She sits down close by in a large, empty cafe/bar: what do I do or say? (how to, girls)

[Digital Entropy]

You should think about studying the history of different types of drinks, this way next time this happens, you can go all Gil Grissom on whatever she orders. Don't look at her though! Just keep your attention on whatever you're doing, use an interesting hook, whatever the most interesting fact is, like "You know, only Kings used to be able to drink that when it was first introduced" then, casual sideways glance in her direction, see if it piqued her interest, then turn your attention to her fully and continue explaining, introduce yourself and take it from there.

Carrying around volumes of seemingly useless information has benefited me many a time in life.

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by Digital Entropy

You should think about studying the history of different types of drinks, this way next time this happens, you can go all Gil Grissom on whatever she orders. Don't look at her though! Just keep your attention on whatever you're doing, use an interesting hook, whatever the most interesting fact is, like "You know, only Kings used to be able to drink that when it was first introduced" then, casual sideways glance in her direction, see if it piqued her interest, then turn your attention to her fully and continue explaining, introduce yourself and take it from there.

Carrying around volumes of seemingly useless information has benefited me many a time in life.

LOL Smoooooothe.

[Blondie621]

I would have just said to her, "hi, for a minute there I thought you were gonna just sit on my lap"!

All kidding aside, try to make a comment on what she is reading. Just friendly talk!

[desertsun41]

That was a whole lot of advice so far. But before advice on what to say is in order I believe many women are going to places like that to be alone. Guys go to meet gals. That gal wanted nothing to do with people. If she was peakng at you rather then meeting eyes then she was only checking to see if you were looking. Gals do that ya know. Call them
exhibitionists even but gals want to be looked at. Men want to look. But most women in book shops or cafes are just there for the thrill of being seen and admired. Many more yet are married and want to be admired again because their husband dont anymore.

I dont believe you had a fighting chance at anything more then a hello with her. Those kind might have responded with a hello to your hello but you would have had to pry every word from her from that point on.

Good luck though......................

[Digital Entropy]

Originally Posted by desertsun41

That was a whole lot of advice so far. But before advice on what to say is in order I believe many women are going to places like that to be alone. Guys go to meet gals. That gal wanted nothing to do with people. If she was peakng at you rather then meeting eyes then she was only checking to see if you were looking. Gals do that ya know. Call them
exhibitionists even but gals want to be looked at. Men want to look. But most women in book shops or cafes are just there for the thrill of being seen and admired. Many more yet are married and want to be admired again because their husband dont anymore.

I dont believe you had a fighting chance at anything more then a hello with her. Those kind might have responded with a hello to your hello but you would have had to pry every word from her from that point on.

Good luck though......................

I dunno, maybe it's different in different areas but usually around here the only time a woman would sit so close to someone with no possible hint of wanting to interact is if every other seat in the place was taken and they had no choice, and if they really want to be alone your presence won't even garner so much as a glance from them.

It's also a lot easier nowadays when you can just listen to your iPod or fiddle with your phone to let the world know you're not interested in anything it has to offer in that particular location.

[wanneroo]

Originally Posted by ulnevrwalkalone

Go over to the jukebox, put on "You've Lost that loving Feeling" and go top gun on her ass, it works everytime

Oh yeah I use it all the time.

[20yrsinBranson]

Originally Posted by Cyanosphere

Damn, if I could kick my own ass I would.

Something happened today (that happens to me now and again).

I like to hang out in cafes and bars (not the wild, party ones) just to read or study. However, sometimes a pretty girl will walk in and sit just a seat away from me in my plain of view, right in front of me, even when the place is near empty and there's plenty of other empty seats and tables.

Are they saying "I'm interested" if they sit close by in my sight? I'm usually engrossed in my book, magazine or newspaper, but sometimes when I'm looking down, I'll see them turning their head my way, and when I look up, they quickly look away.

What should I do? What should I say in this situation? (And please, don't tell me the same old "just say hi," I'd like something a little more in depth and creative than that)

This girl who did it today, I thought about trying to smoothly and slyly say "So... plenty of open seats around... Any particular reason you're sitting so close?"

I thought it would sound charming, but I was so nervous every time I tried to speak up, I froze up and if I forced it, it would have come out awkward (and possibly sounding hostile)

A "HI" is more than sufficient. If you start trying to think of witticisms you're going to sound cheesy at best. Just say HI and smile and wait for her to say something next.

If she is shy, then you might make a comment about what she is eating, drinking, reading, etc. Just small talk.

20yrsinBranson

[wanneroo]

The main thing OP is to start a conversation without making it look like a pick up. In other words remove the romantic equation from your mind for a moment as that will make you do some stupid stuff. Just approach from a friend point of view, say hello and go from there. Women always have their defenses up to being picked up so don't act like you are picking them up.

The other thing you can do is have or read something that will start a conversation from the woman. One of my tricks in the bookstore is to go to the sex section and pick out a book and walk around with it or read it at the cafe. I had remarkable success with cunnilingus books. I think there was one called "the art of cunnilingus" that i did quite well with. I remember that one snowy day I had every woman in the store including the employees paw me to have a chat. Yes did well with that.

[Niceguy89]

Somebody mensioned "being corny"...is that really a good thing...I mean if im showing intrest in an undirect but obvious way("hello, come here often?)...will the signal be "loser" or "sweet"?

I mean she'll instantly know I'm hitting on her...but she'll also know I'm not an experienced "use-seduce and leave" predator, right?

[samston]

Originally Posted by Cyanosphere

Damn, if I could kick my own ass I would.

Something happened today (that happens to me now and again).

I like to hang out in cafes and bars (not the wild, party ones) just to read or study. However, sometimes a pretty girl will walk in and sit just a seat away from me in my plain of view, right in front of me, even when the place is near empty and there's plenty of other empty seats and tables.

Are they saying "I'm interested" if they sit close by in my sight? I'm usually engrossed in my book, magazine or newspaper, but sometimes when I'm looking down, I'll see them turning their head my way, and when I look up, they quickly look away.

What should I do? What should I say in this situation? (And please, don't tell me the same old "just say hi," I'd like something a little more in depth and creative than that)

This girl who did it today, I thought about trying to smoothly and slyly say "So... plenty of open seats around... Any particular reason you're sitting so close?"

I thought it would sound charming, but I was so nervous every time I tried to speak up, I froze up and if I forced it, it would have come out awkward (and possibly sounding hostile)

A few points come to mind:

- learn more confidence. simply go over and make a comment about what she is drinking, wearing, etc. start with some small talk and introduce yourself.

- don't ask closed questions, i.e. questions with a yes or no answer.