Will anyone admit they love their husband/wife more than their kids? (girlfriend, how to)

[steelstress]

I figure, if you can't put your spouse first without meeting your children's needs, then you have no business being a spouse AND parent.... just one or the other.

[smartalx]

Wow. The results of this poll are really depressing to me.

[Rhaven]

I love my husband and my children on equal footing, however the love I feel for them can not be compared to one another. They are different types of love. I can not love my children the way I love my spouse, and I can not love my spouse the way I love my children.

[MyssaTx]

your husband/wife comes first always

[FormerCaliforniaGirl]

Originally Posted by zonababe

Wrong, the happiest marriages have no children.

I agree. I have no children, and I adore my husband. To me, that is bliss.

[Giesela]

I just heard an NPR interview with a woman who wrote a book
Ayelet Waldman's Memoir of a Bad Mother
Ayelet Waldman's Memoir Of A 'Bad Mother' : NPR

where she recounts an assignment her editor gave her on married couples sex life because she was the only one in the office who still had a good sex life. She says something about although she loves her kids like crazy - she hasn't shifted her whole self and life and married relationship to them like many women seem to do.
I don't mean to poke sticks at anyone particular posting here, but over the years I've found it interesting that all the parents who confidently, loudly and boldly gush that they would give their lives for their children - dont even seem to be able to stay married for their children (or give up many other foibles that impact their childrens well-being). I'm not saying they wouldn't jump into a river to save their kid, I'm saying I'm not sure how big a deal that is compared to all the other sacrifices in the day to day grind of family relationships and child rearing.
I feel that kids will generally raise themselves given the basics, most importantly good role models.

In other words, if parents have a great loving marriage I think the children have a better chance of having one over kids who have two separate parents who don't have a great loving marriage that dote on the kids separately.

[The Man in SATX]

Originally Posted by Giesela

I just heard an NPR interview with a woman who wrote a book
Ayelet Waldman's Memoir of a Bad Mother
Ayelet Waldman's Memoir Of A 'Bad Mother' : NPR

where she recounts an assignment her editor gave her on married couples sex life because she was the only one in the office who still had a good sex life. She says something about although she loves her kids like crazy - she hasn't shifted her whole self and life and married relationship to them like many women seem to do.
I don't mean to poke sticks at anyone particular posting here, but over the years I've found it interesting that all the parents who confidently, loudly and boldly gush that they would give their lives for their children - dont even seem to be able to stay married for their children (or give up many other foibles that impact their childrens well-being). I'm not saying they wouldn't jump into a river to save their kid, I'm saying I'm not sure how big a deal that is compared to all the other sacrifices in the day to day grind of family relationships and child rearing.
I feel that kids will generally raise themselves given the basics, most importantly good role models.

In other words, if parents have a great loving marriage I think the children have a better chance of having one over kids who have two separate parents who don't have a great loving marriage that dote on the kids separately.

Couldnt have said it better myself.. reps for ya!

[The Man in SATX]

Originally Posted by smartalx

Wow. The results of this poll are really depressing to me.

Uh yea.. most people put their kids in front of the SO.. and are disappointed later in life.. when that kid isnt around to spoon feed em.. now that they are no longer married to the spouse they ignored while raising the children..

A mean life cycle to me..

Kind of reminds me why I divorced my ex.. who never gave me the attention... and then later in life regretted it.. because she too.. said.. the children should always be first.. I granted her her wish.. all she had were the children (but they now dont even go see her)... after I was done.

[killer2021]

This is a good reason on why you shouldn't have kids. She'll love the kids more than you. Your job there is just to pay for them.

I'll pass ladies, thanks for the offer though.

Been saying it for years, women view men as walking wallets and sperm donors.

[Rhett_Butler]

Originally Posted by The Man in SATX

Uh yea.. most people put their kids in front of the SO.. and are disappointed later in life.. when that kid isnt around to spoon feed em.. now that they are no longer married to the spouse they ignored while raising the children..

You have statistics on this??? No??? didn't think so.

I apologize to all here for my previous response. I'll give the PC answer:

"OMG!!! I cannot believe that this question would be asked!!! Dear me don't you understand that the types of relationships are different and that we love ALL of our family 100% equally, but differently??!! That you would ask this screams that you simply don't understand the family dynamic or life in general!!!"

Whatever, gag me...... When I answer a question like this I search my soul and give a 100% honest answer after deep consideration...

Honestly (since we're being judgemental on each other's answers and all) I find it pathetic that you think great love for one's children is somehow wasted since kids go on to lead their own lives when they move out.... HOW that child or children lead their lives IS the reward. We don't do it to reap some great benefit FROM our kids later or because we expect anything in return......

Beyond that there is some sort of assumption that one who admits to a greater love for one's children MUST do so in lieu of loving their spouse... Not sure where you found that inferred in the question, but your criticisms imply that this is how you see it....