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No. Nobody can take somebody who's yours. If they could, he never was yours to begin with.
I didn't say the person did something wrong by "taking" the other person. I said the other person did something wrong, period. She had sex with someone who already had a wife (and possibly children, I don't know). It's wrong for many reasons, not just for the reason of "taking someone" (again, I don't really believe in that). The unknowing spouse could be getting an STD from her, as one example (just using that one as it's an obvious one).
It has nothing to do with "taking" another person. That person, as you say, had already taken *himself* away. However, knowingly being a part (a big part) of the eventual ruination of a partnership, even if you're just the "excuse" for that (some people want to be caught cheating so they have an excused to leave), doesn't make you any less culpable.
You still did something wrong.
Let me give you an example. I'm walking down the street with three friends. Suddenly, the friends accost an elderly person and beat him up. I may as well kick the old man too, correct? I mean he's already down; *I* didn't do that. I just got in on the fun after *someone else* had done it. And the old man was already hurt and bleeding. What was my part doing to make it worse? Not a lot.
Face it, the old man was walking alone in the dark, he was bound to run into trouble. If it hadn't been my friends, it would have been someone else anyway. When I got there the damage was already done. So my extra kicking doesn't mean I'm responsible.
Is that correct? Because I personally don't feel that way. Doing something wrong is doing something wrong. I don't care whether you *initiated* the wrong or simply *continued and contributed to it*, you're doing wrong.
Let me give you an example. I'm walking down the street with three friends. Suddenly, the friends accost an elderly person and beat him up. I may as well kick the old man too, correct? I mean he's already down; *I* didn't do that. I just got in on the fun after *someone else* had done it. And the old man was already hurt and bleeding. What was my part doing to make it worse? Not a lot.
Face it, the old man was walking alone in the dark, he was bound to run into trouble. If it hadn't been my friends, it would have been someone else anyway. When I got there the damage was already done. So my extra kicking doesn't mean I'm responsible.
Is that correct? Because I personally don't feel that way. Doing something wrong is doing something wrong. I don't care whether you *initiated* the wrong or simply *continued and contributed to it*, you're doing wrong.
Sorry, I can't see how this example is comparable and relevant... Anyway, no need to argue. Obviously, we're not about to change each other's minds.
Here's another quick example, Sierra (or anybody). There's a riot in town. You aren't part of the riot and aren't a violent person. As you're running through the street trying to get away from the havoc, you see that a store has been broken into, the cash register is upside down on the floor and there's cash all around.
Is it okay for this person to take that cash, since after all, somebody was going to anyway? Is that just logic? This person, in this scenario, isn't stealing/doing something morally very wrong because he didn't break into the store himself, and since if it hadn't been him taking the cash, it would have been someone else anyway?
Again, my belief is: He's guilty of doing something very wrong. Period. He knows it's wrong. In fact, he's perhaps even worse in a way than the ones who broke in. Because he's hiding behind a "nice guy" pretense, letting others do the dirty work of breaking things up, then opportunistically sneaking in (at a safe time for him) to get what he wants.
And others may have a different opinion. That's fine. I never took an Ethics class. I don't know if *technically*, by definition, the non-married person is *considered* culpable. But I know logically (and with a degree of maturity) that letting someone else screw something up, then ducking in to get yours, and potentially making things even worse in the process, isn't an exoneration of blame...even if "somebody else" was bound to do it anyway.
If it had been somebody else and not you, then that somebody-else would be the scum and not you, that's all.
But there would be scum on the non-married end one way or another.
No, I didn't. I believe it's the married person's responsibility to be faithful. He/she is the one who took vows and is supposed to keep them. While it may not be "nice" or ethical of the other people to sample the product for sale, they're not the ones to blame.
So does that mean you wouldn't find the person who buys ivory at all culpable for the poaching of ivory-bearing animals? I mean, since if that specific person didn't buy the ivory, someone else would? And therefore you'd think all the blame lies with the poachers and ivory sellers?
Here's another, less extreme example. Let's say your boyfriend wants to steal a co-worker's new car, and needs your help. YOU won't be stealing the car, you'll just be helping him to cover, providing an alibi and so forth. You don't KNOW the co-worker, and are never likely to meet him. But your boyfriend has mentioned the fact that this co-worker doesn't have the financial resources to immediately replace the stolen car, and the co-worker's insurance will only cover what's left on the car loan, not the purchase price of a new car or even a down payment on a new car. Would you go along with the plot, on the grounds that:
1) it's your boyfriend doing the actual stealing, not you
2) you aren't personally acquainted with the co-worker and therefore don't care what happens to him, his property or his credit rating
3) you're pretty sure that even if YOU don't help your boyfriend, he'll find someone else who will and therefore the car is destined to be stolen anyway
If you would have ethical or moral qualms about this scenario, then why on Earth wouldn't you have at least as much concern for a wife and innocent children who are about to have their lives and financial and emotional security shredded? Most people who think the Other Person takes no blame in extramarital affairs, I'm pretty sure, would still say there's no way they'd be an accomplice to auto theft. "Good heavens, that's ILLEGAL!" In other words, they're afraid of being held criminally liable for their actions.
Oh no, they wouldn't DREAM of assisting in the theft of a car. A hunk of metal and plastic. But assist in the destruction of a family? Be a major part of the reason why some spouse and innocent children are crying themselves to sleep night after night? Sure, why not. No ethical dilemma there.
Sorry, I can't see how this example is comparable and relevant... Anyway, no need to argue. Obviously, we're not about to change each other's minds.
I'm sorry, Sierra. Re-read it, maybe? Or see the "riot" example below. I do believe each is relevant but this is about the best I can do; you have your beliefs and I have mine.
Does no one believe in Karma, that you get back what you put out there or as christians say "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"?
We already know humanity around us are a$$holes, everyone take what they can, so whatever you want, sharpen your elbows and fight your way through.
Besides a fair heart never won a fair maiden, and all is allowed in love and war.
Yep, I've taken someones wife in the past, do I feel like i did anything wrong? no that's her problem.
karma sure... but what would it hit back on me for? What did I do wrong? I did nothing but have fun with someone, whether that breaks that someones confidence with another is up to her to decide. I personally find it more irritating when people stick to relationships that are pointless and obviously boring them to death when they could be sharing themselves with the world.
It's up to each person in a relationship to keep their end of the relationship bargain. When they don't is a free pass for some poontang
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And you're entitled to your opinion as well.
