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Is your (or someone you know) largest goals in life are to be married and have a family? I ask because a co-worker thinks that this is all that some women want, and not too much more out of that.
I discussed this with my Mom, and she told me that her goals were similar. She wanted to be a secretary, and after school, she went to school for it. After that she wanted to be a wife and mother, and 10 kids later, she's done that. Now in her retirement she has some light pursuits.
Is this how some women think, and is it valid? I find it kind of hard to believe that that's all some people want. Is it a lack of motivation or laziness? Not saying my mother was lazy, because she was far from it. She worked and raised a family. I just feel in this day and age it'd be different.
Strangely enough, it never was. I got married reluctantly because I needed a work permit so my boyfriend and I could be together after being separated by an ocean for 5 long years. Suddenly at age 30 my biological clock went off very loudly, and I had 2 kids over the next 6 years. Now I am divorced with full custody, and although I love my kids, I have no plans to ever marry again.
My only sister never married, and my two best girlfriends are unmarried and childless. Both of my daughters (17 and 11) are career-driven, and never have talked much about weddings, husbands or babies.
When I was younger -- in my teens and 20s -- I expected that someday I'd be a wife and a mother. Society sort of foists that expectation off on women. I was a wife for a while, but children were not in the cards for me.
Now I'm in my late 30s and my goal in life is to be happy, to always move forward, to go out of this world a better, wiser, more fully-realized version of myself than I was when I came into it.
If another marriage comes my way, fine. If motherhood comes my way -- through adoption, perhaps, or being a stepmom or a foster parent -- then fine. But I no longer consider marriage and children to be "goals."
Truth is, I wanted it all: the family, the career, a social life, a doctorate, all of it. But in reality, it's tough to do everything well. At some point, you have to make choices, maybe work part-time (as I did), maybe turn the kids over to grandma during the day, whatever works. In the end, you can't be everywhere, all the time.
I met all my 'career' goals at age 24, when I completed my first year teaching and already had my masters degree. Now, I am 26, and finding that there are many more 'career' dreams in my future..more school (Phd), teaching at the college level to help train teachers...however, those dreams have come as a result of not being in a relationship or being married.
My ultimate dream is to be a wife and mother. I know I will be happy if that does not happen, but I believe I will not fulfill my lifelong pursuit of being joyous unless I get to have a family of my own.
No not at all. If it happens then it happens, and if it doesn't then I won't cry a river (or even a tear). It is not difficult at all to get married and have kids (assuming you're not reproductively challenged). However finding a good husband, raising kids successfully, and being happy with your marriage and family are worthy goals. But since that is so unpredictable I don't think it is good for someone to make those their only goals.
I never imagined I would be married or have children. It was never my dream. I wanted to be in the military and/or law enforcement. I always pictured myself single and protecting people.
Then I met my husband. Once we got serious, I then realized I wanted to have a family with HIM. Although I went down a different path, I definitely feel blessed.
I never really set these items as 'goals'. My son wasn't planned, so obviously being a mom wasn't a goal at the time...even though I can't imagine my life without him now. As far as being a wife is concerned, I believe that people shouldn't necessarily set that as a goal. If they do, and if they're still not married by the time they're in their late 30s, they begin to settle and becoming more lenient on their standards. I would hate to do something like that.
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Once we got serious, I then realized I wanted to have a family with HIM. Although I went down a different path, I definitely feel blessed. 
