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I don't know how you overlooked three packs a day to begin a relationship with her.
Here is what worked for me: Acupuncture and then clips in my ears, a hypnosis session and a tape of that session (discussing how good I would feel and all kinds of positive stuff about being smoke free).
3 packs a day is pretty substantial...how on earth did you even look passed that?!?
i grew up in a chain smokers home, i couldn't wait to get the hell out of there at 16 (her attitude more then anything regarding her smoking put me off, i was use to the physical side of it being raised in it). whats funny is i went through withdrawals of a sort from being in that environment all my life. it took me a good year and a half of not understanding why i was so irritable and nauseous after moving out...
it all clicked one day when i visited my mother and couldn't even stand to be in her home, EVERYTHING stank and had brown tint to it...once you get over the addictive state it puts you in and come back to it it really puts you off in a bad way.
A small precentage of men (myself included) actually find women who smoke to be very attractive. Here you are whining and complaining about what I'd consider to be my ultimate fantasy goddess! If you don't like it, break up with her and send her my way. LOL.
A small precentage of men (myself included) actually find women who smoke to be very attractive. Here you are whining and complaining about what I'd consider to be my ultimate fantasy goddess! If you don't like it, break up with her and send her my way. LOL.
I just had a life changing thing happen to me. I am a non smoker who started dating a heavy smoker. It was a very big mistake. I have had a very hard time dealing with this for some reason and feel it has changed me forever. The whole ordeal has left me depressed and devistated.
I have always been against smoking as I saw what my Dad went through, he was a chain smoker for 33 years until he was set free when he (lucky for him) got very sick for 10 days and was hospitalized; when he left the hospital he thought he better not light another up as he had gone this far and made it! He has never gone back.
I never smoked and always found women who smoked a turn off. From the stench of Tabacco on their skin, hair and clothes, wrinkled skin, yellow fingernails, deep hoarse voice and sickening "smokers" cough, I was repulsed.
Over the years I became complacient as I was trying to meet people and date. I guess I let this dealbreaker slip! Over the past few years I briefly dated a few women who smoked and it was not too bad to deal with. Then last year I met a woman online who I liked but found out the day I met her that she smoked. I tried to over look it as we seemed to hit it off pretty well. Well since I only saw her once a week, I found out several weeks later how much of an addict she was. She was a chain smoker who smoked about 3 packs a day. As I was getting to know her and I started develop feelings for her I felt the need to mention to her how bad it was that she smoked that much. Of course I knew that she did this years before she met me and I had no right to preach and make someone do something they did not want to do. But her habit was off the charts! I imagine if she smoked half a pack a day it would of been a lot easier to deal with, but if every time we went outside and at every 30 min incrament she had to light up, you can see how this was a problem for a non smoker dating her! Every place we would go eat the first thing she would ask is if there was outside seating so she could smoke. She could not even sit through a 2 hour movie without her needing a "smoke break" And to hear her constant cough and hear her deep voice all reafirmed that this was taking a huge toll on her health.
I should of walked at that point, but I foolishly stayed. I loved her and could not walk away. And as a fellow human being I wanted to help her save her life. 3 packs a day for 20 years, with a chronic cough, deep voice... If only just a friend, I would be concerned, let alone someone who is in love with her. Not understanding the compulsive fascination with smoking I hit the Internet to educate myself. After a short while I was FLOORED with what I learned. I knew Nicotine was addictive, but not like this! More than Heroine, Crack or Alchohol? ~90% of people who try it get hooked? A typical smoker will die ~15 years earlier than normal? (If they are lucky) If you don't die from Lung Cancer, you will from numerous other diseases if not from a breathing disorder (COPD, Enphesema) AMAZING...
After months of discussions and disagreements she finally agreed to quit. But when she was ready. Could be 6 months or 6 years! Well you know what that means, it's Junky thinking at it's best. I told her that from what I read, that unless something bad happened to her she would most likey never quit. (seeing a loved one die due to smoking, spittin up blood, etc) I know it was wrong but I did push. I tried telling her what she was doing, bought books, printed out materials for her to read. I just could not sit and watch her do this to herself.
She then finally decided to try to quit on Chantix and it lasted 2 months (boy were the side effects horrific! Those alone killed our relationship), but with 5 relapses during that time and with her weaning herself off the meds, the inevitable happened. She is back hooked on smoking. She tried to quit a few times since then (cold turkey) but kept going back. A few short weeks and the addiction is in full force. Now she wants to try to lose some of the weight she gained before she tries to quit again. She tells me that she finally realizes that she needs to quit and she wants to do it, but that she needs to do it for herself and not for me or others. I agree with this 100%, but can she really do it? Do years or decades need to pass before she is finally ready? I don't know.
I am simply repulsed with this addiction. Seeing her frantically needing a cigarette every ~30 minutes is amazing. I do not think she will ever quit smoking any time soon... Something really bad has to happen for her to even have a chance. Sad but a fact.
As far as for me, I just can't deal with this anymore. For some reason I can't stand to be around her anymore or even talk to her on the phone when I can hear her light up and smoke! I wish I could just get over this somehow and let her deal with this on her own. Not sure if I can do this...
Lesson learned: Non Smokers should never date a Smoker! (Unless you don't care that they are commiting suicide and will keep your concerns to yourself or you are just looking for a short term/fling) But if Long Term is the case, why even bother being with someone like this? I just don't get it.
If you thought of the person as 'committing' suicide in the first place, then why even bother with them? Yes, you should've walked away if it was such a problem, but chose to stay so....that's not the smoker's fault. Whether you stayed or went they would still be smoking.
I wasn't a heavy smoker years ago and I'm not now (recently started again), about half a pack a week. Anyways, no, if you have issues with the smoke and don't smoke yourself then best not to date smokers then. If a person want to smoke that bad they're not going to care what the opposite sex thinks anyways.
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