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Works well for my SO and I. I work nights while he is a dayshifter who works the occassional afternoon. Early in the relationship we would spend time together in the evenings before I went to work (early dinner if I went in at 7, early dinner and movie if I went in at 11) and in the mornings when I got off work if he didn't work early (lots of breakfast dates). We also have our days off. Now we live together so spending time together is much easier but if both people are flexible it is very possible to date while working different shifts.
i can go one better. Imagine dating someone who works alternate early and late weeks with a non fixed schedule - commuter train driver in the UK. This means work can start anytime from 3am and finish anytime up to 2am with no two days alike as evryday is allocated a different shift with its own unique times.
She hates it and us not spending anything other than weekends together. I don't mind it (don't like or dislike). I know it sounds awful and we rarely see each other during the week. I see her maybe a half hour every day in the evening before work.
It is hard sleeping during the day but it is nice getting a great nights (days) sleep without being disturbed or disturbing her. Also, when I wake up in the early afternoon it is nice being able to run errands and also hobbies.
Relationships like this can work but it takes work, more work than usual. And a lot of love. so-so or rocky relationships will not last under these conditions!
Relationships like this can work but it takes work, more work than usual. And a lot of love. so-so or rocky relationships will not last under these conditions!
Very true.It shows a lot of commitment. However, as per the OPs original question, its a big ask especially when just starting to date someone. Its almost understandable if someone walks away!
Im realising the social cost of my job is too high and am initiating a long winded 5 year plan to change jobs, or career path if I have to, as I feel my job will ask even more of any relationship I may have especially when children are later thrown into the mix. Imagine the childcare juggle!
Work/life balance is very important. Maybe more important than financial reward.
i can go one better. Imagine dating someone who works alternate early and late weeks with a non fixed schedule - commuter train driver in the UK. This means work can start anytime from 3am and finish anytime up to 2am with no two days alike as evryday is allocated a different shift with its own unique times.
That's how it is with my boyfriend. He'd be ready to pack it in at midnight and I'd want to dance until dawn. I'm used to being up literally until the crack of dawn. We had some "talks" about my unrealistic expectation that he'd party with me. I had to compromise and get used to going in earlier although I didn't go to sleep. Based on my experience I'd say you have to work it out and see each other most on the weekends. Doing it wiith kids seems like a nightmare if you can't get a nanny.
It takes lots of planning and understanding to make it work. If you can it can be a great experience. The 9 years I have worked these hours, they have flown by.
*hfft* You think night shift is hard on relationships, how about your health? Besides raising the risks of obesity, heart disease and diabetes (Night Shift Work Hard on the Heart - Forbes.com (http://www.forbes.com/feeds/hscout/2009/03/02/hscout624659.html - broken link)) , NOW a cancer scare has been linked
Both my mate and I are night shifters. I get check ups and blood tests every 6 months because my Dr has been alarmed at how the schedule has affected my blood pressure and iron levels. Now, if she doesn't get a yearly report of a mammogram, I get a scolding from her.
And - yes - we are working on getting away from that schedule. During the winter, I rarely see the sun. I look like a character from "Twilight" by the time spring rolls around ... well ... without the sparkles
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