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Old 05-09-2009, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,020 posts, read 25,639,354 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
there is no such thing as bearable abuse!
If this is what you expect, I abdicate and hereby hand you the TROPHY
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Old 05-09-2009, 03:41 PM
 
943 posts, read 2,030,446 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
WHAT!!???! So you are saying that if leaving is a financial challenge a person should stay in an abusive relationship? WTF?

The only person who would be financially hurt by this separation is the abuser. However, regardless of who is hurt, NO ONE SHOULD STAY IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.
No I would be hurt.

People are horribly naive about what people face in these circumstances.

The social work world says a lot but doesnt back it up.. I sat in DV group and saw 5 women end up in homeless shelters, had at least one tell me I thought they would help me get housing. I am taking care of self, and one does have to have plan to survive espeically if they do not have any social supports whatsoever and every friend on the planet lives more then 100 miles away [many thousnads of miles away] , in different areas.

There is nothing offered for disabled women. In fact if I had gone to shelter, Id be sitting in a ghetto homeless shelter which in the case of my fragile health would be end of things. And a Medicaid nursing home is hell on earth tioo.
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Old 05-09-2009, 03:44 PM
 
943 posts, read 2,030,446 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
It sounds like you're going to need more strength to stay than to go.
You may be right, I need to know WHERE to go and have place to go.

This is bad, because I thought God by now would have shown me where to go.
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Old 05-09-2009, 03:45 PM
 
943 posts, read 2,030,446 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
ella fitzgerald sing it
Birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love

having said that now lets get a divorce
A lot of love is based in lies. Young people are lied too about relationships, and about love which a lot is based on fantasties. This is not a normal person I can talk to or appeal to, to understand my feelings.
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Old 05-09-2009, 03:47 PM
 
943 posts, read 2,030,446 times
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One thing you all must know...I am holding out, so I end up living in a decent small town again. I have a vision of my future and it is not here. One town was too small and didnt offer enough things I needed, but there are two that could and would. It is taking much longer, and the decisions have been hell. I wish I had place to go for even a break, [there has been no vacation] but not in good shape to go and would use up badly needed funds.
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Old 05-09-2009, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,830,478 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WheredoIlive? View Post
You may be right, I need to know WHERE to go and have place to go.

This is bad, because I thought God by now would have shown me where to go.
Sometimes he has answered but we just don't realize it because we were listening for something we wanted or expected to hear. We don't always get that.
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Old 05-09-2009, 03:51 PM
 
943 posts, read 2,030,446 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tama View Post
You need counseling to help you reach decisions and follow through. I can't vouch for this source but it might be a start.
Mental Health Internet Resources ~ FindCounseling.com
Also-check with your local hospital for sources and also local churches. Look at the hospital's web site and the community mental health services as well. Good luck!!
Waste of time.

They told me he had personality disorder.

They told me I should leave.

They told me I was not mentally ill enough for case manager.

They offered no practical help at all.

the social services here is beyond fried.

My only choice is to wait for good small town to call me and say we have apt for you and take it. One came up I went to visit it {was throwing up on taht trip} but town was so depressed it waswnt funny and lacked essentials.. Was one of last choices. I gave in to pressure from mother as well who said it was too remote. She scared me telling me, that I "need him" and will end up in nursing home without him. {this is a very real fear, especially give the lack of social service help.

You must remember I can end up a lot worse off. I got very scared and chickened out when I found out about my new heart dianosis 2 weeks ago.
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Old 05-09-2009, 03:53 PM
 
943 posts, read 2,030,446 times
Reputation: 516
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
Sometimes he has answered but we just don't realize it because we were listening for something we wanted or expected to hear. We don't always get that.
There is such a thing as too many options and no real ones.

With no support and not even knowing what town to go to, my head has been spinning.

I do feel abanoneded by God in all this. Even going into prayer has only gotten silence. Tons of pressure to stay married, people who do not understand how manipulative narc personalities work. If yhou do not fit into a certain mold. I am petrified of ending up being unable to care for self and I should be. I basically tested waters and shark bit toe off. I was told I probably wouldnt even be able to get needed aide, even if I moved into disabled apt on own.
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Old 05-09-2009, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,020 posts, read 25,639,354 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by WheredoIlive? View Post
No I would be hurt.

People are horribly naive about what people face in these circumstances.

The social work world says a lot but doesnt back it up.. I sat in DV group and saw 5 women end up in homeless shelters, had at least one tell me I thought they would help me get housing. I am taking care of self, and one does have to have plan to survive espeically if they do not have any social supports whatsoever and every friend on the planet lives more then 100 miles away [many thousnads of miles away] , in different areas.

There is nothing offered for disabled women. In fact if I had gone to shelter, Id be sitting in a ghetto homeless shelter which in the case of my fragile health would be end of things. And a Medicaid nursing home is hell on earth tioo.
I don't know what to say. Perhaps you can write down 2 or 3 choices on paper and choose the one which hurts you the least.

Funny you say that about the social work agencies. While their intentions are good, they actually should do more. Someone has to revolutionize social service and healthcare.

I volunteer at various senior homes run by Christian charities. I block a given full weekend to perform all sorts of work, from janitor to painter to gardener to individual quarters cleaner for the elderly folks. Sometimes when there is not much work to do, the people love to have someone there to talk and tell them about the outside world.

This is where I see social agencies, healthcare and social support falling way too short for their needs.

Anyway, I wish you the best. I'm hoping you get through this, wherever destiny leads you
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Old 05-09-2009, 04:01 PM
 
943 posts, read 2,030,446 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
there is no such thing as bearable abuse!
What about unbearable poverty?

Last edited by Marka; 06-08-2009 at 11:31 AM.. Reason: per request
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