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Old 05-15-2009, 02:33 PM
 
Location: USA
4,983 posts, read 5,242,449 times
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If a "Friend" stops being a friend because they got married, then they were just using you, plain and simple. And you can bet if the guy gave them the shaft, they'd want to be "Friends" again.
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Old 05-18-2009, 07:34 AM
 
13,483 posts, read 12,064,908 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
If a "Friend" stops being a friend because they got married, then they were just using you, plain and simple. And you can bet if the guy gave them the shaft, they'd want to be "Friends" again.
It's not that they stop being friends...what happens is, when you become single/by divorce, those same friends do not invite you to their parties and picnics, b/c you are single...yet, they call you, and schedule lunches, shopping trips, etc...but do not invite you to their party events, which stinks....

I opened this thread, basically so that more people become more aware of their actions, and invite their single friends...sheesh, if you're so worried about your single girlfriends and your man, then it's your man you should probably worry about.

If you are thinking that perhaps your single friends don't want to come b/c they are single, why not ask them anyway and allow them to make the decission?

But, if your worried that your single women friends are going to come on to your husband, perhaps you have a bigger problem then the single woman?

Creme
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Old 05-18-2009, 06:33 PM
 
4,838 posts, read 5,115,768 times
Reputation: 2906
Default Defending What?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck
When the competition is the greatest, it brings out the worst in people. Among seniors, the female to male ratio must be 4:1. Women who are still married have status. Single available men in this demographic are as rare as whooping cranes. And you wonder why the knives (and casseroles) come out?


Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
Funny, but are you defending their behaviour?
Just stating a fact. Wherever there is a shortage, be prepared to compete or be happy with what you have. I think this is a little silly but some women seem to have their entire mental and emotional well being tied up with having a man.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
I hang out with both single folks and married folks...and like your mother, we get along fine...but there were some in my past, who right after my separation and divorce, completely dropped off the face of the earth. It hurt me then, but now I feel, good riddens....

This is an issue of divorce rather than widowhood and that is outside the area I was discussing.

I've seen a few instances of this. In general, I would suggest that the people were actually friends of the spouse and carried on as before. However, there are situations where some people are uncomfortable with the divorce but I think this is rare. What is important is to include YOUR friends in things when you are married. Relying on your spouse for all social interaction is asking for trouble should you divorce. Sorry if this seems cruel, but its reality.
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Old 05-19-2009, 06:41 AM
 
13,483 posts, read 12,064,908 times
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Quote:
NotARedneck
Originally Posted by NotARedneck
When the competition is the greatest, it brings out the worst in people. Among seniors, the female to male ratio must be 4:1. Women who are still married have status. Single available men in this demographic are as rare as whooping cranes. And you wonder why the knives (and casseroles) come out?



Just stating a fact. Wherever there is a shortage, be prepared to compete or be happy with what you have. I think this is a little silly but some women seem to have their entire mental and emotional well being tied up with having a man.


This is an issue of divorce rather than widowhood and that is outside the area I was discussing.

I've seen a few instances of this. In general, I would suggest that the people were actually friends of the spouse and carried on as before. However, there are situations where some people are uncomfortable with the divorce but I think this is rare. What is important is to include YOUR friends in things when you are married. Relying on your spouse for all social interaction is asking for trouble should you divorce. Sorry if this seems cruel, but its reality.
I found this post of yours very valuable...and no, doesn't seem cruel, it is indeed reality...I just wish, people could somehow change, become less fearful, less insecure and immature and realize, people are not all out to get them...or their husbands....me frankly, while I love them, their families...I am not in the least bit, interested in their husbands...and a lot of woman are like me...I wouldn't even come close to being attracted to someone else's husband...it's a personal conviction, one that I was taught and grew up with. You don't take something that isn't yours to begin with...you don't ever mess with a married man or a girl friends boy friend. No matter what the circumstances. Marriage to me is sacred, and I would never ever want to hurt another like I've been hurt.

Again, thanks so much
Creme
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Old 05-20-2009, 01:36 PM
 
Location: California
2,058 posts, read 5,657,219 times
Reputation: 2833
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
Why, it's not that they are traveling together b/c they want to...there are people in my group who HAVE to travel together occassionally, and there has never been any hanky panky going on...ever. Traveling for work, is not a fun thing or what a lot of people think it is. You spend the entire day getting there, you grab something quick to eat, you may be in a meeting until late, and all you want to do is get something to eat, go to your room, kick your shoes off and sleep. It's all business...truly.


It's not always all business. This just seems a little naive to me. I've traveled in my work and have seen it. Married or not, some people cheat. Throw two people together for a week and things can and do happen. There is always time for hanky-panky if one wants it.
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