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Old 05-04-2009, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Houston
875 posts, read 880,739 times
Reputation: 1153
Default Why are cooled tempered/mild mannered guys frowned upon?

Seems nowadays many young female can't distinguish between confidence and cockiness. I tend to be very polite in public, non-confrontational type of guy mainly because I'm usually by myself when I'm out. My ex would get upset with me and accuse me of flirting although its just in my nature to be polite/nice as much as possible. it just makes me feel good. She also said that she felt unsafe because of how nice I was. Ladies, please understand that no matter what type of guy you have, if his loved one is threatened he will do whatever is necessary to protect it. That being said, I see no need to have a **** poor attitude 24/7 and make people feel crappy just so she can feel safe. Where are all the eye-glass wearing/naturally beautiful/non-makup wearing women?
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Old 05-04-2009, 10:45 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,300,464 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
Where are all the eye-glass wearing/naturally beautiful/non-makup wearing women?
In their beds, 2 am, middle of their sleep
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Old 05-04-2009, 10:47 PM
 
3,843 posts, read 7,969,788 times
Reputation: 2424
She was jealous.

I personally don't blame her since most guys these days are polygamous.
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Old 05-04-2009, 10:55 PM
 
Location: Conway, Arkansas
108 posts, read 236,240 times
Reputation: 102
Wow, a polite and nice guy? Not many of those around anymore it seems! She was probably nervous because there are so few men like that out there that she thought someone would try and snatch you from her. She should've instead been grateful and happy that she found someone like that!

As for feeling unsafe, politeness from a man today can sometimes be seen as weakness. To me, being nice and courteous is a form of strength, because it takes someone who truly knows and is comfortable with themselves to be that way. I say don't worry about it, someday you'll find someone who truly appreciates you and won't be uncomfortable with who you are.
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Old 05-04-2009, 11:10 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,511 posts, read 11,440,791 times
Reputation: 9092
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
Seems nowadays many young female can't distinguish between confidence and cockiness. I tend to be very polite in public, non-confrontational type of guy mainly because I'm usually by myself when I'm out. My ex would get upset with me and accuse me of flirting although its just in my nature to be polite/nice as much as possible. it just makes me feel good. She also said that she felt unsafe because of how nice I was. Ladies, please understand that no matter what type of guy you have, if his loved one is threatened he will do whatever is necessary to protect it. That being said, I see no need to have a **** poor attitude 24/7 and make people feel crappy just so she can feel safe. Where are all the eye-glass wearing/naturally beautiful/non-makup wearing women?
It's funny how this ends in the aesthetics of a woman--and specifically at that--kind of tears away from the alleged purpose of the post--but I digress.

I don't understand why when someone encounters someone whom they feel is this way or that way towards them about a specific thing, they don't just move on to someone who's more mature in that regard. Why make issues of it and pretend we think all men or all women are this way when we all know it (the origin of the problem you precieve) can't be blanketed. It belongs to no one group in particular.
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Old 05-04-2009, 11:14 PM
 
Location: Houston
875 posts, read 880,739 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
It's funny how this ends in the aesthetics of a woman--and specifically at that--kind of tears away from the alleged purpose of the post--but I digress.

I don't understand why when someone encounters someone whom they feel is this way or that way towards them about a specific thing, they don't just move on to someone who's more mature in that regard. Why make issues of it and pretend we think all men or all women are this way when we all know it (the origin of the problem you precieve) can't be blanketed. It belongs to no one group in particular.
I guess it could be taken as a blanket statement and I'm fully aware that the issue exists in both camps. My post was to garner a sense as to whether a good percentage of women consider a polite man a weak one. Could have been worded better but we are adults and I'm sure we are all literate. If you felt it was a blanket statement i apologize. Also note that I stated many, not most or all. Many can still be a small percentage but in my dating experiences this is what I've come across.
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Old 05-05-2009, 06:15 AM
 
4,384 posts, read 1,793,109 times
Reputation: 1612
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
Seems nowadays many young female can't distinguish between confidence and cockiness. I tend to be very polite in public, non-confrontational type of guy mainly because I'm usually by myself when I'm out. My ex would get upset with me and accuse me of flirting although its just in my nature to be polite/nice as much as possible. it just makes me feel good. She also said that she felt unsafe because of how nice I was. Ladies, please understand that no matter what type of guy you have, if his loved one is threatened he will do whatever is necessary to protect it. That being said, I see no need to have a **** poor attitude 24/7 and make people feel crappy just so she can feel safe. Where are all the eye-glass wearing/naturally beautiful/non-makup wearing women?
Well, niceness is kind of looked down on in contemporary culture.

A nice person is sometimes seen as lacking a spine and essentially a ***** doormat, or is only nice since they have a sinister agenda behind the niceness.

i say be you, and it's healthy you are proud of you. if a girl, doesn't like it, screw her (not necessarily literally though lol).
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Old 05-05-2009, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh's 'EAST SIDE'
2,043 posts, read 3,113,790 times
Reputation: 2600
Most most cool tempered/mild mannered guys I've been with were boring....I'm talking SNOOZEFESTS. I personally need a guy with more of an 'edge', that I can't walk all over because I can be very controlling and bossy. Not saying there is anything wrong with cool tempered/mild mannered guys, but they're just not for me..
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Old 05-05-2009, 12:49 PM
 
2,393 posts, read 2,321,240 times
Reputation: 1758
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Mizz Pittsburgh View Post
Most most cool tempered/mild mannered guys I've been with were boring....I'm talking SNOOZEFESTS. I personally need a guy with more of an 'edge', that I can't walk all over because I can be very controlling and bossy. Not saying there is anything wrong with cool tempered/mild mannered guys, but they're just not for me..
You can be cool tempered and mild mannered without being walked over,just because a man doesnt fit your need of constant soap opera drama in a relationship doesnt mean hes spineless ..

Hes probably just smart and realizes its not worth fighting every tiny battle with a women or youll get an ulcer real fast..
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Old 05-05-2009, 01:05 PM
 
4,838 posts, read 4,912,122 times
Reputation: 2893
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
My post was to garner a sense as to whether a good percentage of women consider a polite man a weak one.
They probably do. This is another "nice guy" thread and if it gets going, it should bring out the really caustic comments about how most women can't stand such men. Not all, of course, but you are setting yourself up for pretty stiff competition if you follow this path. And a proportion only claim to like these characteristics, because they have no other option.

Other factors and what the general opinion is:

Frugal and avoids debt = cheap

Plans for the future = boring

Strives to get an education = egghead

Friendly and even tempered = wimp

Takes responsability for his actions = sucker

Doesn't use women so therefore has little "experience" = pervert

Reliable. Likes quiet enjoyment of life = weirdo

Basically, if you want to add to this list, find out what women complain about when they b|tch about their ex. This is the one time most women really value "nice guy" characteristics in a man.
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