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My best friend have just known an attractive girl, and all he does is talking about her all days. The dude even composed some lame poems and have me correct it. His dissertation defense is near so I don't want him to mess up . Any idea ?
Lame poems aside, it is not your job to make sure he is ready for his defense. Mind your own business. If this really seems to be affecting him then just be a supportive friend and suggest that he focus on school first, THEN think about pursuing this lady.
Seems like he's just going through limerence. It's normal, many go through it, and get over it. There's not really anything you can do. If he thinks about her alot, he'll think of her regardless of what you say or do. You can talk to him about it, but that may not help much.
I went through limerence tons of times, where I was enamored with a guy. Not really anything anyone could do. Even if I was out, having fun with friends or family, my mind still wandered back to them lol
So, all you can do his talk to him as a friend, and tell him your concerns. The rest is on him, and his mind and feelings. If nothing changes, then he just has to live his life and learn how to cope with his limerence.
Lame poems aside, it is not your job to make sure he is ready for his defense. Mind your own business. If this really seems to be affecting him then just be a supportive friend and suggest that he focus on school first, THEN think about pursuing this lady.
Well we are collaborating on some small projects together . Thus I really want to see him passed so I can continue on.
Well you can ask him to focus for your small projects. But you can't make him focus on his own dissertation.
I had never heard of that term before and thought you made a typo but Wikipedia tells me otherwise. Thanks for teaching me a new term lol.
Yeah, seems not many have heard of it. Limerence is more one-sided, and obsessive. Infatuation is a bit more normal, what everyone goes through sometimes, and at the start of relationships. But I won't say everyone goes through "limerence." But many do.
Now, some see infatuation and lim as the same. I view the latter as more extreme. Now this is just me. There have been debates on it.
We learn to pick ourselves up after we fall. Your friend has to fall to learn. Your job as a friend is to give him a hand up, not to carry him
Exactly this, that's a personal problem for your friend to work out for himself. When a person is that obsessed, they are not hearing what they don't want to hear. It is pretty much a waste of time trying to reason with him. You pretty much just have to let it play out, and whatever happens just happens. Look at it as a life lesson.
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. Thus I really want to see him passed so I can continue on.
