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View Poll Results: If your significant other was HIV positive, would you leave them??
Yes 32 59.26%
No 22 40.74%
Voters: 54. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-04-2009, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
11,193 posts, read 9,161,150 times
Reputation: 14265
I get the feeling from reading some of these posts, that if their partners had even contracted a non-sexual disease, it wouldn't be much different. They'd find some reason to leave. Like: I've been telling you you should have taken better care of yourself all along, I have no sympathy for you. Like: You know you should have quit smoking long ago, I have no sympathy for you.
Like: Well, now you have diabetes! What have I been telling you! You could have avoided this! Like: I told you long ago you needed to stop working so much, now you've had a stroke! No sympathy for you! Like: Why didn't you ride the bike those three short blocks to 7-11? It would have been good exercise. Instead, you drove the car and got into an accident and now you're a paraplegic. And on and on.
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Old 05-04-2009, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 9,350,489 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tijlover View Post
I get the feeling from reading some of these posts, that if their partners had even contracted a non-sexual disease, it wouldn't be much different. They'd find some reason to leave. Like: I've been telling you you should have taken better care of yourself all along, I have no sympathy for you. Like: You know you should have quit smoking long ago, I have no sympathy for you.
Like: Well, now you have diabetes! What have I been telling you! You could have avoided this! Like: I told you long ago you needed to stop working so much, now you've had a stroke! No sympathy for you! Like: Why didn't you ride the bike those three short blocks to 7-11? It would have been good exercise. Instead, you drove the car and got into an accident and now you're a paraplegic. And on and on.
There is a SIGNIFICANT difference between HIV and other diseases. FYI, I just watched my 5'6 295 lb sister die from diabetes related causes and never ONCE did ever tell her or hint that if she had lost the weight she would still be here.

You truly need an education if you can't understand the difference between a KILLER, CONTAGIOUS SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE and a chronic illness.
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Old 05-04-2009, 09:04 PM
 
9,925 posts, read 8,609,883 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tijlover View Post
I get the feeling from reading some of these posts, that if their partners had even contracted a non-sexual disease, it wouldn't be much different. They'd find some reason to leave. Like: I've been telling you you should have taken better care of yourself all along, I have no sympathy for you. Like: You know you should have quit smoking long ago, I have no sympathy for you.
Like: Well, now you have diabetes! What have I been telling you! You could have avoided this! Like: I told you long ago you needed to stop working so much, now you've had a stroke! No sympathy for you! Like: Why didn't you ride the bike those three short blocks to 7-11? It would have been good exercise. Instead, you drove the car and got into an accident and now you're a paraplegic. And on and on.
Not necessarily. I think that people STILL freak out about sexually transmitted diseases, particularly in America. I find it really sad that HIV/AIDs is still viewed as primarily a sexually transmitted disease and all the stereotypical thinking that goes along with it.
I think people would be very sympathetic with partners that are sick, injured or die from some of the things you listed and they would stay but I do believe there is still a huge panic that people go into when they hear HIV/AIDS and I don't think they're truly able to consider rationally what they would do because they invisage the Grim Reaper coming for them or something equally ridiculous and there is still that connotation that if you have HIV/AIDS you must be sexually perverted. Too bad if you're a doctor or a nurse or paramedic infected through a sharps injury. Or someone who had a dodgy blood transfusion or a multitude of other ways in which people become infected. AND seriously if you have it who cares how you came by it? Ultimately to me, HOW you come to have HIV/AIDS is irrelevent, that you do is no different to me than if you had cancer or Motor Neurone or a hoard of horrid and hideous diseases that suck the life right out of you. You would have my utmost sympathy AND an extra dose of it because of all the crap you'll have to put up with from people that are ignorant and unkind.
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Old 05-04-2009, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,002 posts, read 12,927,603 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tijlover View Post
I get the feeling from reading some of these posts, that if their partners had even contracted a non-sexual disease, it wouldn't be much different. They'd find some reason to leave. Like: I've been telling you you should have taken better care of yourself all along, I have no sympathy for you. Like: You know you should have quit smoking long ago, I have no sympathy for you.
Like: Well, now you have diabetes! What have I been telling you! You could have avoided this! Like: I told you long ago you needed to stop working so much, now you've had a stroke! No sympathy for you! Like: Why didn't you ride the bike those three short blocks to 7-11? It would have been good exercise. Instead, you drove the car and got into an accident and now you're a paraplegic. And on and on.
Why would I want to date someone with Aids? I like to have sex, and lots of it. I would want to get married and have kids if I were single person right now, and have lots of them. And did I mention I want to have a lot of sex too?
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:18 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,079 posts, read 8,495,643 times
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A lot of folks said that if their SO was HIV positive they would leave. I said no but of course that has a lot of conditions to it. I think like others, if my SO had gotten it from being unfaithful then obviously that would be an issue.
I think if you have been with someone for a long time, married or whatever there comes a point where you aren't using protection and the first thing I'd do if my mate found out this information is that I'd have myself checked. Then, I'd go from there. I have known people who had a result like this and it's very overwhelming to them, they instantly feel like they are going to spend the rest of their lives alone and that no one will ever love them. So, on one hand you have to have some compassion, it's the worst news you could possibly imagine getting and I'd have to be there for someone if they got this news and I was the SO. I think the "mom" in me would take over and I'd have to help that person and stay with them unless they had done something really wrong to me. That's just me though...
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:27 AM
 
