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while posting on another thread, I thought of this and surmized it might be a very good topic of awareness and/or discussion.
if your single and a man, your much luckier then most, b/c a lot of married women fall all over a single man and want to mother him, but being a single woman, has it's down side. Most married women, not all, but some are so darn immature and to jealous to invite a single woman into her home, or to social events, etc. Why? Because she is intimidated by a single woman...
My girlfriend worked in a retirement home and saw the same thing. She said it was very sad. All these couples spent most of their time together, and when a woman's husband died, the women of those couples estranged her. Yet, she concluded, if it was a man who was left behind, those men were swarmed by married women, who wanted to take care of him, fix him up with other women. How cruel...and the worst part is, she said, she would watch the widowed women, and see how lonely they were, but the married women were so insecure and scared that they wven withheld compassion for that women?????
One day my son and I were talking on the phone. He said they were having a party. I said wonderful, whose coming? He replied...several of their friends names, which were all couples, and a single friend. He said they didn't know if they were going to invite him or not. I asked why? He explained that they thought he might feel out of place because it was all couples. I said, "Don't make a decission for him, ask him and allow him to decide but definately extend the invitation". After listening, he agreed.
Why is it human beings can be so unaware or unthinking?
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Sounds like you're looking at things through a magnifying glass and amplifying the actions of some to generalize the whole. I find it difficult to respond to posts that make such general accusations about one sex or the other.
Personally, I loathe feeling like I'm mothering a man so I don't do it. I may have in my 20s when I was just learning how to be in a relationship but come on, we're all here learning. We all learn at our own pace and through our own circumstances. I have too much to learn myself to sit around staring at others through a microscope trying to see if they're getting it right. I don't even have it right yet.
That's why I've always had more male (platonic) friends than woman friends. Women (both single and married) tend to be very catty and competitive. My guy friends have always been like brothers to me and very supportive.
So true! Married women can be interested in single guys to the point of obsession (in a motherly way) especially if they're hoping to set them up with someone. I've noticed this in particular with married mothers being extremely friendly and even getting physical with me (hugging and touching) if they have a single daughter. The moment their daughter is together with some other guy the mother suddenly realizes I (or her husband) might take all the touching the wrong way and usually pulls back to a cool distance.
Younger married women are also typically very outgoing toward single guys and all the more so if they find those guys attractive. It's a cruel joke of life that when you're single and looking most people are nervous about approaching people they find attractive. But when you're happily together with someone you're no longer afraid of talking to those same people.
Come to think of it, if you're a single guy and interested in being introduced to lots of single girls, it's probably not a bad idea to befriend married women and let as many of them as possible realize that you're a great guy.
Sounds like you're looking at things through a magnifying glass and amplifying the actions of some to generalize the whole. I find it difficult to respond to posts that make such general accusations about one sex or the other.
Personally, I loathe feeling like I'm mothering a man so I don't do it. I may have in my 20s when I was just learning how to be in a relationship but come on, we're all here learning. We all learn at our own pace and through our own circumstances. I have too much to learn myself to sit around staring at others through a microscope trying to see if they're getting it right. I don't even have it right yet.
I thank you for participating and for your opinion, but I don't believe I was generalizing, nor amplifying as I am now 60 years old and not only have had a lot of experience with this, but have had conversations with other single women who feel the very same way. There are a few who have really good and secure girl friends, but for the majority, it is this way. If you have not experienced this, then feel relieved and blessed.
Women can be particularly vicious to each other - so much more than they are to men.
Yes, they certainly can...and I've not only posted this for conversation, opinions and discussion, but perhaps, to wake up some of those women who read this and are doing the same thing, but do not realize it or intentionally mean to hurt anyone.
And yes, they are so much more generous & supportive to the male population
That's why I've always had more male (platonic) friends than woman friends. Women (both single and married) tend to be very catty and competitive. My guy friends have always been like brothers to me and very supportive.
I have perhaps 3 very close women friends, by my choice. The rest of them are aquanitences. There is one at work, a pain in the butt, she wants what everyone else has, always, and she copies people all the time.
But yes, women not all, but most, can be a real pain in the butt.
So true! Married women can be interested in single guys to the point of obsession (in a motherly way) especially if they're hoping to set them up with someone. I've noticed this in particular with married mothers being extremely friendly and even getting physical with me (hugging and touching) if they have a single daughter. The moment their daughter is together with some other guy the mother suddenly realizes I (or her husband) might take all the touching the wrong way and usually pulls back to a cool distance.
Younger married women are also typically very outgoing toward single guys and all the more so if they find those guys attractive. It's a cruel joke of life that when you're single and looking most people are nervous about approaching people they find attractive. But when you're happily together with someone you're no longer afraid of talking to those same people.
Come to think of it, if you're a single guy and interested in being introduced to lots of single girls, it's probably not a bad idea to befriend married women and let as many of them as possible realize that you're a great guy.
LOL, I see you have it down to a science....
It is enlightening to see that not all men have their head in the sand
That's why I've always had more male (platonic) friends than woman friends. Women (both single and married) tend to be very catty and competitive. My guy friends have always been like brothers to me and very supportive.
Same here. As a young adult, I just naturally gravitated more towards guys than girls - I had some really great guy friends, even though they were very flirtatious and would drop their "hints" of something more than friendship.
I often found myself confronting immediate dislike from other women - just on the basis of looks, which is absolutely ridiculous.
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