Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Redisca, I owe you a whole bunch of reps. Excellent points in this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
This post doesn't make sense. Who puts up with lying?
I do! My late wife used to lie to me all the time. I'd catch her in one and she'd get this silly grin on her face like, "Damn, you're not supposed to be smart enough to catch me." I "put up with lying" because she was only doing it from fear of losing my respect (which she could have never lost). I've caught my new wife in the same type of lies. I've lied. You've lied. We've all lied. Anyone who says they've never lied is telling you a big fat one. And that is no lie.
My problem with this logic is everyone judges, everyone is objectified in the sole definition of the word. It's hardly been one sided/single-edged throughout the ages.
Sure, everyone judges, though I don't know that everyone is objectified. And I don't think the consequeces of objectification or judgement are evenly distributed, obviously.
Quote:
Having the extreme feminist viewpoint of either "all men do it and are pigs, we just don't want it to show", or "they don't all do it, I should be seen for who I am right off the bat to <blank>" is a bit naive, and overall destructive in my view.
I'm certainly not speaking of extremes or generalities, though many in this thread have been doing so willy nilly. Franky, I think it's insulting and short sighted to assume that all people hold to the same values and behavior.
Quote:
If you had true playback on what someone thought of you in the first 30 seconds of a first meet each time no matter the gender you'd get things you probably haven't heard or seen in x-rated movies, horror flicks, or listening to women comment on others sense of dress.
I bet it would vary as much as people vary.
Quote:
It comes down to how you act, your willingness to keep thoughts in check, and treating others with the same level of respect they treat you with.
Agreed. It's simply a matter of common sense.
Quote:
I don't know if it's odd or something, but to me there's a pretty big chasm between telling a buddy, "damn, she's cute!", and "I'd jump on those ta-ta's and make a nest". The later I've never had the [dis]pleasure. The former, so long as your not pushy or sleezy about it is usually appreciated to be stated face to face to the woman in question.
I'm not complaing about guys noting that a girl is cute to his buddy. As you point out, if it's not sleezy, fine. If a person is being sleezy, he should keep it to himself.
I do! My late wife used to lie to me all the time. I'd catch her in one and she'd get this silly grin on her face like, "Damn, you're not supposed to be smart enough to catch me." I "put up with lying" because she was only doing it from fear of losing my respect (which she could have never lost). I've caught my new wife in the same type of lies. I've lied. You've lied. We've all lied. Anyone who says they've never lied is telling you a big fat one. And that is no lie.
Lie about what? What does anyone really have to lie about in a marriage unless something negative is going on? Maybe I live an uninteresting life, but there's little in my day that comes to mind that would warrant lying. Or do you mean things like when my husband asks me if I'm paying attention to him when he's speaking while I'm in the middle of zoning out and respond 'yes!' 'yes!' When I think of lying, that's not what comes to mind normally.
Lying can cause just as many, if not more, problems if not dealt with than porn. You can be knit picky about my wording all you want, I got the point I wanted across.
I think that poster was just misunderstanding you.
I hope they didn't but posters here are saying it's normal. When I was younger, I had a hard time getting men to make eye contact because I'm chesty. I sure hope they weren't thinking revolting things about me. I just assumed they were neaderthals men and got away as quickly as possible.
Honestly yeah a lot of them were probably thinking of sticking their head in there and doing a bit of motorboating. And there is nothing wrong with a bit of that.
I think your thinking is pretty screwed up if you thought that men viewing you as attractive was "revolting". I would recommend getting professional help because there appears to be some deep seeded issues there.
Also a lot of people culturally don't have a habit of making eye contact.
It's a sad day when we can't view women as attractive, especially with their clothes off. Some of the most classic and well known pieces of art consist of naked women.
I put my faith in the Lord and that God would not have made sex pleasing or women attractive and appealing to us men if it wasn't something we were supposed to do.
Sure, everyone judges, though I don't know that everyone is objectified. And I don't think the consequeces of objectification or judgement are evenly distributed, obviously.
That I think is entirely on the point of view, and the social acceptablity of the response from opposing parties.
Quote:
I'm certainly not speaking of extremes or generalities, though many in this thread have been doing so willy nilly. Franky, I think it's insulting and short sighted to assume that all people hold to the same values and behavior.
That I would agree with emphatically. Nobody thinks or views things the same, who would want them to?