324 posts, read 539,821 times
Reputation: 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof! View Post
I'm not shocked at all. When you are closely bonded with someone you love, you feel like you would die for that person.
Woof, the fact that TJ had sex with this person & still remained negative means that their partner was HIV positive to begin with. To KNOWINGLY get into a sexual relationship with someone with HIV, when it is uncurable, now that's irresponsible.

Especially if taxpayers have to cough up the $$ needed for meds. What's next? Dating heroine & cocaine addicts? We are not talking about the flu here but AIDS!
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:33 AM
 
324 posts, read 539,821 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
So you're saying that your partner being diagnosed with HIV would be like a button that you could use to just turn off any and all feelings you have for your partner, just like that?

I hardly think if your partner was diagnosed with HIV or any other communicable disease that you'd be spending that much time thinking about the mighty and all powerful "taxpayer" I'm quite sure that tijlover knows more than they ever would care to know about the expense of meds and the decrease in quality of life and stigma attached to HIV.

If you cannot understand loving someone to the extent that watching them die didn't make you wish you could die with them, then I'm happy for you. It's not a head space I would wish on anyone, be grateful you don't get it. I think it's pretty poor form of you to dimish what must have been a truly soul destroying experience by flippantly asking if it was a joke.
I often hear of "gift giving" in the gay community where HIV pple go out of their way to try & get HIV. And knowing how serious this disease is, I fail to understand how people wish it upon themselves like an expensive pair of shoes. To each their own, I will NEVER wish I had HIV/AIDS.

I would have thought the normal thing to do is to wish the best for yourself.

I think people watch too much BET, MTV, CRIBS etc & see Magic Johnson living lavishly with HIV then they forget what a critical disease this is. I BET Dr. Phil would agree with me that some baggages eg HIV/AIDS are deal-breakers in a relationship.

This is why this disease will never go away. Instead of people shying away from it, they hunt for it like a prized jewel...
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:39 AM
 
324 posts, read 539,821 times
Reputation: 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by MonaLisaVito View Post
Why would I want to date someone with Aids? I like to have sex, and lots of it. I would want to get married and have kids if I were single person right now, and have lots of them. And did I mention I want to have a lot of sex too?

Same here! Its a DEADLY INCURABLE disease!
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:44 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,039 posts, read 14,644,198 times
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It depends. If they caught HIV through a tainted blood transfusion or by pricking himself on a needle for example then of course not. It is then just an illness like any other. If it was not his fault then of course I would stand by him as he stood by me whilst I had Leukeamia.


But if they had slept with someone else, then I would be out of the door. Actually he could leave the house as being the one who was a lying cheating bastard. I have no patience with cheats. Sick or not. If he got HIV/AIDS it wasn't from me so the likelihood would be something pretty darn ugly. He has always known that one strike and he's out. No leeway whatsoever, no second chance.

If you want to sleep around it is your prerogative but be a man/woman and leave your girlfriend/boyfriend first. If you want to play the field do not get into a relationship with anyone and tell any person you sleep with that commitment is not your thing. At least it's honest and the person can then take a decision based on knowledge rather than lies.

I would be pretty devastated though. It might just break me.
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:57 AM
 
7,334 posts, read 5,787,600 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaBeez View Post
Waaaaay too many variable factors to consider. If it were my wife and she got it through infidelity, I would kick her out of my house. She can go stay with whoever she got it from. If she got it through some terrible mistake at her hospital during some procedure, then I would not leave her.

If it were just someone I was dating, then yep - I'd leave them right away.
I think I would more than KICK her out of my house!!

You then have to worry if she gave it to you. Did she have sex with you knowing she MAY have been infected.

Lots of garbage that can go along with this question. I would have to say I would get rid of her and not even ask questions. Then get tested every week for a few months.

That would be crazy!!!!
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