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Old 05-08-2009, 04:37 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 34,115,177 times
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Well one has negative thoughts when in negative or hurtful circumstances. Does that make sense to you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RichardW View Post
Negative mind states, including self hatred, are self-perpetuating, as everything that will happen to you is a reflection of this mind state. Blaming everything on others is a way of weasiling out of the fact that one is perpetuating the problems with those very thoughts!!!

 
Old 05-08-2009, 04:37 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,555 posts, read 4,161,594 times
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If the guy is not a troll, he is definitely mixed up - changing his attitude from day to another. It could be some kind of disorder beyond his control. I have no clue but I would advise to seek some kind of help. Seriously.
 
Old 05-08-2009, 04:41 PM
 
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Well life circumstances change from day to day. Therefore your mood is going to fluctuate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aylalou View Post
If the guy is not a troll, he is definitely mixed up - changing his attitude from day to another. It could be some kind of disorder beyond his control. I have no clue but I would advise to seek some kind of help. Seriously.
 
Old 05-08-2009, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Subarctic Mountain Climate in England
2,918 posts, read 1,015,374 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Well one has negative thoughts when in negative or hurtful circumstances. Does that make sense to you?

Not really. Negative thoughts are totally reactive in nature. People can control their reactions, and if they feed an undesirable situation with negativity, it becomes negative.

Any situation, by itself, with no thought, is neutral.

I could have whined about it being negative when my dad went to jail and we had to move house and restart my education.

However, I applied a positive mind state, accepted what had happened, went to university, and realised that my dad was learning some serious lessons and that anything that happens in life is a good learning experience.

"Negative" is purely subjective. People tend make up their own definitions of what is negative and positive, which is conditioning. But in reality it is all about MIND STATES.

The only things that can be negative or positive are STATES OF MIND. What one person would consider "negative" another would see as an opportunity to improve... state of mind totally.
 
Old 05-08-2009, 04:50 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 34,115,177 times
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Most people would think jail is a very negative experience.

Some of your other comments are good but I'm curious if you have the ability to relate and have sympathy for other people's pain. You don't seem to be able to want to have any negative emotions but just move past it/look past it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RichardW View Post
Not really. Negative thoughts are totally reactive in nature. People can control their reactions, and if they feed an undesirable situation with negativity, it becomes negative.

Any situation, by itself, with no thought, is neutral.

I could have whined about it being negative when my dad went to jail and we had to move house and restart my education.

However, I applied a positive mind state, accepted what had happened, went to university, and realised that my dad was learning some serious lessons and that anything that happens in life is a good learning experience.

"Negative" is purely subjective. People tend make up their own definitions of what is negative and positive, which is conditioning. But in reality it is all about MIND STATES.

The only things that can be negative or positive are STATES OF MIND. What one person would consider "negative" another would see as an opportunity to improve... state of mind totally.
 
Old 05-08-2009, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Subarctic Mountain Climate in England
2,918 posts, read 1,015,374 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Most people would think jail is a very negative experience.

Some of your other comments are good but I'm curious if you have the ability to relate and have sympathy for other people's pain. You don't seem to be able to want to have any negative emotions but just move past it.

If that's what you think, you must be misunderstanding something.

All the relating to somebody's situation and "sympathy" will not change their attitude. In fact it will re-affirm their self pity. Pity-Party they call it.

All I am saying, is it is a matter of re conditioning ones mind to see the oppourtunities in a situation that is considered negative. Because that would actually effect a positive outcome for anyone who cared to actually initiate positive mind states instead of act reactively.

That would help them, by helping themselves. There is only so much one can help another until they themself need to change their attitude.

I will tell you, accepting, changing and moving past "negativity" is better and healthier than letting it rot you from the inside out. People like that die inside.

P.S. "not wanting to have negative emotions" is a very good motivation for taking the first steps to erradicating them I don't think anyone "wants" negative emotions, because they are a waste of time, and downright unpleasant.
 
Old 05-08-2009, 04:57 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 34,115,177 times
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In regards to the first bold statements, I do not believe that at all. That is utter complete BS. If somebody doesn't relate to me or sympathize it exacerbates the rage and hurt that I feel. If somebody is treating me like garbage am I supposed to alter my thought process to make me believe it is untrue and that they are truly kind and warm? Reality is how I see it.

If I am able to connect to another person and somebody can relate or offer sympathy or understanding then the problem goes away much faster and much quicker.

Now I agree your last bit of wisdom. Very nice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RichardW View Post
If that's what you think, you must be misunderstanding something.

All the relating to somebody's situation and "sympathy" will not change their attitude. In fact it will re-affirm their self pity. Pity-Party they call it.

All I am saying, is it is a matter of re conditioning ones mind to see the oppourtunities in a situation that is considered negative. Because that would actually effect a positive outcome for anyone who cared to actually initiate positive mind states instead of act reactively.

That would help them, by helping themselves. There is only so much one can help another until they themself need to change their attitude.

I will tell you, accepting, changing and moving past "negativity" is better and healthier than letting it rot you from the inside out. People like that die inside.
 
Old 05-08-2009, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Subarctic Mountain Climate in England
2,918 posts, read 1,015,374 times
Reputation: 3952
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I do not believe that at all. That is utter complete BS. "If somebody doesn't relate to me or sympathize it exacerbates the rage and hurt that I feel."
I'll tell you what, that is "complete utter BS". You expect that someone will give you sympathy and not getting that will excasserbate your rage and hurt. That is very spineless!

Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post

If I am able to connect to another person and somebody can relate or offer sympathy or understanding then the problem goes away much faster.

Now I agree your last bit of wisdom. Very nice.

People's sympathy may "help" you to change your mind state, but you have to make the changes.

My comments said

"There is only so much one can help another until they themself need to change their attitude. "

All the sympathy in the world will not MAKE somebody change their attitude. It may HELP, however.
 
Old 05-08-2009, 05:21 PM
 
4,384 posts, read 1,987,032 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RichardW View Post
"Self Love" is often times considered synonymous with "acceptance" of who you are. It is NOT the same thing as "ego". But accepting what you are like at the moment, making peace with it, understanding where you are now and picturing the desirable situation, then learning how to achieve it. It is largely about altering mind states, which are extremely powerful things.

Negative mind states, including self hatred, are self-perpetuating, as everything that will happen to you is a reflection of this mind state. Blaming everything on others is a way of weasiling out of the fact that one is perpetuating the problems with those very thoughts!!!
the only way people will ever accept me is if I am different.

IMO, it takes strength to acknowledge that.
 
Old 05-08-2009, 05:27 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 34,115,177 times
Reputation: 6704
You should spend more time alone and being your own best friend first.

Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
the only way people will ever accept me is if I am different.

IMO, it takes strength to acknowledge that.
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