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Old 04-28-2009, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,593 posts, read 21,911,654 times
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Default What is wrong about being the OTHER person in an affair?

I was watching a fictional character the other day justify her involvement with a married man. She pointed out that she was not the one who was married therefore she was not quilty of adultery.

Personally I believe in treating others like I would want to be treated. I wouldn't want a woman involving herself with my husband so therefore I would NOT become involved with someone else's spouse. Nevermind the fact I don't indulge in casual sex. I don't have to know the woman to feel some sort of responsibility to NOT make her life harder.

What are your thoughts on this subject?

For those that have had affairs, did you tell yourself that you weren't committing adultery so where is the problem since you weren't in the marriage?
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Old 04-28-2009, 02:16 PM
 
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Ethically, it's the married person who comes up short in this situation. But, if you are the other woman or man in an affair, the problem is you can easily get too attached and hurt. Casual sex, affairs not of the heart but of the flesh, rarely remain nice and neat and harmless. I've been there, on both ends. It is tricky!
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Old 04-28-2009, 02:17 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,857 posts, read 10,676,586 times
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I think the individual involved rationalizes it with the attitude that the married member is going to cheat anyway, so what's the difference, might as well get mine. In most cases it's probably true, but that doesn't make it alright.
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Old 04-28-2009, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
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Does no one believe in Karma, that you get back what you put out there or as christians say "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"?
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Old 04-28-2009, 02:21 PM
 
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Well, I don't think any of us are ALL right. But who's guiltier? The guy who burglarizes a Frye's Electronics outlet, or the guy who buys a stereo off the back of a pick up truck?
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Old 04-28-2009, 02:23 PM
 
Location: The Plains
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Haven't there been law suits because some one was charged with stealing the affection of a married person?
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Old 04-28-2009, 02:25 PM
 
2,753 posts, read 3,378,357 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
Does no one believe in Karma, that you get back what you put out there or as christians say "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"?
Yeah, I believe in karma, or as we said in a simpler time and place, "What goes around, comes around." But, you won't have to wait to reap that pay off in the afterlife.

Hey, I'm born and raised Catholic; but I've seen too many hypocrites in that religion. I am good to people, because mostly I have compassion...

But I ain't perfect. You? You (the general you) may not have ever committed adultery, but I'd bet you've done things that I would never condone. I think we should stop judging each other so much. I have looked, far and wide, but I've never come across a perfect person.
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Old 04-28-2009, 02:26 PM
 
468 posts, read 742,704 times
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Marriage is a business contract enforced by the state. What's that got to do with love.
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Old 04-28-2009, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Texas
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I guess it depends on the situation. There are a lot of loveless marriages out there that are more like corporate mergers or "business arrangements" and both partners are getting their kicks on the side. It seems to be more important to them to keep up appearances with all of their material things and social events.

I was actually hit on by a man in one of these types of marriages right in front of his wife! I was shocked! And she acted like she didn't see or hear a thing! I turned him down firmly but it was clear to me that the wife knew and didn't care as long as she had her gorgeous house and social standing.
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Old 04-28-2009, 02:28 PM
Status: "Current ear worm - charming Billy..." (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: Whoville....
21,782 posts, read 15,878,181 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
Does no one believe in Karma, that you get back what you put out there or as christians say "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"?
Sometimes they are. I know one woman who has had affiars with multiple married men. She doesn't view marriage as an exclusive sexual relationship.
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