What's the absolute "deal-breaker" in a new relationship? (guys, kids)
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When I first meet someone, I use that great Freudian line: What is it that most irritates you about people?
So it would all be dependent on the answer to that question.
Why? Because what we hate the most in others, usually sits within ourselves somewhere, lying there repressed, ready to take off like a rocket, given the right circumstances.
This person hates cheaters. I'd run!
This person hates people who can't control their anger. I'd run faster!
This person hates people who are always using other people. Run, run, run!
Freudian analysis works true for some individuals but not all. And just because you hate something in others that you hate in yourself doesn't really mean anything groundbreaking if nobody cares about improving or developing themselves, now does it? Plus I believe most people are insightful to their own problems and issues.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tijlover
When I first meet someone, I use that great Freudian line: What is it that most irritates you about people?
So it would all be dependent on the answer to that question.
Why? Because what we hate the most in others, usually sits within ourselves somewhere, lying there repressed, ready to take off like a rocket, given the right circumstances.
This person hates cheaters. I'd run!
This person hates people who can't control their anger. I'd run faster!
This person hates people who are always using other people. Run, run, run!
Hardcore into a religion
Conservative
Has a kid (I'm only 25, too young to want to worry about that)
Deals with severe depression
Socially ignorant
Chronic drug user
Plans EVERYTHING in their life out. The "I must be married by 22, have a kid by 24, etc." type.
Hardcore into a religion
Conservative Has a kid (I'm only 25, too young to want to worry about that)
Deals with severe depression Socially ignorant
Chronic drug user
Plans EVERYTHING in their life out. The "I must be married by 22, have a kid by 24, etc." type.
My ex was very religious and socially ignorant and I couldn't stand it. I try to be very respectful about other people's beliefs but when it's all they talk about 24/7 I get very fed up very fast. Socially ignorant to me is the worst when it's paired with loud and obnoxious.
The other two I bolded I'd have to agree with. I don't like children and certainly don't want any yet (ever?) at my age. And if I were to date a chronic drug user he/she could land us both in a heap of trouble because of it, not to mention to other problems drugs cause!
To me, those four things could quite possible be major deal breakers for me as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles22
Smokers, and people who can't even speak proper English.
It doesn't bother me when someone is relatively new to the language or it's not their first language (it really is a tough language to learn). But it really irks me when native English speakers can't even speak it or write it properly. As an English major and a lover of my native tongue, it'd be a deal breaker for me as well if a native English speaker didn't have a clue about his or her own language. sadly, I have friends who fit into such a category, and they attended decent schools and don't have any disabilities, so they really don't have an excuse, IMO.
I suppose it's a habit that could be changed, but someone with no table manners (chewing with mouth open, talking with mouth full, talking nonstop during an entire meal).
There was one date, a grad student, that called me "stupid" for not having a graduate degree. I briefly pointed out my current debt from undergrad ($0) and salary, and ended the date.
I haven't read all the responses, but, for me, it would have to be a complete intolerance for people of races, ethnicities, religions, or sexual persuasions. Illegal drug use would be right up there too.
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