. While living we posses free will. He knows we will sin. In fact he knew it to be so certain he sent his SON to die for US.
Look up the stories dealing with the Angelic Conflict. There are those that believe our only purpose on this planet is to prove to Lucifer that more of us will choose a good path than a bad.
One can not assume to live in chaos with zero accountability. The physical body is punished by man for crimes against man. The soul will be judged at the end.
No one on this forum is perfect. No one here can righteously look down their noses at those who are honest enough to admit their sins.
No. Mortal sins are also forgiven. They require confession and have more serious consequences if not forgiven. Murder, wife beating, everything -- can be forgiven as far as the church and God.
Inflicting emotional pain or helping someone else do that to someone isn't a good sin.
of all the women i have known that had affairs with married men, none of them felt at all responsible and knew he was married. . i dont have a clue why this is.
It's called denial. Because she and the cheating man are telling themselves a lot of comfortable things...like the wife doesn't understand him, he deserves to be happy, if the wife was taking care of him right then he wouldn't be cheating, yada yada yada.
Even if the wife is an unresonable shrew - he's a selfish coward for not fixing or ending the marriage. And the Other is a selfish opportunist.
The Bible defines confession as admitting your sins to God and one other man. This is an attempt to tie in the spiritual plane and the physical. You confess to God to cleans your soul and to another man to hold you accountable on this earth.
But back on topic.
I am jes saying the events that lead up to cheating are hardly cut and dry. Most affairs can be divided into 2 categories. Affairs of the heart are usually begun when the non cheating partner has abandon their SO emotionally. The affairs based solely on sexual encounters are more physically driven and based on a need not being met at home.
Having been the "other" person in an affair I can tell you it sucks on so many levels. More than anything it is wrong to do this to yourself. It is really hard not to think about them being with their SO when you are not around. You miss all the important events during the year cause you have to be with your SO or they have a commitment to be with family. All in all the little happiness you get from being in an affair never seems to outweigh all the negative stuff that comes along with it.
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, but I guess from what people have written on city-data lately, it does happen 