Quote:
I'm not complaing about guys noting that a girl is cute to his buddy. As you point out, if it's not sleezy, fine. If a person is being sleezy, he should keep it to himself.
I didn't really say you were, just mentioning it. I know of no one that dislikes semi-superficial flattery that's tasteful, and isn't meant as the be all of the other person's being.
Honestly yeah a lot of them were probably thinking of sticking their head in there and doing a bit of motorboating. And there is nothing wrong with a bit of that.
I think your thinking is pretty screwed up if you thought that men viewing you as attractive was "revolting". I would recommend getting professional help because there appears to be some deep seeded issues there.
Also a lot of people culturally don't have a habit of making eye contact.
It's a sad day when we can't view women as attractive, especially with their clothes off. Some of the most classic and well known pieces of art consist of naked women.
I put my faith in the Lord and that God would not have made sex pleasing or women attractive and appealing to us men if it wasn't something we were supposed to do.
There is everything wrong with that. I am a person and deserve to be treated in a dignified manner. How can anyone take me seriously, as an engineer, if they're thinking about my chest and picturing me naked? This is just disgusting.
Believe it or not, women are people and deserve dignity. My thinking that doesn't mean I need professional help. Yeah, I'm revolted by the idea I'm not taken seriously because I have a bust line. Would you think it's ok for your daughter to be thought of and treated that way?
There is everything wrong with that. I am a person and deserve to be treated in a dignified manner. How can anyone take me seriously, as an engineer, if they're thinking about my chest and picturing me naked? This is just disgusting.
Believe it or not, women are people and deserve dignity. My thinking that doesn't mean I need professional help. Yeah, I'm revolted by the idea I'm not taken seriously because I have a bust line. Would you think it's ok for your daughter to be thought of and treated that way?
Couple steps beyond I'll admit. However, I think we've gone from what someone thinks casually to how much validity those passing thoughts are given, and the actions taken upon them.
As an example: Who has never thought for a split second about someone they might have a true dislike, been embarrassed by or the like and wished/thought them to come to harm?
Does that mean you give it credence? Do you mull it over? Do you act on it? Dismiss it in under a nanosecond and re-focus?
There is everything wrong with that. I am a person and deserve to be treated in a dignified manner. How can anyone take me seriously, as an engineer, if they're thinking about my chest and picturing me naked? This is just disgusting.
Believe it or not, women are people and deserve dignity. My thinking that doesn't mean I need professional help. Yeah, I'm revolted by the idea I'm not taken seriously because I have a bust line. Would you think it's ok for your daughter to be thought of and treated that way?
I think you miss the point by a country mile. You being an engineer and/or previously attractive has nothing to do with one another. You are viewing it from the perspective of a guy licking the glass and panting at your every moment. It's more of a "oh she's attractive". If you are revolted by the idea a man may find you attractive yes there are likely some issues there.
In terms of being treated in a dignified manner, I'm sure if you treat others that way you'll get the same in return from most people. Also if you don't feel you are being taken seriously there are probably other issues there causing that.
In regards to this topic much of the issues with porno, prostitution, affairs and much worse are due to the perversion of sex, such as a woman saying a man seeing her naked is "revolting". When people start thinking like that rather than viewing sex as normal and healthy, you see people seeking out these other perversions. Unfortunately.
I think you miss the point by a country mile. You being an engineer and/or previously attractive has nothing to do with one another. You are viewing it from the perspective of a guy licking the glass and panting at your every moment. It's more of a "oh she's attractive". If you are revolted by the idea a man may find you attractive yes there are likely some issues there.
In terms of being treated in a dignified manner, I'm sure if you treat others that way you'll get the same in return from most people. Also if you don't feel you are being taken seriously there are probably other issues there causing that.
In regards to this topic much of the issues with porno, prostitution, affairs and much worse are due to the perversion of sex, such as a woman saying a man seeing her naked is "revolting". When people start thinking like that rather than viewing sex as normal and healthy, you see people seeking out these other perversions. Unfortunately.
I'm revolted by the idea a man any woman is having a casual conversation with is, mentally, undressing her. That's sick.
Finding me attractive when I'm in a romantic situation is something, entirely, different. There is a time and a place for everything and the work place isn't the place to be, mentally, undressing coworkers. I hope that behavior isn't the norm. I'd hate to think men think that little of women but given the oppression of women, I'm afraid it may be right.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
