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No, following the Industrial Revolution and then again, following World War II the U.S. "kind of thrived". Obviously this didn't have much to do with marital ages. And if you're talking significant age differences, no, the average marrying couple were *both young* following WWII...read up on it. It's right there in black and white. Jillie saw Johnny off to war, waited for him, and then he came back and they married. Jillie didn't go for the older men still at home, generally/on average. There was a 3-year difference, a 5-year difference...but 15 years and more? That surely wasn't the average any more than it is today.
And by the way, women still marry slightly older men so why are awe not thriving now, if that was the cause of America being great (in hindsight, anyway)?
Note that that is "slightly." And yes. "Slightly" older can be very appealing (depending upon how old you both are to begin with). If you re-read my post, you'll see that I already said that.
But in virtually EVERY society where much-older (15-20 years plus) men have grabbed for young girls who lay there with their eyes squeezed as tightly as possible and tried to pretend it wasn't happening, throughout the millennia...you will also notice that there are always stories about Young Girl X getting caught in bed with Young Man Y (and being punished for it, naturally...oh noes! A biological drive for someone, well, attractive?). Right on through the "America is thriving" times.
BTW, why does everyone call me a feminist because I realize that younger men are much hotter in general than the average (non movie-star) older man??? Is that the only defense you have...to throw the feminist shoe at someone? You had to have seen me this morning in my pink robe (yes, it's pink) cooking pancakes for my children...OH RAGE ON, lol...
One doesn't have to be a feminist to realize that, from the woman's perspective, it is just...icky to sleep with *most* men who are Dad's or Grandpa's age, at least *after you are both a certain age*. IOW...it might not be gross to *some* 25-year-old women to sleep with 40-year-old men. But I'm sorry...men's sexiness peaks too...and then falls fast, for the average man. So say a 40-year-old woman sleeping with a 60-something man...well, suddenly it's not so "hot" any more. It's *possible* but it is by no means a biological drive and interest, gaaaaah, squick.
So sure, if a man is very rich and wants to snag a much younger woman who will then turn around on him as he's aging and cheat with the gardener...just as has been happening from time immemorial... ...except that nowadays, the woman doesn't get stoned to death or hanged or have her nose sliced for it but rather, will take the "older man's" assets (half, at least)...go for it! I'm nobody to stop anybody. But if you're talking actual biological drives, actual attraction, history and the current times alike bear out that it's the younger, stronger, tighter, cuter men that woman are attracted to just as is the reverse.
I'm not sure why this is all so hard to figure out.
the patriarchy made it thrive, feminism ruined it. its laws transfer mens wealth to women. when women die in droves on battlefields, build skyscrapers, and succeed without socialist benefits and affirmative action we can be equal. without men, you would be starving in dark, cold caves. now we're unnecessary?
cougars are a myth. if a younger, cuter, tighter woman wants him too, you're SOL. women can't be studs, you give them easy access NSA and to you that's empowerment. if we hook up with an uggo or waterbuffalo, our real friends laugh with us, same with old women, it's a guy thing. BTW, im 26
Oh, wait! D'oh. I see here that it's all because *only* 10% of the Sami exercised this 13+ year marital age difference. Otherwise, SURELY they would be an incredibly successful culture worldwide. Right? (Though Europeans have had less of a mean age difference -- this being generally a thing of the tiny upper class v. the hugely-populated lower class[es] -- and somehow have managed to expand to virtually every corner of the globe...hmmm.)
Also, the 10% v. 90% apparently not marrying with that large an age difference seems to point to the fact that it almost doesn't matter how rich or successful a man is...once he's getting REALLY old, he just can't land the girl.
Sorry. "Very much older man" myth busted....again.
Hi JerZ,
Now all you need to do is find anyone espousing the "very much older man" theory instead of the somewhat older man that starts out with a small gap in youth, but widening to about a decade in middle age. The decade gap applies to new relationships. Then of course the discussion is not just about what men get, but what they want.
Point in fact is 15 years is optimal for men. Slow lumbering prey animals are optimal for predators too. The trouble is they adapt to run. The reason we do not see more of 15 year age gaps is it is likely not optimal for women and/or the tribal level else we would see more of it. Thus men compromise when they are not in an optimal position. I have typically suggested the natural gap to be a few years in youth and widening with age.
The current same age relationships are artificially inflated due to the co-ed educational system.
Sandy is 46. She is not a knockout- she is a pretty 46 yr old. She does not dress sexy, but very nice casual attire. She says the attitudes of men her age towards her started shifting around her late 30s. It got worse as she got older. It is everywhere - in the grocery store, at work etc. It is real, no way men give same attention to 40 yr olds as 25 yr olds. It's only an observation, not something a woman doesn't notice.
Well, try to think like a man. If I want kids then I would definitely want someone younger than 35. So she's out for that kind of men. If I want a ONS then I can get a wasted 25 year old at a bar. Why would I want a 46 year old?
Quote:
Well, put yourself in a man's shoes for a moment...
15-year old girl (with no car) rejects 15-year old boy (with no car) for the 17-year old senior on the varsity football team with a car. Unless, of course, the 15-year old boy is exceptionally attractive. That's not fair.
18-year old girl rejects 18-year old college freshman for 20-year old pre-med college junior. Unless, of course, the 18-year old freshman is exceptionally attractive. That's not fair.
24-year old girl (who's broke) rejects 24-year old MBA student (who's also broke) for 28-year old investment banker at Morgan Stanley earning six figures. Unless, of course, the 22-year old MBA student is exceptionally attractive. That's not fair.
Men go through the same thing too. It's awfully funny that you don't hear women complain about older men liking younger women when they're in their 20s. It's not until age starts to work against women that they get upset about men liking younger women. Here's the silver lining:
Women like tall men. But most men are not tall, never have been, and never will be.
Men like young women. All women have been "young" at some point in their lives. That's a leg up on men, I think.
Take it for what it's worth. Live with it.
YES. That's the reason. Men can always get younger girls. Ask Sandy is she dated older men in her 20s or 30s. If she did then she contributed to her own problem.
I don't think I get hotter as I age. It's just that there are fewer desirable men compared to women as we all age; therefore by default I appear in many ways to finally be crossing from undesirable to barely acceptable to acceptable to good catch.
I think it's short sighted for anyone to say that if there's no initial attraction then it wouldn't work or if the person doesn't match up to some criteria immediately then they're not the person. How many initial attractions have grown into no chemistry and break ups? Quite a few. People should be willing to sometimes acknowledge that they miss noticing someone who would be a great match because they start with too superficial critieria , dismiss someone to quickly, or search for the wrong things.
Last edited by Sidda; 03-18-2011 at 12:08 PM..
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...except that nowadays, the woman doesn't get stoned to death or hanged or have her nose sliced for it but rather, will take the "older man's" assets (half, at least)...go for it! I'm nobody to stop anybody. But if you're talking actual biological drives, actual attraction, history and the current times alike bear out that it's the younger, stronger, tighter, cuter men that woman are attracted to just as is the reverse.
