Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
Advertisements
I know everyone needs to blow off steam now and then and that's ok, I understand, but my b'f starts his day ranting and goes to bed ranting--not about us, but everything else in the world, most things that don't concern him or us. It's draining me. I told him I wish just one morning he'd wake up with a positive outlook, have a great day and finish his day off the same b'c he'd never want to wake up like that again. It goes in one ear and out the other. This is one of the biggest issues I had with my ex-husband.
Males have been under enormous pressure for the past 40 years.
Good jobs have become far less plentiful and many of those available now go to women. (I'm not saying this is wrong, but few men are able to measure up to their father or grandfather on an economic basis. A good 2nd income is mandatory in most places and this causes stress - especially if their wife really wants to stay at home)
Educational standards have fallen and the system's answer is new programs to make women more successful, rather than ones to protect and nurture all those students who want to learn. Now days, (and for several decades) most boys spend 5 to 8 years in a "Lord of the Flies" environment where most of the decent, intelligent, future oriented ones are constantly under attack. Few survive intact and a repressed violence is a sign of this.
Early on, the women's movement demanded a caring and sharing type of guy. Many tried hard and then found there was little demand for them. The backlash followed.
(I could go on and on)
I can't say from direct experience, but looking at the low attainment of most young men now days and their lack of focus on the future, I suspect they just lost any hope and want to just have a good time before they need a prescription for Viagra.
Just like many young women have children, thinking that there will be an never ending supply of nice guys who they can marry later, I suspect these young guys are cynical enough to believe that when they are in their 40s, there will be plenty of women pining for a guy to support.
That kind of behavior is like cancer to a person's daily existence. You're going to have to decide if this is something you want to live with long term, if he has no plans to fix it.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
That kind of behavior is like cancer to a person's daily existence. You're going to have to decide if this is something you want to live with long term, if he has no plans to fix it.
You got that right. I've already decided--not just based on that but everything. I consider him more my best friend than a b'f and if he were honest with himself, he'd agree.
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
6,489 posts, read 7,178,879 times
Reputation: 29855
I can't for the life of me agree with NotARedneck even though she seemingly has a valued opinion on why an "Angry White Male Syndrome" exist. So let's see is this such an ever developing problem that we'll see it on 60 minutes or the news, I highly doubt it. It is interesting that you say that your ex had the same problems....To look at root causes I would have to say look within yourself first (I may be wrong) however two in a row developing the same condition with the same person is highly suspect. I would go on to say that (in my opinion) that logic and experience tells us if you spend company with sick people you end up sick yourself. I do not offer this saying that you are sick by no means but could there be something in your personality or attitude that in a very suttle way over time helps to create such a response. I truly believe that all to often we would like to say its something else or have an excuse for something causing our problems when all the time we need not look no futher than ourselves to get an answer. Like you, thats my rant this mothers day and if you by chance are a mother just let me say may you and yours be blessed this day and everyday of your life.
Get him a punching bag? Does he do any sport at all? What about jogging or bicycling? Maybe he needs a physical activity of some sort to help blow off steam. Otherwise, he shouldn't be venting and ranting so much to you. If he loves you, then he shouldn't be subjecting you to his foul moods. Once in a while is fine, but it sounds like to get to hear ALL of his ranting and raving... and everyone else in his life gets his best behaviour.
You got that right. I've already decided--not just based on that but everything. I consider him more my best friend than a b'f and if he were honest with himself, he'd agree.
*big hug* I'm really sorry. Better luck with the next guy.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by rbrainey
I can't for the life of me agree with NotARedneck even though she seemingly has a valued opinion on why an "Angry White Male Syndrome" exist. So let's see is this such an ever developing problem that we'll see it on 60 minutes or the news, I highly doubt it. It is interesting that you say that your ex had the same problems....To look at root causes I would have to say look within yourself first (I may be wrong) however two in a row developing the same condition with the same person is highly suspect. I would go on to say that (in my opinion) that logic and experience tells us if you spend company with sick people you end up sick yourself. I do not offer this saying that you are sick by no means but could there be something in your personality or attitude that in a very suttle way over time helps to create such a response. I truly believe that all to often we would like to say its something else or have an excuse for something causing our problems when all the time we need not look no futher than ourselves to get an answer. Like you, thats my rant this mothers day and if you by chance are a mother just let me say may you and yours be blessed this day and everyday of your life.
I'm pretty good at recognizing fault in myself and I assure you, I didn't create their personalities. In fact, my ex's didn't start until he started becoming political, about ten years into our marriage. He started watching news every single day, Limbaugh every night (don't jump me, I lean more toward conservative and am an Independent), and other angry white male ranters. Interestingly enough, my current b'f has been watching the news or reading it almost nonstop since the last presidential campaign started. That's where I saw the change in him. In fact, he's reading something Obama is imposing at this moment. LOL I can't hear him.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ask Why This Isn't More Common?
