"Think about how you used to feel about him/her"

[Coolhand68]

Originally Posted by gatitosmommy

it's that viewpoint that largely contributes to the high divorce rate these days

Perhaps, but that's only because we no longer worry about the stigmatism of divorce like we did several decades ago. People no longer commit themselves to dead end relationships that they would have remained in back in the 50's because of the church or what the neighbors might say. Welcome to the 21st century for better or worse.

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by Public_Newsense

Originally Posted by Coolhand68
As a couple, you either grow together in sync with one another or you grow apart. Some never grow at all.


So, do you think that in relationships like Coolhand described that feel just empty and they can't seem to 'fix it', they should suffer through them? Not challenging you, just wondering this myself.

The post by Coolhand makes an excellent point, people do grow and change, and when people grow in different directions, or one grows and the other doesn't, or one seeks help to address problems and the other refuses to seek help to address problems, then those to me are healthy reasons for parting.

One person can't "make" a marriage work or "fix it" on their own. It takes two people both participating, both taking responsibility for the quality of the relationship, and each taking responsibility for their behavior within the relationship.

And in answer to the question, NO life is not about suffering through anything. Life is about joy and growth and quality of life. Choosing to leave a marriage can be a very healthy choice. Staying in anything to just "suffer through it" is a sure-fire recipe for misery.

[Tia 914]

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

Perhaps, but that's only because we no longer worry about the stigmatism of divorce like we did several decades ago. People no longer commit themselves to dead end relationships that they would have remained in back in the 50's because of the church or what the neighbors might say. Welcome to the 21st century for better or worse.

lol