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I could just feel the judgemental tone in your post. Some of us try to do better in our lives but for some reason just can't get a break and watching everyone else around us catch em. No frustration sets in and we will complain.
The judgement isn't about you (general you) not achieving. All people cannot have all things. It's just the way of it. The judgement is directed at attempts to extrapolate a lack of success onto populations. But, that's neither here nor there. Loves wants to understand why. We're discussing the reasoning behind it.
I wonder if having an expiration date on a marriage license would encourage people to wait out their marriage instead of working things out. I have noticed people in good relationships work harder on their relationship because it is more rewarding. Its like anything else we have the more we like it the more time we spend keeping it in good shape
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thriftylefty
I wonder if having an expiration date on a marriage license would encourage people to wait out their marriage instead of working things out. I have noticed people in good relationships work harder on their relationship because it is more rewarding. Its like anything else we have the more we like it the more time we spend keeping it in good shape
People already wait marriages out, some wait until the kids are out, in this economy some are just waiting until they have enough $$$ to file.
I thought about this in the past. Yes, I think they should be like many other contracts and if someone involved in the contract was not performing to the standards of the contract, just don't renew it. That would be a wonderful option in my opinion! I don't the length should be more than 2 years before deciding whether to renew or not. I would not be renewing mine!
1. For the truly marriage minded who actually want and EXPECT that marriage to last a life-time they should have a version for that. In fact, when I got married, I remember hearing on the news that some state had created some fake marriage term which would make it harder for people who sign up for these voluntary marriages to get a divorce and make it an at-fault divorce too. I would support that. If the woman cheats on the husband, she shouldn't get to walk away with the kids and the money too. And vice versa.
2. For the ones who just like the ceremony and any financial benefits (insurance privileges, etc), the gold-diggars and their men, anyone who has been married three or four times before, any marriage with a prenup etc........they get the renewable marriage. Those marriages that I have listed aren't usually true marriages anyway so might as well put them in a different category.
I would pick the first kind. I didn't get married to "test it out." I got married to make it last forever and lowering the standard for marriage doesn't make it better. When you lower the standard, you usually get worse behavior IME.
I heard on the radio the other day that someone was proposing that marriage licenses should have an expiration date. My friend once told me that a long time ago, such a practice was common, and that usually licenses would last a year. Then if the couple wanted to continue being married that they had to pay to renew their license each year, obviously to make more money. What do you think? Should marriage licenses expire? And if so how long should they last? What are your reasons for thinking this way?
YES! YES! YES! aaaaaaand YES!
Funny thing, I heard this suggestion from my divorced brother many years before I got my divorce.
In all fairness, given our obligation to the children we bring into this world and the spouses we marry, I would be inclined to suggest that a marriage license have a 20 year expiration date, with no repercussion for allowing it to expire. If both husband and wife decide to renew it thereafter, it is their right to do so every 3 or 5 years after that.
Funny thing, I heard this suggestion from my divorced brother many years before I got my divorce.
In all fairness, given our obligation to the children we bring into this world and the spouses we marry, I would be inclined to suggest that a marriage license have a 20 year expiration date, with no repercussion for allowing it to expire. If both husband and wife decide to renew it thereafter, it is their right to do so every 3 or 5 years after that.
You still need to divvy up accumulated assets after 20 years. Who gets the house? How to split up the money on the house. What about debts? Cars? Savings accounts, etc. There's no way to not make it messy except for not getting married and keeping everything in one person's name only. I fail to see how that's practical when raising children though.
You still need to divvy up accumulated assets after 20 years. Who gets the house? How to split up the money on the house. What about debts? Cars? Savings accounts, etc. There's no way to not make it messy except for not getting married and keeping everything in one person's name only. I fail to see how that's practical when raising children though.
Since both parties understand the marriage license has a 20 year expiration date, it's possible that material goods can be divvied up amicably and based on mutual agreement. Surely, there will be no lack of attorneys who will come up with some End-of-Marriage-License Auto-Divvying Formula.
Within a 20 year period, most couples are done procreating. Within that period, most children are close to being adults or full adults. If they are far from adulthood then the parents could renew the license for a few more years if so desired. Or, if they wished to, they could end the marriage, divvy up assets as required, and locate children with either spouse or both as is the current practice.
Seems to me that if a marriage license had an expiration date, people would plan their lives a bit more carefully in preparation for that end date, or they'd prepare to renew and carry on. Either way, the high rates of divorce would surely diminish significantly. And the horrendous divorce from hell stories would be the exception, not the norm. Don't you think?
Lawyers/marriage counselors. . .please chime in!
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frustration sets in and we will complain.
