Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think chivalry is kind of silly anyhow, and a bit degrading to women.
Well the more effeminate men seem to become in this society chivalry does seem kind of dead, but I would hardly say it's degrading to women! That seems like an excuse to me.
In my experience it tells me alot about a perspective partner as her take on this subject. I have seen girls/women where it has been 50/50. To me this shows unselfesshness a quality I admire. Then on the other hand at times I have paid more than 50 in a relationship/date/s. I am a high earner, but even If I wasn't I would NEVER expect to pay less than 50/50 in any sort of relationship and I expect the same from a partner. Why? stems well beyond the money itself.....pride, caring, unselfishness....Important qualities.
Maybe. I don't purport to understand what goes on inside a woman's mind, especially when it comes to social mores.
Same here, we don't even begin to understand, how it is, why it is, for men either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory
I focus more on being a good conversationalist, being kind and gracious - when a date becomes irrational or hostile over dating protocol, I know that it is time to move on.
When is it okay for a man to take money from a woman?
When all his other options have been exhausted. Meaning, he went to friends, family, and close co-workers first. He has tried absolutely everything possible to try to get WHATEVER situation taken care of first, but to no avail.
In my experience it tells me alot about a perspective partner as her take on this subject. I have seen girls/women where it has been 50/50. To me this shows unselfesshness a quality I admire. Then on the other hand at times I have paid more than 50 in a relationship/date/s. I am a high earner, but even If I wasn't I would NEVER expect to pay less than 50/50 in any sort of relationship and I expect the same from a partner. Why? stems well beyond the money itself.....pride, caring, unselfnessness....Important qualities.
It is after the dating and you have said your, for better of worse, vows...you both are employed, now what? Financially 50/50 and she is still unselfish and you feel on top of the world at her wonderment.
When does a man realize even without her, he still has a responsibility to take care of all. Or does it ever happen.... that he says, 'you know what, you earned it, do something nice for yourself, I got this.
It is after the dating and you have said your, for better of worse, vows...you both are employed, now what? Financially 50/50 and she is still unselfish and you feel on top of the world at her wonderment.
When does a man realize even without her, he still has a responsibility to take care of all. Or does it ever happen.... that he says, 'you know what, you earned it, do something nice for yourself, I got this.
Wouldn't know never been married, so I'm sure there are other people better qualified to comment on that here. But personally I wouldn't have a problem being the earner in the relationship and having her take care of other aspects. For example keeping the house clean, looking after the kids and that is the big one.....If there are no children then there is no need for her not to be earning too and contributing 50/50, I'm not after a princess and don't know many males who are! Children changes it all though.
Some one mentioned about, 'it was how their husband was raised'.
My parents were 20 years past the generation of parents of the generation I was raised. Saying they were born 1919/1920 and they were 40/41 when I was adopted @ birth.
My father worked as a machinist. He had a college certification and took that up as the preferred way of making a living. When he passed away he had all of his fingers in tack. So there's his resume so to speak and in that you can also know he took great care in all that he endowed to do.
My mother was a beautician licensed, yet she never worked. She always kept her licensed renewed prepared for the day that she may be needed to work. Although daddy was never going to let that happen.
My sister thought my mother should have worked and took part of the burden off of my father. In her opinion, our mother was lazy. She didn't see it on the part of daddy and how he would have felt about it.
My brother I don't know of his opinion on it. I can only see through his actions as he has a woman that has lived with him for around 14 years now. They have never married and he has never requested of her to work. He is the sole provider. (our father's influence maybe)
So I do not see it from either of those men that it is ever appropriate for a man to take money from a woman, married or not....
Women too, please respond with your view point of my question, as well.
When is it okay for a man to take money from a woman?
Educate me and bring me into the Millennium.
In 1994 a man told me in conversation that, "it was an abomination for a man to take money from a woman."
Men do you agree with this man? If so why? If not why?
Whenever I have ever repeated to a man something that another man has told me, but I leave out the gender, I usually get, 'yea well that's what women think and they are wrong.' Then there is the screwed up expression on their face when I say, 'a man told me that'. They usually come back with a, 'no, I doubt that'.
When is it okay for a man to take money from a woman? This inquiring mind wants to know?
Thank you for your generous response.
Renee
Renee,
The answer is never.
Even in a marriage I don't know too many men asking their wive's for money. I don't. I usually pay the clerk and walk away and she ALWAYS gets the change that's coming back to me.
If a man is asking for or taking money from you....you had better watch out cause he is using you.
So I do not see it from either of those men that it is ever appropriate for a man to take money from a woman, married or not....
What's changed, the way we were raised?
Or did it really change? That Chivalry died?
Yes, I believe that Chivalry died with the advent of feminism, but that is another topic.
I have a hard time connecting, "Taking/accepting money from a woman" and Chivalry. The two seem unrelated. In the great depression, if the whole family had to pick cotton (mom included) just to survive, was that declared "Unchivalrous"?
Accepting labor is no different than accepting money; after all, money is nothing more than the fruit of one's labor.
Sorry for responding to a Men Only thread but here's my .02 cents.
I don't see how a woman has a right to a man's wages on principle alone. If she's giving up her career to take care of the kids etc. then that's a different story.
A man who earns a living and makes sure his wife or SO doesn't have to is one way to be chivalrous, but then again some people back in time thought chivalry involved being discreet about visiting a whorehouse or having affairs- some still think this way too.
Quote:
1:valiant
2: of, relating to, or characteristic of chivalry and knight-errantry
3a: marked by honor, generosity, and courtesy
b: marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women
I prefer a partnership rooted in the Goldern Rule.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's a new day with new ideals
