Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I asked my husband that today, actually (due to this thread). His responses are always the same. There is no better looking woman lol and if we didn't have dry spells, he'd have no interest. He also noted that he wouldn't if I asked, so I like that. But, that's just how our marriage goes, it's a rarity and I'm blessed for it.
I don't think justifying viewing porn as an alternative to cheating should even come up. Not with adults at least. Something else is going wrong in a marriage if cheating arises.
As an aside, I'm pretty amazed at the knee-jerk disrespect response when discussing marriage.
Gee, you asked your husband what...If you are all he ever wants?
Do you think he would ever say no?
I think it is admirable that he is happy and satisfied with you, but I don't think this looking at porn is about being happy and satisfied with someone.
Porn is addictive and destructive. There have been numerous studies about it. I don't have the time to post links, but OP, you can research this. I know in my extended family, church family and friends, porn has destroyed marriages. No I don't think looking at porn is normal. It is disgusting and degrading and disrespectful. I have a Bishop who is a therapist that sees hundreds of couples where they are having marital problems and there are several issues two of them being money and porn that are causing them.
Talk to your husband and let him know how it makes you feel. If he doesn't stop it means he doesn't care how you feel. He is being selfish if he doesn't stop. I have been there done that and we came out on the other end with a much stronger marriage. He doesn't look at porn and has never been to strip clubs. I sat him down one day with the children gone from our home and told him if he didn't stop I would leave. He stopped.
No one expects sexual urges to disappear. What women expect is that men live up to their vows and forsake all others. That includes porn.
What I don't get is why men marry us if we're not what they want. If you want something different then go after it. Don't tell us we're the one for you and then sneak off to watch other women have sex.
Because, sexually, MEN ARE DIFFERENT THAN WOMEN! For men, VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE! All men look at other women anywhere and everywhere. When your man stops looking, there is more going on behind your back! Men will always look at porn or go to Go Go bars with nothing but sexy women to look at. For you women who say your man does not do any of the above! You are clueless. Why do you think Playboy and Pethouse exist?
Guess what, no one is. People have fantasy lives in their heads.
Now, I am against a guy looking at a woman in public and pointing her out to his wife or girlfriend. I am not advocating that.
When you say you want him to look at you to get in the mood, it might not be about you or a person. It might be about an act, a thing, something he wants or wants to do.
He doesn't have to watch other women doing it though. Why not just suggest it? I'd rather be the one he wants not what he uses to finish the deed after getting off on watching other women. No thanks. I'll pass.
For you women who say your man does not do any of the above! You are clueless. Why do you think Playboy and Pethouse exist?
Blondie, are you trying to jog your bonehead there in that emoticon? Do you always make generalizations about everyone based on a targeted sample? Seriously. The fact that cigarettes exist does not everyone a smoker make. Nor does Cosmo's existence indicate that all women need frivolous advice. Or that they want to know 'the latest positions that will keep him coming back for more'.
Blondie, are you trying to jog your bonehead there in that emoticon? Do you always make generalizations about everyone based on a targeted sample? Seriously. The fact that cigarettes exist does not everyone a smoker make. Nor does Cosmo's existence indicate that all women need frivolous advice. Or that they want to know 'the latest positions that will keep him coming back for more'.
LOL at the cosmo reference. totally pathetic. same goes for guys reading maxim.
Because, sexually, MEN ARE DIFFERENT THAN WOMEN! For men, VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE! All men look at other women anywhere and everywhere. When your man stops looking, there is more going on behind your back! Men will always look at porn or go to Go Go bars with nothing but sexy women to look at. For you women who say your man does not do any of the above! You are clueless. Why do you think Playboy and Pethouse exist?
I think these women are clueless. It is odd they could be married all these years and think their man was mentally monogamous.
Porn is addictive and destructive. There have been numerous studies about it. I don't have the time to post links, but OP, you can research this. I know in my extended family, church family and friends, porn has destroyed marriages. No I don't think looking at porn is normal. It is disgusting and degrading and disrespectful. I have a Bishop who is a therapist that sees hundreds of couples where they are having marital problems and there are several issues two of them being money and porn that are causing them.
Talk to your husband and let him know how it makes you feel. If he doesn't stop it means he doesn't care how you feel. He is being selfish if he doesn't stop. I have been there done that and we came out on the other end with a much stronger marriage. He doesn't look at porn and has never been to strip clubs. I sat him down one day with the children gone from our home and told him if he didn't stop I would leave. He stopped.
One size fits all, eh?
There are people who enjoy a glass of wine once in awhile, some like a few beers here and there, but they aren't alcoholics. But alcohol is more than an addiction for an alcoholic.
So you see, it's different for different people.
You gave your husband an ultimatum. I wonder if there are things you do, that he would give you an ultimatum like that and call your bluff.
Porn is not a justification for divorce. Because if let's say he is screwing other women in real life. or other way around. Then that is ****ED UP. Because you put your spouse at sexual transmitted diseases even with condoms you can still get stuff like crabs and herpes. SO I do think its gross when men (Or women) sleep around then do their spouses.
Porn for men...its not an old story, but I think the wife needs to be open minded about it. At least you have a husband that's horny. My boyfriend is so flaccid, that we don't have a sex-life. We have a "Celebate Relationship" Which i guess I don't mind.
But try to be open-minded. But let's say if I saw my BF looking at porn without giving ME anything... I would twist his balls, and dump his ass. But that's being in a gay relationship is awesome... Civil Unions aren't that open yet. So I can just leave him, but I love my honey bun.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.