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Old 05-17-2009, 06:07 PM
 
Location: USA
4,978 posts, read 9,486,246 times
Reputation: 2506

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
I asked my husband that today, actually (due to this thread). His responses are always the same. There is no better looking woman lol and if we didn't have dry spells, he'd have no interest. He also noted that he wouldn't if I asked, so I like that. But, that's just how our marriage goes, it's a rarity and I'm blessed for it.


I don't think justifying viewing porn as an alternative to cheating should even come up. Not with adults at least. Something else is going wrong in a marriage if cheating arises.

As an aside, I'm pretty amazed at the knee-jerk disrespect response when discussing marriage.

Gee, you asked your husband what...If you are all he ever wants?
Do you think he would ever say no?

I think it is admirable that he is happy and satisfied with you, but I don't think this looking at porn is about being happy and satisfied with someone.
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Old 05-17-2009, 06:12 PM
 
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
1,914 posts, read 7,128,733 times
Reputation: 1987
Porn is addictive and destructive. There have been numerous studies about it. I don't have the time to post links, but OP, you can research this. I know in my extended family, church family and friends, porn has destroyed marriages. No I don't think looking at porn is normal. It is disgusting and degrading and disrespectful. I have a Bishop who is a therapist that sees hundreds of couples where they are having marital problems and there are several issues two of them being money and porn that are causing them.
Talk to your husband and let him know how it makes you feel. If he doesn't stop it means he doesn't care how you feel. He is being selfish if he doesn't stop. I have been there done that and we came out on the other end with a much stronger marriage. He doesn't look at porn and has never been to strip clubs. I sat him down one day with the children gone from our home and told him if he didn't stop I would leave. He stopped.
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Old 05-17-2009, 06:19 PM
 
Location: "The Sunshine State"
4,334 posts, read 13,623,584 times
Reputation: 3063
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
No one expects sexual urges to disappear. What women expect is that men live up to their vows and forsake all others. That includes porn.

What I don't get is why men marry us if we're not what they want. If you want something different then go after it. Don't tell us we're the one for you and then sneak off to watch other women have sex.
Because, sexually, MEN ARE DIFFERENT THAN WOMEN! For men, VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE! All men look at other women anywhere and everywhere. When your man stops looking, there is more going on behind your back! Men will always look at porn or go to Go Go bars with nothing but sexy women to look at. For you women who say your man does not do any of the above! You are clueless. Why do you think Playboy and Pethouse exist?
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Old 05-17-2009, 06:20 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,403,158 times
Reputation: 14692
Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
Guess what, no one is. People have fantasy lives in their heads.

Now, I am against a guy looking at a woman in public and pointing her out to his wife or girlfriend. I am not advocating that.

When you say you want him to look at you to get in the mood, it might not be about you or a person. It might be about an act, a thing, something he wants or wants to do.
He doesn't have to watch other women doing it though. Why not just suggest it? I'd rather be the one he wants not what he uses to finish the deed after getting off on watching other women. No thanks. I'll pass.
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Old 05-17-2009, 06:22 PM
 
496 posts, read 938,461 times
Reputation: 418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondie621 View Post
For you women who say your man does not do any of the above! You are clueless. Why do you think Playboy and Pethouse exist?
Blondie, are you trying to jog your bonehead there in that emoticon? Do you always make generalizations about everyone based on a targeted sample? Seriously. The fact that cigarettes exist does not everyone a smoker make. Nor does Cosmo's existence indicate that all women need frivolous advice. Or that they want to know 'the latest positions that will keep him coming back for more'.
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Old 05-17-2009, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Texas
5,004 posts, read 7,841,612 times
Reputation: 5695
Quote:
Originally Posted by blazejen View Post
Blondie, are you trying to jog your bonehead there in that emoticon? Do you always make generalizations about everyone based on a targeted sample? Seriously. The fact that cigarettes exist does not everyone a smoker make. Nor does Cosmo's existence indicate that all women need frivolous advice. Or that they want to know 'the latest positions that will keep him coming back for more'.
LOL at the cosmo reference. totally pathetic. same goes for guys reading maxim.
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Old 05-17-2009, 06:31 PM
 
Location: USA
4,978 posts, read 9,486,246 times
Reputation: 2506
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondie621 View Post
Because, sexually, MEN ARE DIFFERENT THAN WOMEN! For men, VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE! All men look at other women anywhere and everywhere. When your man stops looking, there is more going on behind your back! Men will always look at porn or go to Go Go bars with nothing but sexy women to look at. For you women who say your man does not do any of the above! You are clueless. Why do you think Playboy and Pethouse exist?
I think these women are clueless. It is odd they could be married all these years and think their man was mentally monogamous.
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Old 05-17-2009, 06:33 PM
 
496 posts, read 938,461 times
Reputation: 418
Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
I think these women are clueless. It is odd they could be married all these years and think their man was mentally monogamous.
I feel so sorry for men. They are often underestimated.
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Old 05-17-2009, 06:34 PM
 
Location: USA
4,978 posts, read 9,486,246 times
Reputation: 2506
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTR36 View Post
Porn is addictive and destructive. There have been numerous studies about it. I don't have the time to post links, but OP, you can research this. I know in my extended family, church family and friends, porn has destroyed marriages. No I don't think looking at porn is normal. It is disgusting and degrading and disrespectful. I have a Bishop who is a therapist that sees hundreds of couples where they are having marital problems and there are several issues two of them being money and porn that are causing them.
Talk to your husband and let him know how it makes you feel. If he doesn't stop it means he doesn't care how you feel. He is being selfish if he doesn't stop. I have been there done that and we came out on the other end with a much stronger marriage. He doesn't look at porn and has never been to strip clubs. I sat him down one day with the children gone from our home and told him if he didn't stop I would leave. He stopped.

One size fits all, eh?
There are people who enjoy a glass of wine once in awhile, some like a few beers here and there, but they aren't alcoholics. But alcohol is more than an addiction for an alcoholic.

So you see, it's different for different people.

You gave your husband an ultimatum. I wonder if there are things you do, that he would give you an ultimatum like that and call your bluff.
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Old 05-17-2009, 06:35 PM
 
399 posts, read 551,163 times
Reputation: 113
Porn is not a justification for divorce. Because if let's say he is screwing other women in real life. or other way around. Then that is ****ED UP. Because you put your spouse at sexual transmitted diseases even with condoms you can still get stuff like crabs and herpes. SO I do think its gross when men (Or women) sleep around then do their spouses.

Porn for men...its not an old story, but I think the wife needs to be open minded about it. At least you have a husband that's horny. My boyfriend is so flaccid, that we don't have a sex-life. We have a "Celebate Relationship" Which i guess I don't mind.

But try to be open-minded. But let's say if I saw my BF looking at porn without giving ME anything... I would twist his balls, and dump his ass. But that's being in a gay relationship is awesome... Civil Unions aren't that open yet. So I can just leave him, but I love my honey bun.
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