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Nearly everyone is doomed according to a brief look at the messages on this forum. It's got guys dating girls and not sleeping with them and complaining about it, and guys dating girls and not sleeping with them and not complaining about it, and girls dating guys and not sleeping with them and complaining about it, and girls dating guys and sleeping with them and complaining about it, and guys not dating girls and not sleeping with them and complaining about it, and ....
Out of reps for you, but very well said! I do feel like a zombie quite often...
This is exactly how i feel too. It's almost like i can't get excited about a relationship anymore. I like dating, but as soon as it starts feeling like a relationship, i just can't get into it.
I'm dating this guy now how seems like he's great. Notice, i wrote seems great, b/c for some reason, i always wait for the other shoe to drop, and i feel like once i start being good and nice, that's when it'll happen.
And why don't you have a plan of action and a plan B and C for the way you'd like your relationships to be? That way you are not so fearful and anxious, that way you don't miss out.
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Originally Posted by NativeNYCer
This is exactly how i feel too. It's almost like i can't get excited about a relationship anymore. I like dating, but as soon as it starts feeling like a relationship, i just can't get into it.
I'm dating this guy now how seems like he's great. Notice, i wrote seems great, b/c for some reason, i always wait for the other shoe to drop, and i feel like once i start being good and nice, that's when it'll happen.
But seriously, folks, no one is impressed if you planted a tree or got a kitty out of one. Some people will say "oh, that is so sweet of you," but that doesn't mean they want to date you. If you are a woman your best ticket to finding a man is being a royal *****, because you are challenging. As many men on here have said, the best way for a man to find a woman is to be a jerk or "bad boy." The stereotypical description of ideal mate includes "nice," but results seem to show attractiveness, money, and not-so-friendly demeanor are more likely to lead you down the aisle to eternal pseudo-bliss.
I have trust issues. I WANT to trust that people are going to do the right thing, but I'm normally disappointed. The fact that I wouldn't steal from someone, or kick them out on the street, or that I work hard raises the expectation in me that other people are going to do the same. But I find that is usually NOT the case.
Do I "trust" you? Probably not. It is very hard for me to do so.
I'm generally a kind-hearted person - probably because I feel for people so much. When it comes to friendships and acquaintances, I will go out of my way to show that person kindness and love. Not in the creepy way but just sending them a kind-hearted text when they're feeling down and etc. The reason why I do this is because I really care about people and the stuff that happens to them in their life and the feelings they feel. . . I know that I have a choice to be a positive influence, a negative influence, or no influence at all in someone's life and so being a positive element sounds a hell of a lot more beneficial to everyone than the other two.
Now, I can be extremely selfish - especially when it comes to certain guys and how I want them to want me for my own selfish reasons that have nothing to do with them at all - but I'm working on keeping that down to a bare minimum and gradually I'm improving.
People are always saying that they want to change the world. Well, how do you change the world? You change it through people because people are after all what makes up our world. How do you change people? You can't, but your kindness may leave a lasting impression on them.
In romance? I'm talking about people who have the following characteristics of: empathy, reliability, loyalty, agreeability, sensitivity, cooperativeness, being warm-hearted & good-natured, compassion, friendliness, & being deliberative.
What about in romantic, sexual relationships? Are genuinely kind-hearted people more damned if they do than if they don't, in a relationship? As in more liable to get hurt, get their hearts "trampled" on, get taken advantage of? I know that many mistake kindness as weakness so I just wanted to see what the thoughts were of people. I also know that good people are likelier to be loved & appreciated by other good people rather than by a "bad" person. Is being a "good" person currently more of a fault than a favor?
We've all heard about the "good girl", "nice guy" descriptions & the word that usually follows after is: boring. But for a long-term relationship, wouldn't we prefer something to be more positively predictable & reliable rather than all the drama that is within a bad relationship?
Also, I know that people's definitions of what's good & what's bad differ, but the universal traits of what is good are usually similar cross culturally.
Thoughts?
People with these qualities just tend to have bad judgement.
They want to help. They want to be the comforter. What happens is they get over their head. They think they will help but it backfires and they end up miserable.
In all situation,s nice people need to be careful of not being taken advantage of, and in relationships, not be taken for granted.
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I do feel like a zombie quite often...
