She feels invisible to men her age (married, women, love)

[tamajane]

My friends and I were discussing how 35+ men often won't even make eye contact with women their own age. It's funny how the dudes who do look at you get older and older (by decades). It's happened to me too! However, I've always made eye contact with people in general because it is a normal thing to me. It is interesting to find that a lot of other people only do it with people they find particularly attractive. It can be really strange for someone like my friend Sandy, who was always beautiful. She still is but she is over 40, does not dress like a cougar, and feels invisible except to the geriatric set. No offense to the old guys, but they are just doing the same thing the 40 yr old guys are doing by only looking at 22 yr olds.

For someone like Sandy, it is depressing because she is friendly to everyone and men her age are no longer so friendly back to her. She's single again so she really notices. I fear she is on her way to man hatin' land but I can sort of see why she might be a little sore about this obvious change.

This could be one reason some of them get bitter. Guys are nice to them for years, then for no reason other than age (their own age!)don't give the time of day, see how that could make a woman ?

[breeze823]

I don't buy it, sorry. You say Sandy is "beautiful" but how is she honestly? Yes, guys first go by looks, is she frumpy or does she take care of herself? I don't believe that older guys are only looking at 20 year olds! Have her watch a few episodes of Sex and the City

[cpg35223]

I don't buy it either. I've seen a lot of 30-something women who are complete knockouts. Maybe Sandy isn't running in right circles.

[Whyte Byrd]

I've noticed today's younger generation is absolutely the most superficial, narcissistic, self-absorbed, ever. I can't believe how often I hear teens (which I excuse because of their age) and 20-somethings (less excusable because hopefully they've gained some common sense by now) talk so disrespectfully and ignorantly about anyone older than themselves. It's hilarious from where I'm sitting because they forget, they'll be 'there' so much sooner than they ever dreamed.

[Twinkle Toes]

I don't know, men my own age (and of course, the older ones too) check me out. In fact, I even have the younger ones checking me out. I know this al sounds so conceited - I'm not trying to be - really ... honestly!!!

I don't pay much attention to the older guys (I'm married to one - so we won't go there). I might flirt with the ones who are my age. The younger ones, I just think they're cute - like my kids.

[LaoTzuMindFu]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

I don't buy it either. I've seen a lot of 30-something women who are complete knockouts. Maybe Sandy isn't running in right circles.

Or, she is not as beautiful as the OP says.

Maybe she should "cougar it up" for a couple of days with her fashion style and see what happens.

I know some smokin' hot 40 year old women who men of all ages drool over. What they have in common is 1) long hair; 2) nice fit bodies (they workout a lot); 3) positive/fun attitudes; and 4) The dont have kids hanging around them all the time.

[Who?Me?!]

Originally Posted by tamajane

My friends and I were discussing how 35+ men often won't even make eye contact with women their own age. It's funny how the dudes who do look at you get older and older (by decades). It's happened to me too! However, I've always made eye contact with people in general because it is a normal thing to me. It is interesting to find that a lot of other people only do it with people they find particularly attractive. It can be really strange for someone like my friend Sandy, who was always beautiful. She still is but she is over 40, does not dress like a cougar, and feels invisible except to the geriatric set. No offense to the old guys, but they are just doing the same thing the 40 yr old guys are doing by only looking at 22 yr olds.

For someone like Sandy, it is depressing because she is friendly to everyone and men her age are no longer so friendly back to her. She's single again so she really notices. I fear she is on her way to man hatin' land but I can sort of see why she might be a little sore about this obvious change.

This could be one reason some of them get bitter. Guys are nice to them for years, then for no reason other than age (their own age!)don't give the time of day, see how that could make a woman ?

Sounds like your friend has always based her worth on what men think of her.....such a shame....

[tamajane]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

I don't buy it either. I've seen a lot of 30-something women who are complete knockouts. Maybe Sandy isn't running in right circles.

Sandy is 46. She is not a knockout- she is a pretty 46 yr old. She does not dress sexy, but very nice casual attire. She says the attitudes of men her age towards her started shifting around her late 30s. It got worse as she got older. It is everywhere - in the grocery store, at work etc. It is real, no way men give same attention to 40 yr olds as 25 yr olds. It's only an observation, not something a woman doesn't notice.

[LaoTzuMindFu]

Heck, on any given morning in any of the 15 plus Starbucks locations in my neighborhood, I see quite a few 40 plus year old women who are really HOT. They are usually still dressed in their gym or pilates attire or on their way to work and you should see how a lot of the men (teens to 30 somethings) all (in a very understated way) oogling them. The women all seem to know they are getting the attention and they appear to love it.

[teatime]

What age is she wanting to attract? I'm 44 but look younger and seem to attract notice from 30s-50s. You don't have to dress "sexy" but stylish clothes that accentuate a good figure helps. There's a lot to be said for a slightly flirty personality and showing a confident attitude, too.