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If you're more than six months or a year out of college and still living at home most will look at you like a chump. Yes, life with bills if hard for a while but it ignites a visceral spark that turns you into an adult.
For me, it's a dealbreaker barring some specific circumstances. I live in a high cost of living area where most people live with roommates until they are married or in their 30s (and often, live with roommates their whole lives if they stay single). However, it's still very rare for people my age (25) to still be living at home.
And for me personally, I have gone through a lot without the help of my parents and don't know how I would relate to someone who lives at home. I was diagnosed with cancer a month after my 23rd birthday and my parents made it clear that they "could not afford" to have me come home for treatments - nor did they chose to visit me from 1000 miles away. That meant I needed to work full time through 6 months of chemo in order to pay my rent, medical bills, etc. Few people have been through that sort of situation, but I simply can't relate to someone who lives at home.
The one pass I gave was on a friend who has serious health issues. We dated for about 6 months, and he has lived at home since he was 19 (now 26) because he does not have enough "good days" to work. He is a freelance photographer (a big departure from the pre-med ROTC student he was before getting sick) and works when he can, but not enough to pay for even 1 bedroom in someone's house (which around here is around $700 a month).
He does pay SOMETHING toward rent to his mom. That's a non-negotiable to me - you must be paying your parents for rent, utilities, and essentially have a roommate type set up. If your mom is still doing your laundry and you're living rent free then see ya..
ok im 25, i live with my parents. If i were to tell a girl this- would it be a deal-breaker?
I think it really depends on why you're living with them and what your plan is. If you're doing it while you get through grad school so you don't rack up more student loan debt, i think many would be okay with that. If you're caring for an ailing elderly parent, most would be okay with that. (Then again, most parents of 25-year-olds aren't elderly enough to need that.) Even if you're getting back on your feet after a hospital bill or layoff or something, some might be okay with that at your age. In any of these situations, though, you want to show that you have a plan for getting out on your own as soon as possible. It's not that hard to make enough to split an apartment with a couple of roommates, even in the most expensive cities.
I am sorry but if the person who is under 30 is living at home helping out, paying bills, trying to save up and move out then I don't see an issue. Anyone who thinks it is an issue and won't date you because of that is shallow....plain and simple. I would understand if the person is lazy and has no initiative to move out and simply mooches off their parents then its a different story. Chances are you will move out eventually but in this economy its been tough for a lot of 20 something's so I understand.
In this economy with so many people out of jobs and the ones they find do not make enough to support themselves we are going see a lot more people moving back home.
Last edited by Storm Eagle; 02-01-2014 at 09:17 PM..
Reason: wanted to change it
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