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I am a 35 year old female. After being in a long term relationship for a few years I was celibate for about 2 and a half years; I wasn't threw with dating I just didn't want to jump into a sexual relationship. I take good care of myself, I am attractive and I like to think I have a great personality.
So here is my story, I will try to keep it PG-13: I met a 38 year old divorced father of (I'll leave that number blank) children (I have no kids). I enjoyed the conversation and his company he said the same. He wanted sex the first week we met...that was too soon for me. So after about 3 months of dating I finally felt comfortable enough to sleep with him (and no I wasn't trying to follow any 90 day no sex rule, that's just how long it took)...this was following a conversation where he said he really liked me & wanted to take things slow as to not ruin the friendship part (although he seemed to be in a rush the first week)...but after a night out he invited me back to his place and it happened.
The problem is after sleeping with me he has not called and did not respond to my one phone call....of course I am pissed and disappointed because I believed what he said......I'm feeling insecure because I hadn't had sex in over two years and I thought maybe it was me....maybe I wasn't good, like my vajayjay malfunctioned or something.......but we had sex twice that night...he was the one who intiated round two and wanted a third round but I had to leave...it was late and I had to get up early.
So for the men out there was it me???? I mean is a man going to want to have sex with a woman three times in a night if the sex isn't actually good to them. Yes I am hurt because he's ignoring me but this is making me feel really insecure. I know it's silly and I probably shouldnt care but this is a serious question. I don't have no-strings-attached sex so the no calling after sex thing has never happened to me; actually I haven't had that many sexual partners for my age. Thanks.
How long ago did you sleep together?
If it's been a week and he hasn't called, then the guy's a dirtbag.
If it was last night, then give it a bit more time!
Was it good for you? If it wasn't good for you, then it's possible it wasn't great for him. Doesn't have to be your fault - maybe he's no good in the sack, or you just weren't compatiable?
In response to both replies so far; I had sex with him last Tuesday still no response. Actually it wasn't that great for me but it wasn't horrible if that makes sense, meaning I think it would have gotten better. Maybe we aren't compatible but seems like he would have stopped at round 1 that's why I'm confused.....also I did call him I know some "experts" say wait for the man to do all the calling. I sent a text msg the next day (nothing serious just an afternoon hello from work, could this have freaked him out that bad?) and didn't call him until Sunday, I left a voicemail and wasn't rude just wanted to know what was up although I was already pretty sure he may be in the "dirtbag" category has Hobokenkitchen said, I was hoping not though.
After waiting 3 months for sex possible the sex wasn't
What he thought it would be (Hot and nasty sex) “Cause you
Yourself said it wasn't that good from your end, so my be
It wasn't good for him either, that is why he won’t answer
Your calls he might feel he needs to end it before the feelings
get to heavy.
I wouldn’t worry about him that much move on and meet
Mr. Right he is out there.
but anyways. Give it time. He probably knows you want him to call you, that is why he is not calling. He WANTS you to feel insecure. He'll call in a couple days probably.
Sorry to hear that this dude is a dirtbag.. but call him what he is.. a dirtbag.. You need to go ahead and just move on.. As somone else said.. mister right is out there.. you were right in keeping your vajayjay to yourself and maybe the right thing would have been to keep it to yourself.. as you know.. most (not all) men stop hunting after the kill.. and this could be one of those times. I could be wrong.. but I dont think so.. (unless he is sitting in jail right now and you are unaware of it)
If and when he does call, don't take his call right away. He's the one who threw cold water on this relationship, make him wait. Let him see how it feels. I know that sounds like a silly game, but you do not want to give him the upper hand by seeming desperate or that you were waiting by the phone. Let him kiss your ass for awhile and earn it. He's purposely not calling you either because he lost interest after the sex (could be any one of a dozen reasons why) or he's playing you and trying to build some anticipation and insecurity in you. Regardless, what he's doing is not very mature and you can anticipate more games from this guy in the future.
Well, to be honest, lately the whole sex/feelings topic makes my head spin, im not sure of anything anymore BUT, there something i think u should think about: did u give the best of u?. If u did, theres nothing else u can do, if u feel like it, call him again ONCE more, just a simple:" how are u, haven't hear from u, give me a call one of this days", something that makes him feel u are interested but NOT desperated. Theres too many factors here to just worry about u being the posible fault that put this to an end.
P.S. and ofcourse the "dirtbag" label is never used to much >_<
Honestly, I can't imagine not wanting to call you back by at least the next morning. I'll never understand how or why other guys do this stuff.
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Move on
