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I have a different take on this
I was a very innocent bride. So I basically didn't know much beyond what my husband told/taught me. He was also a fan of porn, but that was before the internet so he was confined to penthouse and playboy. I even bought him a playboy key for his birthday and we visited the clubs with friends. 3 years after we were married I went to work for a publishing company. What I didn't know was that they disributed xxadult magazines, books and toys. The first day I worked there, the boss received a new shipment in the toy room and took a blow up doll and walked around the office introducing it to everyone as his sister. As my sense of humor is much larger than my "female sensibilities" I thought it was damn funny.
So, we were allowed to have copies of any of the magazines, etc that we distributed to take home.
I started taking them home to share them with my husband and ask questions. He was horrified! He was especially horrified when his bible thumping mother came to visit us from the south and when she opened the coat closed where we hid them they all came tumbling out on her head. OOPS
That was the end of any kind of porn in our home. I am sure he probably had his stash, but he just couldn't deal with the fact that I may enjoy it too.
Okay, falling down on her head, that's too funny. It's none of anyone's biz, what you have in your closet anyway, regarding your stash. Regarding, hubby not being able to deal with your interest in the "stash", men usually feel slighted, with what they consider, women moving over into their "territory" , i.e. strip clubs, etc...lest I digress, this post is about the pregnant woman whose husband she found looking at porn, sigh. Again, I wonder, what did she end up doing? I didn't feel like going back to read thru the replies..
Okay, falling down on her head, that's too funny. It's none of anyone's biz, what you have in your closet anyway, regarding your stash. Regarding, hubby not being able to deal with your interest in the "stash", men usually feel slighted, with what they consider, women moving over into their "territory" , i.e. strip clubs, etc...lest I digress, this post is about the pregnant woman whose husband she found looking at porn, sigh. Again, I wonder, what did she end up doing? I didn't feel like going back to read thru the replies..
I agree, the mother should have just walked off and not said a thing. It is their house, why do they have to stop doing anything because of her?
I don't know what the OP is doing...she has to realize the porn isn't another woman. It's more about the act or fetish or thing that the guy wants. Most of those porn women all look alike, with their photoshopped bodies and silicone implants, lol.
Denial of sex is not. If there's something wrong and your spouse doesn't want sex, then you need to help your spouse figure out what's wrong.
Sex is not a necessity. Not having your body violated is. You take the past of least harm and that is doing without while your spouse works through their issues.
Sex is a necessity or at least a sexual release, especially for men. Our bodies continually produce sperm and it's coming out one way or another. Whether it leaks out in a wet dream, in masturbation or via sexual intercourse, it's coming out at some point. As much as men can't completely understand a woman's periods, women can't completely grasp what goes on with us. I think they believe we can just slap a cork in it or cap it off. It doesn't work that way.
I think you exist in a very self centered world in your belief that if there is a sexual communication problem between spouses, that's it's the other persons fault and they need to figure it out. If you don't want sex ever, as it appears to be the case, then it should not be your spouses responsibility to enunciate your thoughts, feelings and problems.
I have seen women on this path of fear and hence they use sexual relations as a control weapon and it can backfire in a big way.
Sex is a necessity or at least a sexual release, especially for men. Our bodies continually produce sperm and it's coming out one way or another. Whether it leaks out in a wet dream, in masturbation or via sexual intercourse, it's coming out at some point. As much as men can't completely understand a woman's periods, women can't completely grasp what goes on with us. I think they believe we can just slap a cork in it or cap it off. It doesn't work that way.
I think you exist in a very self centered world in your belief that if there is a sexual communication problem between spouses, that's it's the other persons fault and they need to figure it out. If you don't want sex ever, as it appears to be the case, then it should not be your spouses responsibility to enunciate your thoughts, feelings and problems.
I have seen women on this path of fear and hence they use sexual relations as a control weapon and it can backfire in a big way.
You can't tell me that the husband didn't know she was like this when he married her. There had to be signs. People just don't "turn out to be like this."
I seriously wonder how guys pick mates.
Sex is a necessity or at least a sexual release, especially for men. Our bodies continually produce sperm and it's coming out one way or another. Whether it leaks out in a wet dream, in masturbation or via sexual intercourse, it's coming out at some point. As much as men can't completely understand a woman's periods, women can't completely grasp what goes on with us. I think they believe we can just slap a cork in it or cap it off. It doesn't work that way.
I think you exist in a very self centered world in your belief that if there is a sexual communication problem between spouses, that's it's the other persons fault and they need to figure it out. If you don't want sex ever, as it appears to be the case, then it should not be your spouses responsibility to enunciate your thoughts, feelings and problems.
I have seen women on this path of fear and hence they use sexual relations as a control weapon and it can backfire in a big way.
Good point Wanneroo, but likening the build up of sperm, and it's eventual release, to woman's periods...not so good a point. LOL. We are not at the height of ecstasy at that time.But I get what you're saying referencing IvoryTickler.
You can't tell me that the husband didn't know she was like this when he married her. There had to be signs. People just don't "turn out to be like this."
I seriously wonder how guys pick mates.
I actually made note of this earlier in the thread a few pages back.
For one thing I think if a guy has an interest in porno, his SO would know that before getting married. I'm tending not to believe a straight laced guy suddenly one day becomes a porno addict.
I think that is why is it so important for people not to take marriage lightly or rush into it without spending enough time to thoroughly know someone at least to the point of being familiar with their vices and quirks.
I think especially when people are younger I notice they tend to be "believers" that everything will work out and quirks and vices will work themselves out. I see young people(teens and 20's) in denial all the time. Just look at all the single mothers out there.
Probably the guy that married her didn't grasp how bad her "fear biting" and control freakyness would end up being.
Okay, falling down on her head, that's too funny. It's none of anyone's biz, what you have in your closet anyway, regarding your stash. Regarding, hubby not being able to deal with your interest in the "stash", men usually feel slighted, with what they consider, women moving over into their "territory" , i.e. strip clubs, etc...lest I digress, this post is about the pregnant woman whose husband she found looking at porn, sigh. Again, I wonder, what did she end up doing? I didn't feel like going back to read thru the replies..
Somehow the end of my reply got cut off. I wanted the OP to know that if she was unable or unwilling to engage in any type of sexual behavior with her husband during her pregnancy, she should be greatful that he is using porn to relieve himself and not some real woman in a bar.
If this behavior becomes the center of his world, then she should worry but not before.
Location: Partisanship Is An Intellectual/Emotional Handicap
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo
Sex is a necessity or at least a sexual release, especially for men. Our bodies continually produce sperm and it's coming out one way or another. Whether it leaks out in a wet dream, in masturbation or via sexual intercourse, it's coming out at some point. As much as men can't completely understand a woman's periods, women can't completely grasp what goes on with us. I think they believe we can just slap a cork in it or cap it off. It doesn't work that way.
I think you exist in a very self centered world in your belief that if there is a sexual communication problem between spouses, that's it's the other persons fault and they need to figure it out. If you don't want sex ever, as it appears to be the case, then it should not be your spouses responsibility to enunciate your thoughts, feelings and problems.
I have seen women on this path of fear and hence they use sexual relations as a control weapon and it can backfire in a big way.
And that's the thing.
Women like Ivorytickler play this game with their husbands.....a very selfish, self-absorbed...."It's All About Me...Me..Me.....Me! " game and they always shove all responsibility, accountability and emotional pressure right back on their husbands/men.
Then the husband/man one day....finally gets fed up with her games and goes out to find himself a lover. And of course, women like Ivorytickler immediately play the victim card.
I mean, look at her words here. Rape.....violation of her body. What kind of mentality does this woman have to perceive her husband wanting sex as rape and a violation of her body? What a ridiculous and rather vicious over-dramatization.
Women like Ivorytickler are playing awful, selfish control/manipulation games and committing emotional/ psychological abuse and torture.
But she'll play the victim when it explodes in her face. Hell, she's already practicing and preparing her victomhood with proclamations of "Rape" and Bodily Violations". She's al prepared to be the victim.
It's no small wonder her husband refuses to have sex with her, on those rare occasions when she "wants it".
No rational and self-respecting human being (both male and female) wants to be in a realtionship where sex only occurs on those rare ocassions when someone like Ivorytickler decides to grant her approval and never compromises and cares about her spouse.
Ivory, here's the truth.....if your father behaved the way he did when he found his son looking at porn, then he was trying to do 2 things. He was either repressed as a child, as you were and he had to put a stop to the "temptation", or, his wife didn't allow such behaviour and she wanted him to do this. Somewhere , somebody told your dad, or your mom that sex is bad. Some people will do that because that is how they themselves were raised. It is not their fault anymore than it is your fault that you grew up thinking all sex that is not loving is then bad. Sex is sex, though. Sex has a will of its own. Unless it is hurting someone, why should you repress it? Haven't you read somewhere that sex has benefits to the mind and the body? sex is a personal and private matter that you choose to share with whoever you want and deny whoever you want. But if you deny it to someone who loves you and that you love back, then you are not being open with each other and you are just putting up pretenses and not really accepting who each of you is. Its like you love him, but how can you love him if you don't really know him? And for the same reason, he does not feel accepted by you. Accepted means he does not feel loved. Do you want him to be unhappy and not feel loved? Because that is how he feels when you do not accept who he is and what he wants. If a marriage is going to exist, the first ingredient is acceptance. If there is no acceptance there is nothing. NOTHING.
Women like Ivorytickler play this game with their husbands.....a very selfish, self-absorbed...."It's All About Me...Me..Me.....Me! " game and they always shove all responsibility, accountability and emotional pressure right back on their husbands/men.
Then the husband/man one day....finally gets fed up with her games and goes out to find himself a lover. And of course, women like Ivorytickler immediately play the victim card.
I mean, look at her words here. Rape.....violation of her body. What kind of mentality does this woman have to perceive her husband wanting sex as rape and a violation of her body? What a ridiculous and rather vicious over-dramatization.
Women like Ivorytickler are playing awful, selfish control/manipulation games and committing emotional/ psychological abuse and torture.
But she'll play the victim when it explodes in her face. Hell, she's already practicing and preparing her victomhood with proclamations of "Rape" and Bodily Violations". She's al prepared to be the victim.
It's no small wonder her husband refuses to have sex with her, on those rare occasions when she "wants it".
No rational and self-respecting human being (both male and female) wants to be in a realtionship where sex only occurs on those rare ocassions when someone like Ivorytickler decides to grant her approval and never compromises and cares about her spouse.
YEah, but the odd thing is, they never leave the whiner. They stay with them, when there are good women out there. So, you have to wonder what is wrong with the guy, too.
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